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top10 ADMIN Donating Member (155 posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Sep-07-09 12:28 AM
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The Top 10 Conservative Idiots, No. 372
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The Top 10 Conservative Idiots, No. 372

September 7, 2009
Pass The Straitjacket Edition

This week Lunatic Wingnuts (1), More Lunatic Wingnuts (3) and Yet More Lunatic Wingnuts (5) take over the list (and apparently the entire national discourse), while Glenn Beck (2) and Michael Steele (4) egg them on. Michelles Bernard (9) and Bachmann (10) bring up the rear. Don't forget the key!

Lunatic Wingnuts batshit crazy Obama hating

How crazy have the right-wing lunatic fringe gone over Barack Obama? This should give you a clue: This week the President is going to give a speech to the nation's schoolchildren in which he will tell them to study hard and stay in school. Care to argue with that, wingnuts?

Numerous conservatives have claimed that President Obama's upcoming September 8 speech about "persisting and succeeding in school," along with classroom activities about the "importance of education," will "indoctrinate" and "brainwash" schoolchildren. Conservatives have compared Obama's address to Chinese communism and the Hitler Youth, while also calling for parents to "keep your kids home" from the "fascist in chief."

This is obviously so completely bonkers that even stalwart GOPers are waving off the mad baying thing in the corner and slowly backing towards the door. "Holy crap. Conservatives, I love you, but sometimes you people really need to get a grip," said columnist Dan Calabrese. "It's just asinine... get your ratings if you want, you're just screwing your political party," said Joe Scarborough of MSNBC's "Morning Joke."

Makes you think though, doesn't it? If the President of the United States can't give a speech to kids about studying hard and staying in school without the mouthbreathers going into cardiac arrest, what can he do?

Glenn Beck dumb

Apparently nobody at Fox News has noticed, but in a move not unreminiscent of a serial killer Glenn Beck has started wallpapering his studio with Sharpie-scrawled conspiracy theories.

Creepy huh? Anyway, Beck's latest piece of quality journalism for the Fox News Network involves a plot so foul and murky that you need a strong flashlight and a gas mask to get through it. It turns out that if you take the first letters of the words Obama, Left, Internationalist, Graft, Acorn-style organizations, Revolutionaries, and Hidden agendas, you spell OLIGARCH. Oh the humanity!

Just one small problem - actually you spell OLIGARH, a fact that Beck spectacularly failed to notice during his rant.

It's okay though, because the next day Beck explained to his viewers that he'd merely forgotten to include the word "Czars," thus getting the last laugh over all those stupid liberal bloggers who'd spent the entire day guffawing at his ineptitude. Are you sure the C was for "Czars" Glenn and not "Conspicuous mental illness"?

More Lunatic Wingnuts batshit crazy

Unfortunately there are a lot of people living inside Glenn Beck's sick fantasy, people who are so distressed about the fact that the good old U.S. of A. is now run by black Nazi Muslim socialist President Hitler that they're willing to go to any lengths to release their pent-up rage. And when I say any lengths, I mean any lengths.

Congressman Frank Pallone (D-NJ), the man who recently "let it be known" that he'd step in should Gov. Corzine drop out of the New Jersey gubernatorial race, had his hands full at a town hall meeting in Red Bank last week.

More than 1,500 people showed up to talk health care, but things quickly turned ugly. Much like the unruly town hall meetings that have been going on across the country, the angry crowd held up bizarre and nonsensical posters of protest while hurling insults at Rep. Pallone, and each other.

A new low for these meetings may have been set when the crowd shouted down a wheelchair-bound woman with "two incurable auto-immune diseases" who had the gall to ask a question.

"I was diagnosed with two incurable auto-immune diseases," she said. "I live in fear every day that I will lose my home, not because I took on some irresponsible mortgage. No, I worked hard my whole life. Is it okay that one of my medications is $389 every two weeks, and I'm afraid that I'm afraid I might not be able to afford my property taxes and I'll lose my home?"

Of course it's okay! This is the greatest country in the world! Jeez lady, suck it up!

Michael Steele dumb lame batshit crazy

It seems this "trash the unfortunate" stuff is really catching on with Republicans. Take the RNC's clown-in-chief Michael Steele who last week gave a speech at Howard University in Washington DC "as part of his outreach program to Historically Black Colleges and Universities," according to the Huffington Post. What could possibly go wrong?

His effort to connect with young black students got off to a rather cringe-worthy start when right before the billed "student dialogue" two dozen white members of area young Republican groups arrived to sit in the reserved first two rows of the packed room.

Of course. Anything else?

But the discomfort turned to boredom as Steele's "dialogue" turned quickly into a monologue. The RNC chair went on a long rambling speech about pulling yourself up by your bootstraps, while the texting audience strained to stay awake.


The only thing that caused even a raised eyebrow was Steele's occasional effort at slang. When a student told Steele she was going into business law he said, "Business law! Mo money!"

Perfect. And the grand finale?

(Amanda) Duzak, a 23 year old Towson University grad, stood up, against the rules and out of turn.

