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Reply #124: Yes, but most depressed women have serious self esteem [View All]

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smirkymonkey Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Nov-19-05 03:14 PM
Response to Reply #107
124. Yes, but most depressed women have serious self esteem
issues, which means that they probably aren't going to be attracted to someone who treats them well because it is inconsistent with their self-image.

People are strange, they may think they want to be happy with another person, but often they choose someone who reinforces the negative view they have of themselves, the opposite sex (or whatever sex their lover is) and relationships in general.

The question is, how do you keep ending up with this type of person? I used to think I was a victim stuck in a pattern of ending up with the same type of self-hating man, but once I recognized that on some level I CHOSE this type of person because something in me needed to believe all men were this way or that's all I deserved, I was able to change the pattern. Now I have nobody! ha ha :)

Seriously though, I am a good person - for the most part - and I am sure you are as well, but I think we need to look at ourselves to figure out what part of us needs to continue the pattern. (i.e. do you need to be needed? feel superior? etc. - btw, I am not accusing you of any of this, but I find that most of us really need to examine our deepest motivations if we want our lives to change for the better.) Good luck!
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