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Reply #45: Well, I have my own theories... [View All]

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SmokingJacket Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Apr-07-06 11:43 AM
Response to Reply #23
45. Well, I have my own theories...
In the case of anorexia, the studies are conflicting and difficult to interpret. I think it's safe to say no one is really certain what the hell is going on. People *are* fucked up about food, but perhaps it has been ever thus -- I don't claim to be an expert.

I know it hit me right before I went away to college. It was about a lot of things -- yes, about not wanting to grow up and be sexual, but also about my perfectionism and my anger at my mother. It was as if all of a sudden, my anxieties and my confusion about my identity morphed into a desire to be as thin as possible. Really. I remember actually *deciding* that losing however many pounds would solve all my problems.

And all these years later, I can still remember the wonderful feeling of walking down the street, knowing 1)knowing I hadn't eaten all day, and 2)my body was shrinking at that very moment -- I could feel it happening. It *was* a high -- it was ecstatic. Like a former junky, I miss that feeling sometimes.

I think with some people, once the dieting ball gets rolling, it snowballs, to mix metaphors. But the dieting in the first place -- the hatred of one's body -- comes from the culture.

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