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Equal Time with Bob Boudelang

"At Last, The Tunnel of Light is Around the End of the Corner in Iraq!"

June 4, 2005
By Bob Boudelang, Angry American Patriot

Ha Ha Ha! To all you nay-sayers and Sodom-appeasers who have been saying things are a quagmeyer in Iraq because Our Great President is an incompetent and corrupt drunk. Well, the quagmeyer part is no longer true! We are officially on the road to victory in Iraq, no matter how many people it kills! Dick Cheney says so and that is good enough for me! Which accounts for the sunny mood at the White House these days.

So all of those LIEberals and firebrant moderates who poo-poo’d that our troops would be showered with rose pedals when we invaded, and who poopoo’d when Our Great President flew that airplane himself to say "Mission Accomplished," and who poopoo’d when George W. walked around with a turkey at Thanksgiving, and who poopoo’d when Sodom was caught in his spider hole, and who poopoo’d when people got blue fingers from the election, now have a new reason to poo-poo. But who cares, except people who have family members or friends in Iraq, and there are not very many of those thanks to George Bush. And not because he has gotten them all killed and wounded, so stop saying that! There are still some soldiers left alive.

And the success in Iraq is just one of the many great successes by Our Great President if only anyone could see them. For example, even though he was on his ranch in Texas, people told him that a plane was hijacked, even though it turned out not to be! And he listened! That is the sort of steal trap mind George W. has.

Which it does not mean that it was a mistake when the small plane buzzed Washington DC but nobody told George W. while he was bicycle riding. They were following protocol, which as we can see from this means only tell Our Great President about emergencies when there isn’t one.

And what could be more absurd then Anmesty Intentional calling our concentration camp in Gwantanamo a goolag? Really, just because we torture people there and hold them without trial does not mean that any abuses of human rights are going on that anyone can prove, since we are keeping people who might prove it out.

After all, if people could prove prisoners were being mistreated it would not prove anything except that bleeding heart knee jerk people who care about human rights were more concerned with justice and human rights than on keeping Our Great President from looking bad in public. Especially for things George did not have anything to do with and would condemn if he knew they were happening, which you cannot prove, since you do not know for sure that he got the memo about why prisoners can be tortured, which does not prove anything either.

You cannot blame Our Great Secretary of Defensive Donald Rumfilled or Our Great Vice President from Halliburton Dick Cheney. I think we should blame the Geneva Convention, which is outmoded and quaint when it comes to torturing Muslins and other terrorists, but not when it keeps pictures of torture hidden at our other concentration camp in Iraq, which is not a goolag either.

Speaking of not blaming anyone, it is all the guy who was Deep Throat’s fault that the Viet Nam War ended when it did instead of going on for many more years. After all, he was the one who unfairly showed what Richard Nixon who was not a crook was up to with great patriots like Chuck Colson and G. Gordon Liddy. And yes, they went to jail for it, but that does not mean it was as wrong as telling other people about what they did. And so Mark Felt will have to go down into the golden pages of history books of tomorrow wearing the most shameful label of all: tattletale.

Enclosing, let us salute the brave panel of conservative thinkers, including Phyllis Schafly, who you cannot prove is crazy, that put together a long list of books that ought to be burned before more people read them. It is a shame that these so-called authors have forced people to stop obeying authority blindly by putting ideas and thoughts out where they could be read. I am proud to say I have never read any of these books and I bet Our Great President has never read any of them either, and not just because none of them has a pet goat, despite what Mrs. Brown Rosenfeld says.

It is especially disgraceful that one discussed education and helped nurture the Clinton generation, which led to the shame of a President not being driven out of office just because there was no evidence of wrongdoing! Let the fire of freedom be lit to burn these books and any other ones that make people think! Amen.

Bob Boudelang is a Republican team leader who you could not prove started a fire in the public library, if there was one. He can be reached at

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