Retail Wage-Slaves: Tell us about your freakiest customer!

[Rhythm]

We all have the odd ducks that have been in our check-out line, or people we've had to help find something really peculiar. Who's been the one you just wanted to scratch your head and go WTF?!

Here's mine:

I currently work in a little mom-n-pop convenience store. I've been there for a year, love my boss, and have a good relationship with all of the 'regulars.'

Yesterday, this guy and girl come in. The girl looks really average: a little overweight, brown shoulder-length hair, unremarkable-looking face.

The guy, however... different story all-together
His face was totally tattooed to look like one of the guys from Insane Clown Posse!

(dark patterns like the guy on the left, but in a crappy fading bluish-black)

They came in for smokes and beer, and of course i had to card them. Dude's ID pic had been shot before he got this done to himself, so it required me to look a little harder at him to make a positive identification that it was indeed him.

I didn't comment at all, but in the back of my head, i'm thinking a whole list of things:
1.) Dude, how does it feel to know that your life is essentially over?

2.) Dude, you should have NEVER let your friend loose with a homemade tat gun.
Whoever did this has no skills whatsoever. If you're gonna look this way anyway,
fork out some bucks and get a real tattooist to fix it.*L*

3.) Dude, you had better never so much as jaywalk, because there is no way that a witness to any
crime you might commit would not be able to identify you.

4.) Dude... what are you planning to do, job wise? I mean seriously... what?
(see #3 for why you can't make a career out of dealing dope or other underground activities)

5.) Dude... if you end up in jail, do you have ANY idea just how much of a target you are going to be?

And yeah, all of these thoughts coming from someone who IS tattooed, but had the common sense to put things in places where they're only visible if i want them to be.