Reply #9: Garnett's Homemade Beer

[KG]

Garnett's Homemade Beer
(Ian Robb)

1. Oh the year was nineteen seventy-eight,
(How I wish I'd never tried it now,)
When a score of men were turned quite green
By the scummiest ale you've ever seen

Chorus:
God damn them all,
I was told this beer was worth its weight in gold
We'd feel no pain, shed no tears,
But it's a foolish man who shows no fear
At a glass of Garnett's homemade beer.

2. Now Garnett Rogers cried the town
(how I wish I'd never tried it now,)
For 20 brave men all masochists who
Would taste for him his homemade brew.

God damn them all,
I was told this beer was worth its weight in gold
We'd feel no pain, shed no tears,
But it's a foolish man who shows no fear
At a glass of Garnett's homemade beer.

3. This motley crew were a sickening sight
(how I wish I'd never tried it now,)
There was caveman Dave with his eyes in bags
He'd a hard-boiled liver and the staggers and jags.


God damn them all,
I was told this beer was worth its weight in gold
We'd feel no pain, shed no tears,
But it's a foolish man who shows no fear
At a glass of Garnett's homemade beer.

4. We hadn't been there but an hour or two
(how I wish I'd never tried it now,)
When a voice said "Give me some homemade brew"
As steeleyed Stan hove into view.

God damn them all,
I was told this beer was worth its weight in gold
We'd feel no pain, shed no tears,
But it's a foolish man who shows no fear
At a glass of Garnett's homemade beer.

5. Now steeleyed Stan was a frightening man
(how I wish I'd never tried it now,)
He was eight foot tall and four foot wide
Said "pass that jug or I'll tan your hide.

God damn them all,
I was told this beer was worth its weight in gold
We'd feel no pain, shed no tears,
But it's a foolish man who shows no fear
At a glass of Garnett's homemade beer.

6. Stan took one sip and pitched on his side
(how I wish I'd never tried it now,)
Garnett was smashed with a cupful of dregs
And his breath set fire to both me legs.

God damn them all,
I was told this beer was worth its weight in gold
We'd feel no pain, shed no tears,
But it's a foolish man who shows no fear
At a glass of Garnett's homemade beer.

7. Now here I am with my 23rd beer
(how I wish I'd never tried it now,)
It's six long years since I felt this way
On the night before my wedding day.

God damn them all,
I was told this beer was worth its weight in gold
We'd feel no pain, shed no tears,
But it's a foolish man who shows no fear
At a glass of Garnett's homemade beer.


Garnett is Stan Rogers bro.