You are viewing an obsolete version of the DU website which is no longer supported by the Administrators. Visit The New DU.
Democratic Underground Latest Greatest Lobby Journals Search Options Help Login

Mr. Cranky: All The Way With Mary Kay [View All]

Printer-friendly format Printer-friendly format
Printer-friendly format Email this thread to a friend
Printer-friendly format Bookmark this thread
This topic is archived.
Home » Discuss » Archives » General Discussion (Through 2005) Donate to DU
Bark Bark Bark Donating Member (572 posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue May-31-05 03:36 AM
Original message
Mr. Cranky: All The Way With Mary Kay
Advertisements [?]
"Mr. Cranky" is a profane movie-review-humor site where the best movies still get at least ONE bomb. (He's "Cranky." Get it?)

The Crankster's recently added a new feature: "Mr. Cranky's Culture War!"

And maybe I've missed the outrage somewhere else--but "Cranky's Culture War" is the ONLY place I've seen ANYONE get pissed off about the celebrity status awarded to victim-marrying child-rapist Mary Kay LeTourneau by "Entertainment Tonight."

Thank you, Mr. Cranky.

I've found a wonderful and simple filter to find out who on the planet needs to be removed from it immediately to prevent their numerous, ignorant offspring from taking down the entire human race with them: If you watched or were interested in "Entertainment Tonight's" coverage of the Mary Kay LeTourneau wedding, please raise your hand. Now keep it up, so that we can find you, load you on a rocket ship and shoot it directly into the sun. I mean, send you on a magical space journey to a faraway planet where the beer is free and all the TV channels broadcast 24-hour topless NASCAR. A card will be showing up in the mail soon with information on where to park your Ford F150s and your mobile homes.

Due to editorial conventions that state, more or less, that a writer like myself must rehash the basics of a particular story so that the ignorant reader will know what the hell I'm talking about, here's the background in case you've been living in a cave for the last ten years: Sometime during June 1996, Mary Kay LeTourneau, a married schoolteacher and mother of four children, began an affair with her 13-year-old student, Vili Fualaau, a member of her sixth grade class. LeTourneau was arrested in March of 1997 on charges of second-degree rape of a child. At the time, she was pregnant with the first of their two children. She pleaded guilty and was sentenced to seven-and-a-half years in prison. Having no previous record, she only had to serve six months of the sentence, but was sent to serve her full term after ignoring orders to stay away from the apparently irresistible Fualaau. Even after the court ordered her to stop raping the boy, LeTourneau continued her so-called "love affair." Upon LeTourneau's release from prison, Fualaau, 21, had the order to keep her away from him dropped and now they're getting hitched.


NOTE: Before anyone recommeds that I "chill out," I, in turn, recommend they first rewrite their justification of LeTourneau's actions with the genders reversed--so that it's about a MALE thirty-plus-year-old convicted rapist marrying his victim, who was thirteen at the time of the crime--then read said justification aloud at the next family dinner...ironically, about the same time ET will be airing. If you survive, let us know how it went.

And keep your hand raised.
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top

Home » Discuss » Archives » General Discussion (Through 2005) Donate to DU

Powered by DCForum+ Version 1.1 Copyright 1997-2002
Software has been extensively modified by the DU administrators

Important Notices: By participating on this discussion board, visitors agree to abide by the rules outlined on our Rules page. Messages posted on the Democratic Underground Discussion Forums are the opinions of the individuals who post them, and do not necessarily represent the opinions of Democratic Underground, LLC.

Home  |  Discussion Forums  |  Journals |  Store  |  Donate

About DU  |  Contact Us  |  Privacy Policy

Got a message for Democratic Underground? Click here to send us a message.

© 2001 - 2011 Democratic Underground, LLC