I'm committed to this. Don't try to talk me out of it. In a week, I've arranged to be killed.

[MiddleFingerMom]

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Relax. Only for a little while.
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Some of you know that I've been having some pretty serious heart issues... the
most recent and troubling of which is aortic stenosis -- a major constriction
of one of my aortic heart valves. My blood flow is down (and the oxygen that
comes with it), so I get REALLY short-of-breath quickly. The pressure inside
my heart is way over what it should be compared to right outside it.
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Anyways, next Monday I have an aortic valve replacement scheduled (the
mechanical kind, not the pig kind... or I would have SO much bacon humor
available to me). They have to stop my heart momentarily (the "killing" part)
and put me on a heart/lung machine so they can work on the heart.
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2-3 days in a Cardiac ICU ward and then up to a week in a regular ward while
recuperating. It's the only part I'm not looking forward to -- this surgery is an
old-fashioned crack-the-whole-chest-open procedure and it's "rumored" to be
fairly uncomfortable for a while after. Then somewhere around a month or so
of home recuperation.
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The GOOD news is that I've arranged with my surgeon to get some Demerol
post-surgically instead of morphine (m-m-m-m-m-m, Dem-m-m-m-m-merol).
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So, starting next Monday. I'll be offline without access for about a week or so.
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I'll miss it (and you).
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So... gather ye the rosebuds of my silence while ye may.
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They assure me that this should work wonders and that I can expect a WHOLE
bunch more energy and vitality than I've been experiencing lately.
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You've been forewarned.
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I'm looking forward to this.
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Om mani padme tagteam bedbaths hummmmmm. Om mani padme tagteam bedbaths hummmmm.
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I'm listed in the Cardiac Registry at Saks, Nieman-Marcus, and WalMart.
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I've already picked out my new heart from the catalog -- the "Lub-a-Dub Steampunk"
model.
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