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Its The People With STUPID Pets Thread! [View All]

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matcom Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat May-08-04 10:15 AM
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Its The People With STUPID Pets Thread!
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i am getting pretty sick of all these pet posts that say: "my cat is soooooo cute" and "my pot bellied pig knows 187 tricks!"

look folks. some pets are stupid. some are retarded. some couldn't find their asses with ANOTHER DOG'S nose!

meet Remy 'the Wonder Pug'

Remy ain't the smartest Pug on the block. Frankly, he is a Hamburger shy of a Happy Meal. Remy barks when the wind blows. Frankly he barks when the wind ISN'T blowing. This often occurs at precisely 2:17 am. the cats don't like it (BTW, we have one cat who is a genius and one that is competing with Remy for the "My IQ is less than the number of my paws Award" but that is for another thread.

god FORBID the Mrs and I go outside to do yard work. Remy doesn't simply bark, he HOWLS at the damn MOON! his lips pucker up and he just tries to shatter windows! Sorry Remy, i am mowing the DAMNED LAWN and really don't want you chasing the lawn mower trying to bite it like you do with the vacuum cleaner. :eyes: i have opened up the windows and put a nice blanket on your favorite chair so you can SEE mommy and I whilst we work so you know we haven't left you for all eternity.

tricks? does Remy do tricks you ask? well if you consider blowing Pug-snot in your face EVERY TIME you let him on your lap a trick then i suppose so. he can sure suck down a Beggin' Strip too.

Remy weighs a porky 28lbs. (that is his mother's fault btw). when the Yorkshire Terrier PUPPY that lives down the street walks by, Remy goes CRAZY!! he can't WAIT to play with it. course when Remy is let out from behind the protective screen to 'play' with "Benny" he immediately goes into "Holy Shit I Am Actually TERRIFIED Of Other Dogs" mode. Remember i told you Remy weighs 28lbs? "Benny" maybe weighs 3lbs. Hell, i have seen the cat cough up HAIRBALLS that are bigger than this little rat. Remy acts like he is in the presence of "Conan The King Of All Rottwilers".

don't get me wrong, Remy is lovable. i mean "Lenny" was lovable in "Of Mice And Men" right? its kind of like that.

Maybe i should have named him George. :)

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