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Equal Time with Bob Boudelang

"The Republicans Are the Party for Brain Dead People! Hooray!"

March 26, 2005
By Bob Boudelang, Angry American Patriot

Well, who can doubt now that there is only one party for brain dead people everywhere?

I am talking, of course about the Republican Party and Our Great President. It is clear that the brain dead everywhere can count on them, unless of course, unelected activist judges who will not act.

I blame the Socialist Democrap culture of death, which would deny people life-affirming assault weapons and would stop torturing prisoners if they could. Which is better, that women get to choose when to be pregnant and people get to die with dignity? Or that Our Great President interrupt his vacation and fly back to Washington to sign an emergency bill passed without a quorum despite what some dusty old Constitution says?

But fortunately happy days are here again, because God has sent Terry Shyvo to die so that people will stop talking about all the scandals Our Great Republican Guy in the House of Representatives Tom Delay (who is not a dangeous nut) is having. Which we know because Tom Delay said so. "One thing that God has brought to us is Terri Schiavo, to help elevate the visibility of what is going on in America. This is exactly the issue that is going on in America, of attacks against the conservative movement, against me and against many others," Tom Delay said.

Another happy result of this lady dying is that she is a great issue to attack DemocRATS with and will get people excited.

And another wonderful thing about Terri dying is that it will bring Republicans and conservatives lots more money. The Reverend Louis Sheldon, who is not a crazy bigot, said happily that many people are opening up their checkbooks and sending him money so he can keep speaking out about gay people except when they are prostitutes who are pretending to be reporters at White House press conferences who got in without background checks and got ahold of clasified documents. That is how glad we right wingers are that this woman is dying. So there!

And how desperate are the Democraps? So desperate that they are trying to pretend that the cuts in Medicaid that Tom Delay and Our Great President tried to put through have something to do with this lady, just because part of her care is paid by Medicaid. What kind of crazy person thinks the budget on health care has anything to do with health care? It is just numbers on a page! It just shows that leftists and moderates are disconnected from reality.

How can they ignore what a doctor who was nominated for the Nobel Peace Prize in Medicine says? They are also ignoring the opinion of great doctors like Senator Doctor Bill Frisp who only stole a few measly billion from Medicare. Doctor Senator Bill Frisp pulls the plug on his patients regularly but then he believes in the culture of life. Besides, he does not need to actually examine patients to know they are going to get well or not but can just look at a videotape, which probably speeds up whether he pulls the plug on his patients or not.

But then Senator Doctor Bill Frisp has values and is part of the culture of life. Without the Republican culture of life, how will we ever get the mercury we need into the environment? Without the Republican culture of life, we would have to stop torturing prisoners just because torture does not work. It is scary to think that if it were not for the culture of life, the oil company could not work its magic in the Arctic National Wildlife Refuge and polar bears and musk oxes would run through the wilderness without being killed.

Just think, without the GOP, doctors might be sued for malpractice and families might be able to declare bankruptcy due to medical costs. Fortunately America has escaped that nightmare thanks to Our Great Presidentís leadership and the Republicans who follow his every wim. Now families will have to pay every penny they owe to doctors like Bill Frisp and Tom Coburn (who is not a crazy bigot) when they kill somebody. That is the Republican culture of life, all right!

Bob Boudelang is a Republican team leader who would be happy to take donations for brain deadness. You can send them to

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