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Reply #43: The Gingrich alternative to Social Security, in a nutshell [View All]

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jmowreader Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Nov-26-11 09:11 PM
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43. The Gingrich alternative to Social Security, in a nutshell
Newt eliminates Social Security. He then sends you a box that says "Do not open until age 65."

On your 65th birthday, you open it to discover a cell phone, which has five non-expiring minutes loaded on it and one huge button in the middle, and a loaded .357 Magnum.

On the day you run out of money, you press the huge button, then use the pistol on yourself. The waste disposal personnel home in on your cell phone signal, pick up the body and deliver it to a waste disposal plant.

Two weeks later, you're on sale for $2.99 per box in your local Walmart. (And before anyone clicks "Reply" to tell me I'm a sick bastard, consider: this would be FAR more humane than letting people starve to death under Gingrich's plan.)

BTW, how long DOES it take to convert someone into Soylent Green?
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