Reply #19: Have you talked to the woman in question about what she might want?

[eyesroll]

I say this as someone for whom showers are the ninth circle of hell: Tailor the party to the (pregnant, possibly emotional, possibly socially phobic, etc.) guest of honor, not to what the "group of ladies" (you didn't say whether these ladies included her peers, or her mom and her mom's friends) want. For instance, many pregnant women stay out of nail salons and away from nail polish during pregnancy because of the chemicals.

I prefer the lower-key end of things...the formal tea and potluck, from your list of past parties, are the most appealing to me...the luau would be fine without the Hula dancers (too much! way too much!) and without the spam (because, well, eew)...but my point is, this is just me, and everyone is different. You may find your guest, underneath her tattoos, wants to be Cinderella or Captain Kirk for a day...or you may find she want to eat little sandwiches, drink punch, and play Bingo.