Reply #19: as a non-believer, I admit it all sounds rather meshuge

[foo_bar]

I think you need to study the principles instead of relying on personal stories.

I think you need to see how people actually practice Judaism instead of relying on what you're told second-hand; initially you shared your personal anecdotes, so I shared mine. Perhaps it would help you rid of some myths, such as "Classic Reform" or the notion that the "Reform" label magically confers a liberal/modern outlook that may or may not be there in practice.

But you were using it to support a stereotype to prove a ridiculous point.

Sorry it was your ox being gored (and mine, as I was raised "Reform" at the aforementioned Temple Emanuel, but found the whole experience of discussing the joys of Leviticus by breaking every Levitical law somewhat hypocritical, whereas Orthodoxy in any religion or movement has no appeal to me, be it the hypocrisy of Orthodox Judaism with shabbos goys and self-motivated shabbos elevators, or the orthodoxy of Reform/Conservative believers who insist that I just haven't been to the right Reform synagogue yet (edit: or spoken to the right rabbi), at which point I realize organized religion probably isn't for me).

Go to your closest JCC and take an intro to Judaism class to learn more about the movements

Go to your nearest library; I've been to plenty of JCCs, and didn't discover much difference with the Catholic or even secular municipal versions other than the particulars of the swimming pool and which concepts you can safely discuss without being kicked out the club (and yes, non-believers can be just as bad when it comes to orthodoxy, but for whatever reason I have more interesting arguments with non-believers-in-a-particular-sect-or-denomination).

You know, some reform Jews might like having sex with chickens but that doesn't make the movement condone bestiality or the practice be an offical practice of the Reform movement. Same goes with the orthodox.

At least you read Portnoy's Complaint (or knew the reference), so you aren't completely sheltered from approaching taboos in the guise of humor (poor delivery notwithstanding). I wouldn't extrapolate the personal practices of every Jew I've met into the guidelines of their (at one time, our) respective movements, but I also wouldn't pretend that the movements exist in some sort of theoretical vacuum where the daily application of these sometimes-codified principles is necessarily consistent or even internally consistent.