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Reply #46: Update: Jesus Christ Arrested [View All]

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krispos42 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Jan-27-08 06:05 PM
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46. Update: Jesus Christ Arrested
Edited on Sun Jan-27-08 06:06 PM by krispos42
By Krispos42, DU Staff Writer
January 27, 2008

St. Louis, MO - Jesus, the Lord and Savior of over a billion Christians worldwide and known as the Prince of Peace, was arrested in a SWAT-style raid by Immigration and Customs Enforcement agents.

Shortly after returning to Earth to endorse U.S. Senator Barack Obama (D-IL) for President of the United States, Jesus, originally from Nazareth in northern Israel, was arrested in an unannounced ICE raid by over a dozen agents at an Obama rally in Branson. Jesus, last name not known, was then swiftly placed in a police paddy wagon and taken to an undisclosed location.

Secretary of Homeland Security Michael Chertoff's office released a brief statement stating that Jesus' arrest was due to "serious violations of US customs" and "the violation of sovereign US borders". Chertoff's release also noted that Jesus was born and raised in an area of the Middle East known for religious extremism and sectarian violence, hinting that Jesus may have been part of a terrorist cell.

Department of Homeland Security officials have scheduled a press conference at 9am CST tomorrow. Repeated call to the DHS public-affairs office went unreturned. However, one ICE official, when asked off the record about todays events, said "Well, there are politics at play here, definitely. The orders for this came down from the top, and I'd bet a month's pay that the Christian conservatives aren't happy about this at all. They've spent so much time and money beating their drums about how Christian they are and how pro-Christian the Republican Party is this has to be a disappointment to them."

White House Spokeswoman Dana Perino declined to comment about the events of today, except to note that this was the sort of thing we could have prevented from happening if Congressional Democrats threw their support into the President's National Missile Defense program.
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