An Open Letter To The Mainstream Media

[Plaid Adder]

Dear Mainstream Media,

Hello. I am the Plaid Adder. I am one of those people who posts stuff on the internet under an assumed name. Unlike "Jeff Gannon," however, I am not under the mistaken impression that I am a real journalist. I am a lunatic with internet access. I've always been ready to admit that. And it's because I don't work for a 'legitimate,' branded, American media outlet that it drives me absolutely fucking NUTS to see you people CAVE to this bullshit administration!

I meant to maintain the tone of civil disagreement a little longer, but GOD DAMN! What the hell are we going to do when there is no longer a single recognized media outlet in this country willing and able to stand up to this administration's bullying? What is it exactly that you people are afraid the administration is going to do to you? Throw you out of the White House briefing room? For God's sake, if they want to throw you out let them do it--what the hell use are those briefings anyway, except to get the lies du jour dished out for you on a hot plate? Are you afraid they'll cut off your access to administration sources? Well, if the administration sources are going to set you up and knock you over every time you talk to them, maybe you're better off WITHOUT access to these doublecrossing bastards. Hey, have you ever thought that maybe you'd get more accurate information about what this administration is up to if you interviewed some people who WEREN'T on the Bush payroll? Are you afraid the conservatives are going to cancel their subscriptions if Scott McClellan yells at you? Honey, they'll do it anyway as soon as you print anything that takes the halo off from George W's head. Or are you really afraid they're going to put you in jail for sedition? That's not the way it works at this stage in the evolution of a dictatorship--it's too important to them to maintain the illusion of a free press.

WHAT ARE YOU AFRAID OF? What have you got to lose by standing by a report that after all only relays a piece of information that has been in the public domain since 2003? Do you _really_ think that the average Afghani is making his decision about whether to participate or resist based on your reporting? May I remind you--and remind the assholes in this administration while I'm at it--that in the rest of the world, people get much of their news from outside the American mainstream media? The Koran-flushing story could have got to them from a dozen different directions long before you ever mentioned it, and even if you take Scotty's advice and completely transform yourself into a helpful conduit for the Bush administration's PR, that will not have a meaningful effect on America's image abroad.

You see, America's image abroad has already been irrevocably destroyed by America's actions. Self-censoring so that you only tell the happiest of stories about America's actions abroad only convinces those who have been affected by those actions that you're all a bunch of lying cowardly administration bootlickers. Which accomplishes what, exactly?

Repair America's image abroad. That's a good one, Scott. Nobody on God's earth could repair America's image abroad after the job George W. Bush and co have done on it. And Rumsfeld sputtering about how "people are dying"? For CHRIST'S SAKE! This is the guy who responded to questions about massive looting after the fall of Baghdad with "freedom is untidy." This is the guy who unleashed "Shock and Awe," whose military doesn't count civilian casualties, and who, most unbelievable of all, unleashed bloody anarchy all over the country he invaded because he DID NOT PLAN FOR THE INVASION PHASE. Now all of a sudden Rumsfeld cares about human life? BULL SHIT!

Look, if you people have decided that you can't print anything critical of the administration because it's too dangerous, why don't you just quit? Just run blank pages and advertising from now till the end of the War On Terror. The War On Terror will never end, of course, which means you will never be able to go back to reporting--but what do you care? Not paying correspondents, editors, typesetters, or photographers will save you all a lot of money and increase your profit margins, which is apparently all you care about. OK, if you don't think people will buy a blank magazine, why don't you just bring in Jeff Gannon to write all your copy? He works for free!

:banghead: :banghead: :banghead: :banghead:

Look, I'm not a real journalist. I don't have the time or the skills or the experience to be one. Neither do most bloggers, really. That's why WE NEED YOU. We need people whose job it is to find out what is really happening and report on it. Not what the administration SAYS is really happening, but what actually IS happening. You people are placed to do that, and you're placed so that people will actually believe what you say. And what are you doing? Rolling over. "Thank you, Mr. Rove, may I have another?" BAD MEDIA! NO BISCUIT!

I don't know why it's so hard for people to understand: you DO NOT EVER CONCEDE TO THIS ADMINISTRATION. As soon as they smell weakness, you're gonna get run over with a tank. CBS...*vroom*. Newsweek...*vroom.* PBS...*vroom*. Doesn't it bother you to see everyone else going under the tank treads? Don't you even want, just a little bit, to fight back, even if it only delays the inevitable?

Sigh.

Well, there it is. You have abandoned us. We are also abandoning you. In the end, the only people reading you will be Bush's staffers and his worshippers. The rest of us will be reading the Canadian, British, and Australian media--or anywhere else we speak the language. This is the era of the world wide web, and we don't have to buy your crap.

Enjoy your bootlicking,

The Plaid Adder