"My mother died of cancer 6 months ago because she could only afford three of her six prescription chemotherapy medications," she projected. "There are 50 million people in this country who could end up like my mom, suffering or dying because they do not have adequate health care. Everyone in this room and everyone in this country should have access to good health care."

The room woke up and other than those glaring from the front, the applause was wall to wall. But it's Steele's response that makes this moment both newsworthy and a terrible comment on his character. After saying that he believed in a mature, honest discussion and not in shouting, Steele said, "People are coming to these town meetings and they're like (he then shakes)." He then looked and gestured right at Ms. Duzak and said, "It makes for great TV. You'll probably make it tonight, enjoy it."

Well done sir! You really showed that young woman whose mother just died of cancer who's boss.

Yet More Lunatic Wingnuts Obama hating just plain evil

Now let's find out who's been cheering for the death of the President recently. First up is former elk rancher Rex Rammell.

Rex Rammell, a former elk rancher slated to run against incumbent C.L. "Butch" Otter in the May 2010 GOP primary, made the comment at a Republican rally Tuesday in Twin Falls where talk turned to the state's planned wolf hunt, for which hunters must purchase an $11.50 wolf tag.

When an audience member shouted a question about "Obama tags," Rammell responded, "The Obama tags? We'd buy some of those."

Next we'll catch up with Tom Eisenhower at a recent town hall meeting held by the the oh-so-bipartisan Chuck Grassley...

A little-noticed YouTube video of a recent town hall meeting with Iowa Republican Chuck Grassley reveals the Senator gave a strikingly anemic reply to a man who compared Barack Obama to genocidal Nazi leader Adolf Hitler and made an implied threat against the president.

"The President of the United States," said Tom Eisenhower, who claimed to be a World War II veteran. "That's who you should be concerned about today ... Because he's acting like a little Hitler."

He added that he would "take a gun to Washington if enough of you would go with me," according to a report in the Pocahontas, Iowa newspaper The Messenger.


Sen. Grassley, a member of the Senate Finance Committee and one of the most important Republicans in the health insurance reform debate - who recently told AIG executives to "resign, or go commit suicide" - did not call out the man's brazenly false analogy or object to his threat.

And finally let's meet Steven Anderson, pastor of the Faithful Word Baptist Church in Tempe, AZ.

The United States Secret Service is speaking out about an East Valley pastor who is praying for President Barack Obama's death.


On August 16th, Anderson delivered a sermon titled "Why I Hate Barack Obama." In it, Anderson admitted he prays for the president's death. It is a position he reiterated Sunday.

"If you want to know how I'd like to see Obama die, I'd like him to die of natural causes," said Anderson. "I don't want him to be a martyr, we don't need another holiday. I'd like to see him die, like Ted Kennedy, of brain cancer."

Tune in next week for more death threats and perverse fantasies brought to you by the 21st Century Republican Party.

Maria Bartiromo dumb

According to her Wikipedia entry:

Maria Bartiromo (born September 11, 1967) is an American business news anchor and interviewer. Since 1993 she has worked for CNBC television, where she is currently co-host of the Closing Bell program from 3 to 5pm ET on weekdays, as well as host and managing editor for the nationally syndicated Wall Street Journal Report with Maria Bartiromo program. In 2007, named her one of the 100 most influential business journalists in the United States.

Bartiromo is also a columnist and writer for several business and general interest magazines and the author of the book Use the News: How to Separate the Noise from the Investment Nuggets and Make Money in Any Economy. She has won awards including the Union League of Philadelphia's Lincoln Statue Award (2004) and the Coalition of Italian-American Associations' Excellence in Broadcast Journalism Award (1997) and was nominated in 2002 for a Gerald Loeb Award for Distinguished Business and Financial Journalism for a series covering the widows of September 11.

So this can only mean one thing...

Earlier today, MSNBC's Carlos Watson hosted Rep. Anthony Weiner (D-NY) and CNBC anchor Maria Bartiromo for a discussion on health care.

At one point, Bartiromo was critical of the government-managed health care system in the United Kingdom. "How do I know the quality (of health care in the United States) is not going to suffer" with a public option? she asked.

Rep. Weiner reminded her that there already is government-managed health care in the United States -- namely, Medicare, the system created for Americans 65 years and older -- and that patients with Medicare report very high satisfaction rates.

Bartiromo's response to this argument was a true head-scratcher. In a mocking tone, she pressed the congressman: "How come you don't use it (Medicare)? You don't have it. How come you don't have it?"

Rep. Weiner, who turns 45 this week, tried to walk Bartiromo through it. "Because I'm not 65." But she was insistent. "Yeah... c'mon!" she exclaimed, laughing incredulously.

I smell a Peabody!

Bobby Jindal fiscal irresponsibility hypocrisy

Gov. Bobby Jindal has got a great little scam going down in Lousiana (see Idiots 370). Here's how it works: First rail against excessive federal spending. Then accept $4 billion of federal stimulus money. Finally waltz around the state handing out that $4 billion in the form of oversized checks signed "Bobby Jindal." Crafty.

