Democratic Underground

Equal Time with Bob Boudelang

"Our Great President Did Not Have Enough Balls to Catch Osama! "

April 23, 2005
By Bob Boudelang, Angry American Patriot

Who is not outrage and angry that another great Republican like Pope Ratz is being dragged through the muck and meyer by the sort of people who look at what he has said and done? And you know what sort of people I mean! Too!

And yes I know, Mr. Smarty Pants Atheist, that his real name is Pope Benadryl VIX. But I call him Pope Ratz because it is more homely and helps humanize this kind and holy man.

Pope Ratz is almost as good as a real Christian like me, even though he does not believe in the Rupture and will be in the lake of hot burning fire for eternity with the other Papists.

Yes, he was in the Hitler Youth, but so what? He says he was only there for the fascist discount, and if you cannot believe somebody from the Hitler Youth, who can you believe? I ask you?

And who is not inspired by the way Pope Ratz and Our Great President shared the same sense of duty and military service? It is almost like they are brothers, except for the Papist thing and all.

Speaking of brothers, it is exciting to know that Pope Ratz and Our Great Brother of the President Neil Bush (who did not have the clap, only herpes) were partners in business not so long ago. Which has nothing to do with the letter Pope Ratz sent out during the election (when he was still only Cardinal Ratz) telling Catholics if they voted for Kerry, they would go to hell, which nobody can prove anything different yet, and they should stop looking for obvious reasons.

And yes, the business is on the books as a trust and not the religious foundation it was spoze to be, but that is just sloppy paperwork. Or something.

After all do you think Pope Ratz and Our Great Brother of the President Neil Bush would be involved with anything like "trust"? It bobbles the mind.

And yes, Neil Bush did bang teen Asian prostitutes which is how he got his disease (which is not the clap so stop saying that!). But I am sure Pope Ratz forgave Our Great Brother of the President and probly told him just to say five Heil! Marys or the like.

After all, Pope Ratz is not worried about little piccarilloes like banging teen Asian prostitutes, or stealing a billion dollars from a Savings & Loan (and you cannot prove that Neil did any thing wrong when he stole that money!). Pope Ratz is busy focusing on the real evils of the world, like equal rights toward gay people. There is none of that in the Vatican, and Pope Ratz is making sure the threat of tolerance is stamped out. Today the Vatican, and tomorrow, the world!

But we would not have a Pope Ratz at all if it were up to obstumptalicious LIEberals and firebrant moderates like we have in the Congress. For example, they are blocking Our Great Presidentís Ambassador to the U of N John Bolton from going to work to tear down the U of N by asking questions and holding hearings. Imagine! I guess to some people it is not important to have somebody who will tell the rest of the world how much we hate them.

And yes he lied about what the Ambassador to Korea said about his speech, and yes he hid memos from Colon Powell and yes he harassed at a business woman from Texas, but gee wiz! Democraps would complain if Our Great President nominated Jesus Christ himself, especially if Jesus Christ would of lied and hid memos and harassed at a business woman from Texas.

Nothing shows how unfair it is than the witchhumping of poor Tom Delay, who is being called a dangerous nut just because he said a few judges would have to pay for disagreeing with him.

Fortunately Tom Delay has friends with guns like Ted Nugent, who is not a dangerous racist coward even if he pooped his pants at the draft board. Ted and Tom are great Americans, and if sex with underage young girls is good enough for Neil Bush, it is good enough for Ted.

But all of this is because DemocRats do not have the swell values that us Republicans have. That is why Senator Doctor Bill Frisp (who only stole a measly few billions from Medicare) is holding a rally this Sunday to explain why Jesus wants judges like Charles Pickering so there can be more cross burning.

Speaking of burning, the Space Shuttle will shortly be falling out the skies again, and it is exciting to know that Our Great President has solved the problem of the Space Shuttle not meeting safety standards. He has got rid of the safety standards.

Wala! Another problem finds a bold solution thanks to George W.ís jenius. And do not listen to Mrs. Brown Rosenfeld when she says NASA stands for Need Another Seven Astronauts. That is just liberal hate speech of the sort we are all to accustomed of hearing. No wonder right wingers like Ann Colter say liberals should all be killed.

Finely and most important so I am putting it at the end, I hope Demoncrats and other extremists will stop asking "Where is Osama?" The question of why Our Great President could not get Osama has finally been answered. Our Great President could not get Osama because he did not have enough balls. Yes, if George W. had more balls he would of got Osama. But he did not have enough balls and it is not his fault.

It is a sobering lesson to us allóand that does not mean I am admitting anything.

Bob Boudelang is a Republican Team Leader who wishes Our Great President could have more balls. He can be reached at if you agree.

Read Bob's Other Rebuttals

 Print this article (printer-friendly version)
Tell a friend about this article  Tell a friend about Bob Boudelang
 Jump to Editorials and Other Articles forum