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Equal Time with Bob Boudelang

"Hooray! Another Disaster for Our Great President To Be Responsible For!"

September 24, 2005
By Bob Boudelang, Angry American Patriot

Who is not excited and pleased as punched to see that there is another disaster for Our Great President to take responsibility for? It is all I can do not to keep from cheering out loud!

And this time George W. has promised out loud to not get in the way, unlike last time! Who could ask for more from a President? I have been trying to think for hours of any other President who actually promised not to get in the way when people were being rescued after getting in the way and preventing people from being rescued before. I do not even think Our Greatest President Ever Ronald Reagan (who is still dead) said such a thing after getting in the way and keeping people from being rescued.

As usual when there is a crisis, Our Great President is going to be right in the fray again. Last time with Hurricane Corrina he rushed to Califronia to play the guitar and cheer up the thousands of people who were dying, and this time he is going to Colorado when Hurricane Rita hits Texas and Louisiana. He will be in an underground bunker that not even an atom bomb could destroy but not because he is afraid. Maybe he will dress up in his pilot costume again, like when the Mission was Accomplished! At least that is what I hope. After all, look how well that has worked out!

And he is not leaving Washington D&C to hide from protestors, so stop saying that!

However, once again irresponsible LIEberals and moderates are blaming us Republicans for not fourseeing the umfourseeingable. For example, Jack Colley, who is in charge of the Texas emergency operations center, said that the number of people coming out of Houston was a surprise. "The number of people, the amount of cars, the amount of compliance with this (evacuation order), there's some things you can predict and some things you can't, that are unpredictable," Colley said.

Who can quibble with that? Maybe there should be a government agency that could keep track of things like how many people there are in places like Houston so Republicans could do their jobs. That is so important that perhaps it should be put in the Constitution, along with banning gayo-Americans from getting married and making Arnold Schwarzenabor Our Next Great President even though he is a killer robot.

So Republicans are in charge and they have told people to evacuate. And yes, the highways are too crowded, but at least people have gotten in their cars. And yes, those cars are out of gas, but there are filling stations every few miles on the highway. And yes, those filling stations are out of gas, but there are tanker trucks on the way to refill those stations. And yes, those tanker trucks cannot get to the gas stations because there are cars out of gas in the way on the highways. And yes, all of this is taking place right near gasoline refineries, but gee whiz! You have to expect a few little snags here and there when you are planning to have a disaster like Hurricane Rita!

Meanwhile, I am sure Our Great President will soon explain that no one could have fourseen that a hurricane would cause the levees to fail again after no one could have fourseen the first hurricane caused the levees to fail.

In the mean time, Homely Secretary of Security Michael Chertoff pointed out that he had done almost some of what he could do. "Looking back, you say, gosh, I wish we had done a little more," he said.

But all that is just more dead bodies over the dam, and there is no use crying over it like babies. Instead it is time to join Our Great President look forward to the progress that is being made in this great country of His, bringing Iraqis together, making the economy go boom!, and easing the crushing tax burden of our deserving rich people.

But are Demoncrats and the LIEberal yellow journalismist media joining Our Great President? No! Just this week, when George W. tried to call on a journalist named Bianca because he knew the answer to her question, she had the nerve to be not there! Imagine! I know if the White House asked me to ask Our Great President a question so he could give the answer he had rehearsed, I would be honored. But that is just me.

Enclosing, let us point out what a lucky country we are to have a great Senate leader like Dr. Senator Bill Frisp (who only stole a few measly billions from Medicare). Doctor Frisp is not only almost able to tell whether people are braindead and blind just by looking at TV pictures, but is such a good investor that he is able to sell his family business stock before it falls. Hats off to Dr. Frisp and us Republicans, and Our Great President is not a drunk!

Bob Boudelang is a Republican team leader who would be happy to be called Bianca by Our Great President. He can be reached at, but he is out of eyepops although that is not why he is not allowed back in the store, so stop saying that!

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