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Home » Discuss » Archives » General Discussion: Presidential (Through Nov 2009) Donate to DU
NanceGreggs Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Apr-17-09 12:03 AM
Original message
Tips For Teabaggers
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Edited on Fri Apr-17-09 12:30 AM by NanceGreggs
No doubt you have now been convinced, the vast dozens of you, by FOX-News and various and sundry other purveyors of the non-truth, that yesterdays non-event was an event that rocked the world.

Ergo (oh, for Christs sake, Google the word, why dont you?) you will be planning non-events for the future.

Please consider the following Tips for Teabaggers:

Change your name. Considering the connotation of teabagging, you might want to no, uh, nevermind. Stick with teabaggers its just too :rofl:


Try to find out what is it you are allegedly protesting before you participate. Chances are (being as there are so few of you) you will wind up in front of a TV camera at some point, being asked why you are there. Responses like duh, I dunno, and beats me do little to advance your cause whatever that cause may be.

Pulling off the grassroots movement thing means NOT making references to FOX-News or corporate sponsors of your non-event. Its kind of like telling a chick you just met in a bar that youre single and sexually insatiable despite the fact that youre wearing a wedding ring, and your BlackBerry keeps flashing a message about picking up some extra-strength Viagra on your way home.

Placards and signs will be captured by TV and still cameras. Spelling and grammar come into play here no, seriesly. Dont be afraid to ask a neighbor for help in bringing properly-spelled words together into a coherent sentence. If you have a Liberal neighbor, he/she is probably your best bet when looking for someone with expertise in this area. (They may not agree with your political views, but they will defend to the death your right to mis-spell them.)

A little fact-checking goes a long way. Its always wise to make sure youre not protesting what you think a new administration is about to do, when it turns out to be the same thing the previous administration (the one you supported so vehemently) actually did do for eight fuckin years. This Obama guy is about to plunge the nation into unfathomable debt oh, noes!!!

The clothes make the man/woman. Wearing a hatful of teabags will (a) demonstrate your idiocy for all the world to see, and (b) ensure that you never get laid again at least not by anyone who isnt just itchin to fuck an idiot.

Stay mindful of those Good Christian Family Values youre always braggin about, especially while youre out in public. Your seven-year-old with the Dont touch my piggy-bank sign is adorable why isnt she in school? Oh, thats right, schools are evil, what with being funded by tax dollars and all just like those tax-dollar-funded firefighters who are on their way to your house, trying to save it as it burns to the ground while youre out rantin, wearing a hatful of teabags.

Find a fact (yes, an actual fact] and commit it to memory (yes, at this point, a single fact will do) thats one more fact than you had in your empty head yesterday, and it might come in handy in future.

If you find yourself in possession of a single fact, you might not want to participate in teabagging in future and Id suggest the first fact you look into is the definition of the word teabagging.

But thats just me :rofl:



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