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Reply #99: Excerpt in Time: How I Survived John's Affair [View All]

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Adelante Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue May-05-09 08:07 AM
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99. Excerpt in Time: How I Survived John's Affair

Elizabeth Edwards: How I Survived John's Affair
By Elizabeth Edwards Tuesday, May. 05, 2009

... Like most wives or husbands in my position, I wanted to believe his involvement with this woman had been as little as possible. A single night, another opportunity, but that was it and he had wanted away from her.... It turned out that a single time was not all it was. More than a year later, I learned that he had allowed into our lives and had not, even when he knew better, made her leave us alone. I tried to get him to explain, but he did not know himself why he had allowed it to happen. In months of talking with him, I have come to understand his liaison with this woman, if I have, not as a substitute for me. Those with any fame or notoriety or power attract people for good reasons and bad. Some want to contribute and some want to take something away for themselves. They flatter and entreat, and it is engaging, even addictive. They look at our lives, which from the outside in particular are pictures of joy and plenty, and they want it for themselves. (Read an interview with Elizabeth Edwards and Teresa Heinz Kerry.)

Just as I don't want cancer to take over my life, I don't want this indiscretion, however long in duration, to take over my life either. But I need to deal with both; I need to find peace with both. It is hard for John, I can see, because it is something about which he is ashamed. But his willingness to open up is a statement that he trusts me, too. For quite a long time, I used whatever he admitted in the next argument and he was hesitant to say anything. That is, gratefully, behind us. There is still a great deal of sorting through to do the lies went on for some time. And we both understand that there are no guarantees, but the road ahead looks clear enough, although from here it looks long.,8599,189570...
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