My mother would be 80 today

[DeposeTheBoyKing]

Hard to imagine her at that wise and experienced age. She died too young at age 62 on January 15, 1987. I choose not to remember her as the frail, desperately ill wraith the cancer made her at the end. Instead I remember a beautiful black-haired, green-eyed lady with a loving heart, full of peacemaking urges, a crackling and silly sense of humor and love of liberal causes and politicians.

She had a hard life, losing her father at the tender age of two and not being appreciated by her mother. She married at 18 and was a mother at 19, bearing four children, of whom I was the youngest, born to her when she was 37. I think I made her tired. She survived three marriages and many financial difficulties.

She taught me manners and the importance of working hard. She taught me compassion for others. Her crazy sense of humor emerged when, frustrated at her lack of understanding when I came home from my German class trying to speak German, she created her own language (which sounded somewhat like the Swedish Chef on The Muppets). Although she wasn't crazy about them and didn't want any pets in our house, she allowed me to let the neighbors' cats into our house and run around because she knew I loved cats. She taught me to love books and reading.

Her children meant everything to her. When she was dying I asked her if she'd ever been happy in her life, as she had endured so many struggles that I wanted to make sure she'd had some happiness. She said she was content. I said, "But have you ever been HAPPY?" She said, "When I had my babies." She said to me, "You'll have a good life. I've lived my life." I told her it wouldn't be as good without her, and she just shook her head wisely as if to say, "I know better. Just wait."

She was my best friend and the center of my universe, and when she died, I lost everything. It has taken many years for me to become happy again. I have a wonderful husband, a beautiful home and a sister and friends who love me and whom I love. I finally fulfilled a dream I've had since high school and went to law school, and I will graduate in May of this year. She and my father would be so proud of what I've accomplished. My sister and I often talk about our sadness that she is no longer with us and about the things we'd like to do for Mom, but are unable to. We'd like to take her on trips around the world. My husband and I would like to have her live with us. We wish she could have experienced the Internet, as she would enjoy e-mail, instant messaging and just experiencing the world outside of herself.

She once said I brought the world home to her. I would not be in the world were it not for her, and I'm so grateful for everything she gave me. Happy Birthday, Mom - I LOVE YOU!!