Reply #52: It seems after watching the video that a hug could have avoided

[carpediem]

a lot of this problem. I know they aren't supposed to touch a student, but if my kids start spiraling into a tantrum, usually the root cause is an emotion they don't know how to handle, fear, anger, hurt feelings, feelings of being slighted. The best way I have found to handle it is to calmly and firmly hug them. It usually works in about 20 seconds to a minute.

Unfortunately because of the society we live in today where everyone is afraid, and rightfully so, of adults touching kids inappropriately, teachers aren't allowed to act in a natural human way toward the kids.

When I watch the video I see the girl try to get into a hug position a couple of times with the Asst Principal by climbing on the desk and waiting for her to put her arms up to take her down. My kids do this, although not as part of behavior like this, they climb up on a chair and wait to be taken down and on the way down they get a quick hug.

That little girl was terrified and there wasn't an adult who was acting "normal" toward her, that only feeds the behavior. If someone had just hugged her I think it may have gone a long way in calming her down. She is only 5 after all and not capable of breaking down the emotions and logic of this situation. All she knew was she was in trouble, everyone was mad at her and her mom and the police were coming and noone told her how she could get out of it or stop it.

I was talking to a couple of teachers who live in my neighborhood and they say they are constantly told not to touch a child, in any way, not ever. I think that is sad and harmful, our very nature wants human contact and love, if we don't get it sometimes we lash out.