Democratic Underground

Equal Time with Bob Boudelang

"Everybody Hates Polls Showing Everybody Hates Our Great President! Also, Scooper Limpy and Harriet Mylar, We Hardly Knew Ye!"

November 5, 2005
By Bob Boudelang, Angry American Patriot

And I do not want to talk about those inditements which endangers the conservation of criminals, as I think somebody on Fox News was saying, when I was not getting chased away from the window but was just walking by quickly. Nor am I going to talk about meaningless poll numbers which are meaningless, because talking about them is meaningless since they do not show everybody loves Our Great President like I know they do.

But what a shame the headlines are full of misleading and unfair inditements and poll numbers instead of talking about all the good news such as the great way Karen Huge is letting the world know how much Our Great President hates them as she goes about her job as America’s newest good will ambassador.

Instead I want to say fair well to two fine people who are not all there any more. Scooter Limpy and Harriet Mylar have resigned, perhaps to spend more time with Karen Huge’s family since they do not seem to have families of their own and Karen Huge is not spending time with them any more. And even though I never heard of them until not so long ago, they will be missed. (By which I mean Scooper Limpy and Harriet Mylar, not Karen Huge’s family. Nobody misses Karen Huge’s family so do not be silly.) (By which I mean, oh forget it, if you are going to be that way.)

But instead of talking about Karen Huge and the Republicans have done such a good job showing people of the Middle of the East what Republicans really stand for, the T&V and newspapers and other running dog lackey yellow LIEberal journalists are focusing on trivial and side issues like the disgraceful stunt the Democraps pulled closing down the Senate in Congress!

Really, shutting down the Senate for any reason is wrong! wrong! wrong! wrong! wrong! wrong! And what a horrible insult to a fine person like Senator Doctor Bill Frisp (who only stole a few measly billion dollars from Medicare). Now Senator Doctor Frisp and his people will never be able to trust DemocRATS again.

And so now instead of Congress working on important issues like taking food stamps away from poor people or letting Our Great President torture the people he wants to torture, they have to be sidetract into looking at something as unimportant as why we are at war in Iraq.

Nobody but a few crybabies care why we are at war in Iraq. For real Americans it is enough that bullets are flying elsewhere in the name of freedom, as somebody should of said.

Speaking of bullets, who is not practically going Code Brown in their pants with excitement and delite that we have a fine man like Judge Eyetalianio or whatever his name is for Supreme Court nominee, even though he is not as qualified as Harriet Mylar. It is especially exciting to know that Judge Eyetalianio will let responsible people like me get our hands on machine guns! What could be more like freedom than that? I would like to see some of the liberal socialists and moderates around here try to say anything deneganatory about Our Great President when I get a machine gun, boy o boy!

Speaking of liberal socialists and moderates, let me add that I am outrage and upset to hear that a politician hired a man to be an official government official who wrote a book in which a girl had sex with a bear!!! Really!

Mrs. Brown Rosenfeld told me that but would not tell me who it was. But I bet it was some Democrap pervert like Hiltery Clinton. I was so angry that I wrote a letter to Dr. James Dopsen, who is one of those religious leaders we Republicans respect so much.

Dear Dr. James:

I am outrage to hear that a person who is an official Federal government official for this Federal government of ours that we hate so much wrote a book in which a girl has sex with a bear. What kind of sick twisted mind would think such a thing is entertainment? Such a person must be immoral in everything else he does or says.

Even worse, what sort of depraved and corrupt politician would hire somebody like that in the first place? Who would want to rub elbows with that kind of disgusting sicko every day in the office?

It makes me sick just to think about it, especially because I cannot find a copy of the book since I am not sure who it is. But I heard something about it, and that is good enough for the likes of me and you, right?

I know that since you did such a good job showing America how perverted Spongebob is, you will want to speak out immediately.

Yours truly and I mean it!

A true Xtian friend

P&S: Are there pictures in the book? Be sure and mention which book it is when you speak out so we can be properly outrage together.

I also sent a letter like that to Jerry Falwell, except I put "tubbytellies" where Spongebob is. And I hope that every one of you who are reading this right now will join me and write to Dr. Dopson, and Jerry Falwell and Pat Robertson and Fred Phelps and all the other fine moralizers and preachers asking them to condemn this immorality and threat to our family values.

And I am not going to talk about meaningless polls which are meaningless. Accept to say do you really believe that 35% of Americans support Our Great President, who gave us this swell war in Iraq even if we cannot say why, and who has worked tirelessly to destroy Social Security, and who did not lift a hand to help blacko-Americans in New Orleans for their own good so they could learn not to be anti-poverty pimps? Me neither.

Bob Boudelang is a Republican Team Leader who why doesn’t his readers send money so I can have a machine gun when Judge Eyetalianio lets me? Send it to because the blood of patriot libertines cries out for guns guns guns as Thomas Jefferson probly said.

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