Reply #1: Dear Queen Liz...

[Javaman]

Sorry, but I won't be able to make the wedding. Problems at home and all that rot. Give my regards to Charlie.

Enclosed you will find my gift. I will send more when able. Things are a bit tight at the moment, but do please give my regards to your British Parliament for staying mum on the problems here. All that bad press would just be so boring.

I do appreciate you giving the ad hoc support via the Saudi Military. I know it would be terribly messy for you to get directly involved.

In closing, I wish a very happy and beautiful day to the new bride and groom. I'm sure they will look smashing.

Yours,
The Crown Prince of Bahrain
Salman bin Hamad Al-Khalifa

P.S. Pardon the use of the paper napkin as my letterhead.