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"Choose Life - Your Mother Did" [View All]

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demgurl Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Jun-19-05 03:53 PM
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"Choose Life - Your Mother Did"
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I saw this on your mini-van (in NC yesterday). I can only imagine you did not mean to be cruel or offensive but I would love to address your bumper sticker.

There are so many things I could say to you and I wish to do so calmly so I do not offend you. First of all, there are many people who wish their parents had not made that choice. There are actually times when I wish my Mom had not made that choice as well. It is a mute point because if she had, I would not be here and would not even know about her 'choice'. Fine I am here and am enjoying life but as a fetus, I would not have known what was going on and merely just ceased to exist.

On a more personal level, you must know my mother. When I saw your bumper sticker I immediately thought of that old tune "Killing Me Softly". To make a personal statement as you did, you must know my Mom and that she truly did choose life.

A few years ago my Mom gave me a gift of a book. The book was titled "To My Daughter, With Love". It is printed with all sorts of questions for your Mom to answer so that you can truly get to know her better. It is a neat book and my Mom answered every one of the questions. For instance, on page 40 it asks "My truly private thoughts:".Here is the answer she gave: "was to grow up and leave home (my Mom's place as she took me home at 12 years old).

Page 41 continued this answer when the question was asked, "My deepest, darkest secret:". She answered "Even if I had to get pregnant, I would - just to get away."

See, some people will get pregnant to just get away. They may not love the child and since that is a tool to get away from their family adoption is not an option. SOME UNWANTED PREGNANCIES ARE NOT UNPLANNED!

What does all of this have to do with abortion you may ask. My Mom did not have an abortion so this should be of no concern to me. Wrong! This has to do with choosing life - what my Mom did. You are right, my Mom chose life, just not for me. I was always an afterthought for my Mom. She got divorced and was a single Mom from the time I was 4. Luckily we had a ton of pushover relatives that my Mom could aptly use for babysitters as she furthered her social life. Yes, she chose life and quite an active one at that. She chose a social life.

Yes, my Mom was quite the role model. I remember when she went to a meeting and left her boyfriend to babysit me. I still remember her boyfriend pulling on the shirt collar and trying to peer in while saying how much I had grown and to let him take a peek. I told Mom soon as she got home and to her credit she did throw him out. Of course, she did keep those naked photos of her and him. The photos I found about three years later of my would be abuser and my naked mother. It is abhorrent what he would have done if he could but not so much to get rid of those wonderful picture keepsakes of their relationship.

And, of course, there was the time my Uncle came on to me. It took me six years to convince her it happened and she only gave in because I had a couple of friends in the room and that would be the socially correct thing to do in front of them. My Uncle, of course, denied it and Mom stuck by him! I then said I could produce a witness. When she went back to him he went from saying it NEVER happened, to saying that IF it had it was all a misunderstanding. This from a guy who said he wished we were alone in a bar in Montreal and me in my black leather boots. I told him I am his niece and he said he was lonely!!! I pressed her that I would get my witness so he would have to fess up and even though my friends were there she finally snapped at me and said, "I will probably never speak to my brother again, isn't that enough for you?"

Oh I could go on and on about stories of my mother but I was in a great mood before I started to write this. The way my mother chose (her own) life, I may as well have been put up for adoption or aborted. Right now I am in the middle of a lawsuit against my mother. My family all started it against her (ten of them) and then they finally convinced me to join. I have now done the reverse of what some people do. I have aborted a living breathing human being from my life. A person who was so toxic that it could have only poisoned me and those around me. My 'mother' chose her life and I chose her death from my life anyway.

To the person with the bumper sticker on her car : You could not have been more right when you said my mother chose life. By aborting her, I have now also chosen life.

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