But it turns out that that's not Bobby's only scheme. Last week it was revealed that he uses taxpayer money to get to church - which doesn't sound like much of a big deal until you realize that he's going to church in a helicopter. Oh, and in case you thought he was just using the helicopter to visit his own church, it turns out that he's actually attending "church services in far-flung parts of the state," according to The Advocate of Louisiana.

In May, June and July, there was rarely a Sunday when the governor didn't board a taxpayer-funded helicopter to attend church services in far-flung parts of the state. He traveled by helicopter to churches less frequently in March and April.

Over five months, Jindal took more than three dozen helicopter trips. Fourteen were to attend church services, according to state records.

He worshipped in Hornbeck, Many, Logansport, Angie, Elizabeth, Harrisonburg, Columbia, Winnsboro, Coushatta, Robeline and Anacoco.

At least two aides usually accompanied him along with his security detail and State Police pilots. The public pays their salaries as well as the fuel and upkeep for the helicopter.

The helicopter that the governor uses the most costs $1,200 an hour to operate - about $45,000 for five months of church visits.

$45,000 is quite a chunk of change. But come on, Bobby - next to the greatest of the Republican big government wasteful spenders, it's pretty lame. Can't you come up with more creative ways to get to church that cost even more taxpayer money?

I think you know what I'm talking about.

Robert McDonnell misogyny.gif homophobia religious nut

Things were going so well for Robert McDonnell down in Virginia. There he was, running to put a Republican back in the Governor's mansion, and riding high in the polls against his Democratic opponent Creigh Deeds. And then disaster struck.

It turns out that McDonnell has what might be described as a "whackjob problem," in that he is apparently one crazy whackjob. Back in 1989 he was working on a master of arts in public policy and juris doctorate in law at Pat Robertson's Regent University, alma mater of more than 150 Bush-era government employees (including the infamous Monica Goodling).

The result? According to the Washington Post:

At age 34, two years before his first election and two decades before he would run for governor of Virginia, Robert F. McDonnell submitted a master's thesis to the evangelical school he was attending in Virginia Beach in which he described working women and feminists as "detrimental" to the family. He said government policy should favor married couples over "cohabitators, homosexuals or fornicators." He described as "illogical" a 1972 Supreme Court decision legalizing the use of contraception by unmarried couples.

But let's be fair - this was 20 years ago. Surely a man's opinion can change over time?

The 93-page document, which is publicly available at the Regent University library, culminates with a 15-point action plan that McDonnell said the Republican Party should follow to protect American families -- a vision that he started to put into action soon after he was elected to the Virginia House of Delegates.

During his 14 years in the General Assembly, McDonnell pursued at least 10 of the policy goals he laid out in that research paper, including abortion restrictions, covenant marriage, school vouchers and tax policies to favor his view of the traditional family. In 2001, he voted against a resolution in support of ending wage discrimination between men and women.

Oh, I see.

Michelle Bernard lying excessive spin fearmongering

If you've ever watched MSNBC you've probably caught a glimpse of regular guest Michelle Bernard, the oh-so-independent president of the oh-so-independent Independent Women's Forum. "Gosh," you might have thought to yourself. "I have often wondered where the independent Michelle Bernard stands on health care reform. I expect she has a very independent opinion."

And that she does - independent of any common sense or rationality, that is. Here are some excerpts from a letter signed by Bernard and posted on the Independent Women's Forum website recently.

There have been plenty of disturbing developments since President Obama took office: hundred-billion-dollar pork-filled stimulus bills, an economy-crushing carbon tax passing the House of Representatives, and the government seeking to expand its control over just about all aspects of businesses, including compensation. Yet the stakes of the health care debate are a whole new level: Once passed, this type of health care bill would put the United States on an irreversible course toward socialized medicine. This would fundamentally change how our country runs, and make our citizens more dependent on government than ever before.

Oh no, not SOCIALIZED MEDICINE! There's only one way to get out of this - are you ready for Bernard's genius conclusion?

There are better ways to improve the system - such as by changing the tax treatment of health insurance, and removing regulations that preventing (sic) a more robust competitive marketplace.

Ah yes, of course! All we need to do is fiddle around with the tax code and further deregulate the health insurance industry and voila! Problem solved! What an independent line of thought that is, and not at all like something that might come directly out of the mouth of a Republican strategist.

As if the letter wasn't bad enough, it's posted alongside a video made by the Independent Women's Forum which claims that a government run health insurance plan could kill 300,000 women with breast cancer. With "independents" like these, who needs Glenn Beck?

Michelle Bachmann batshit crazy

And finally, it seems the wingnuts have become so unhinged by black Nazi Muslim socialist President Hitler and his mad Stalinist agenda of giving people affordable health care and telling kids to stay in school, that they're now literally willing to commit suicide to stop him. Last week Rep. Michelle Bachmann (R-Obviously) gave a speech in Colorado where she said:

This (health care reform) cannot pass...What we have to do today is make a covenant, to slit our wrists, be blood brothers on this thing. This will not pass."

Can it be long before black-and-white Nike sneakers become mandatory footwear for all true conservatives? Stay tuned to find out!

The Top 10 will be back in two weeks, on September 21. See you then!

-- EarlG
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