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Reply #35: I learned this the hard way! [View All]

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chookie Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Feb-09-04 04:10 PM
Response to Reply #18
35. I learned this the hard way!
Edited on Mon Feb-09-04 04:13 PM by chookie
There was a porky grad student who was crazy over me. He was a great guy -- so much fun. We used to go out as friends and always had a blast. He found out that I had a crush on some emotionally unavailable guy, and freaked out. "What the HELL is WRONG with women????"

He went off to finish his PhD at an Ivy League school. He achieved highest honors. As a young man, he skyrocketed to the top of his profession.

When I saw him after he returned to town, I was astonished at what a magnificent man he turned out to be. His natural charm and humor were all still there, but he had been polished into a diamond of intellect. To hear him speak, or converse with him was thrilling.

Boy -- did I feel stupid not to have seen him on the radar screen of love.

He brought his wife back to meet up. She was a troll -- silent, sullen, inarticulate.

Eventually she got tired of being married to the rising star of his field of science because he was not earning enough for her, and spending too much time away doing research, and she made him get a job with a corporation.

Those of us who recognized his achievements as a scientist and who saw him as the rising star that he was were devastated. But he chose the love of this woman over the love of his profession.

The funny thing is that as a high-achieving type myself, I am supportive of other high-achieving types and would never think of "domesticating" one, and if I had had the sense to hook up with him, theoretically things might have worked out optimally for both of us. But alas, I was too shallow and stupid. Not that I obsess over this or anything. When you do something stupid, best not to let it bug you too much, but it was a very loud wake-up call concerning my criteria for selecting mates, and I learned well from it.

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