Anyone else here come to the conclusion that they don't want to marry?

[StellaBlue]

I have recently.

Six months ago I was involuntarily liberated from a common-law type of situation, which I had been in for four years. I didn't get married to him because a)I knew, at 22-25, that I was too young; b)I wasn't sure that I 'believed' in marriage in general or felt it was right for me; and c)I always had the nagging feeling that it wasnt'. quite. right. Which of course, in the end, it wasn't. I am very glad I am single again.

Anyway, I was just wondering if anybody else has decided, at whatever age, recently or years ago, that they didn't want to marry (straight or gay). My experience has led me to the conclusion that I don't like most men (this is not meant to start a flame war - I suspect many men don't really want a 'wife' any more than I want a husband, what with all the nagging, death of libido, etc. that very often follows the blessed day), never want to tmake the mistake of compromising (or 'settling') again - even though I wasn't at first, but it just became more and more apparent as the relationship dragged on and on... I don't particularly feel that I am incomplete or need someone to promise to love me forever. I do think about aging, but you never have a guarantee that your spouse or partner won't die young, anyway. I also want to have children, and would like to have them with someone I love and who wants to be a father and that I am in a monogamous relationship with, keeping it all out in the open. I don't forsee even beginning to seriously think about this for about another five or six years, and, if it doesn't happen, I am happy to adopt some kids who desperately need a family and who would be better off with a single parent than with none.

It just seems to me that, with very few exceptions, most marriages end up being traps - emotionally, financially, spiritually, socially. If I happen to find someone I am content to spend the rest of my life with, great - but I also don't feel I need state or sacred sanction. I intend to never, ever be financially dependent on anyone ever again. I want to have my own house, my own things, my own life. And to voluntarily choose to share it with someone for the joy of it, not to merge like a corporation, to create a petty dynasty, a Machiavellian financial contract.

I am not trying to bash anyone who's happily married; this isn't about that. I am just saying that, for me, personally, it's not a contract I want to sign up to. I would like to hear the thoughts of others who share my feelings, especially older (I am only 26) DUers who purposefully and thoughtfully decided to become old spinsters and bachelors.