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Reply #16: Yes. [View All]

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Xithras Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Dec-02-10 01:42 PM
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16. Yes.
With one major exception, there is little reason to completely withold sex, especially at that age. The secret to a successful marriage isn't just about making yourself happy, but about going out of your way to make the other person happy as well. If one partner in a marriage is unwilling to have sex in any form (and there are MANY ways to do it), they're essentially declaring that they aren't interested in making their partner happy anymore. I do MANY things for my wife that don't exactly thrill me, but I do them anyway because they make her happy. She does the same. While this doesn't relate only to sex, I know for a fact that she's had sex with me a number of times during our marriage even though she really wasn't in the mood for it, simply because she knew that I was and wanted me to be happy. I've done the same for her.

A deliberate and permanent (or long term) witholding of sex signals that the partner is no longer willing to go out of their way to make their partner happy. That's usually a signal of VERY serious problems in a marriage that usually extend far beyond the bedroom. If the partner isn't willing to work on overcoming those problems, it's probably better to just end the marriage.

The one major exception, of course, is times of illness or injury. No married person should expect sex from their partner when they are physically incapable of doing so, or when it would cause pain. The presumption with that exception, at that age, is that it's temporary. The injury or illness will be overcome at some point, or the partner will pass away. You're not asking them to give up sex for the rest of their life.
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