Time with Bob Boudelang
"Our Great President is on Vacation Again, So Every Thing Must Be All Right!!"
April 10, 2004
By Bob Boudelang, Angry American Patriot
Certainly I would hate to be a LIEberal Democrap Socialist Moran these days, with the economy going up in flames like a house afire and things going so well in Iraq, except for the fighting and the killing and the wounding.
In fact, things are going so well that George W. has gone on vacation to rest up and rehearse for his visit to the 9/11 commission with Our Great Vice President Dick Cheney, where they will appear together behind closed doors and not under oath and will censor the final report. And that is because he has nothing to hide as we saw from Concertina Rice's testimony.
Any idiots who think Hitlery is the smartest woman in Washington has just gotten serious proof that Hitlery has a long way to go to get to the level of intelligence of Concertina Rice. Would Hitlery of read a report that was titled "Bin Laden Determined to Attack Inside the United States" and said that it was "historical information based on old reporting" and done nothing at all? I do not think so, and neither do you.
George W. only had 223 days before we were attacked, and during that time he was busy telling the country how the Klintoon kool-aid drinkers trashed the White House. Plus he had to apologize to the Chinese people for them knocking down our spy plane, and hide all the things he was doing for Enron, and fight to give rich people the tax cuts they desperately needed. So he had no time to do anything about terrorism, which was his number one priority.
And Slick Willie did not do anything but swat flies, which Concertina said, "We decided immediately to continue pursuing the Clinton Administration's covert action authorities and other efforts to fight the network." So they did not, and the result was eight months of peace and quiet, during which Our Great President was able to take the entire month of August off.
You see, George W. was tired of swatting flies, although he did not swat any. So instead he let flies just flit everywhere, like the dumpster behind the fish market on a hot day, and then came up with a bold plan to attack Iraq, which you cannot prove he ever claimed had anything to do with September 11. And was it not a good joke about how there were no weapons of mass distraction even though George W. looked under desks? We Republicans still get a laugh out of that.
Speaking of Iraq, as Concertina Rice said, we "have to depend on intelligence agencies to tell you what is relevant." Fortunately, we have Our Great President, who knows that "relevant" does not mean "something to listen to." After all, if he had listened to intelligence agencies, he would not of been able to say that there was an imminent threat from Iraq, which you cannot prove he ever said either. And he would not be able to say the current trouble is all the fault of Al Sadder instead of a broad-based uprising if he listened to intelligence agencies. But no one has eve accused George W. of intelligence I am proud to say. Instead he is Our Great War President, showing the Iraqi people the meaning of democracy and freedom by saying "Bring them on."
And yes, they do seem to be bringing them on, but that just shows that the people we are fighting think George W. is a great leader worth listening to. And yes, they are Iraqis but they are anti-Iraqi, unlike our American soldiers and contractors who are pro-Iraqi. Get that straight!
But it would be premature to say that this is the end of the end of major combat operations or that the Mission Accomplished" sign that the Navy is to blame for was wrong. And once we get this guy Al Sadder we will be safe, the way we were when we got Sodom Husane and the before that when we got Oosy and Goosey, or whoever the hell the Sodom sons were.
So yes, we blew up a mosk, which is against the Geneva Convention, but this is no time for George W. to act civilized even if he was. These animals will never learn that savage violence does not solve anything unless we give it to them. After all, you do not hear any more threats from the tyrants of Grenada after me and Our Greatest President Ever Ronald Reagan taught them that lesson.
And so who cares if more soldiers have to go to Iraq to fight for nothing, or our soldiers have to stay there longer than expected again, as long as Our Great President can be Our Great War President. Support the troops by not asking questions about why they have to pay for their own body armor, or why the troops captured and tortured should not get the money they won in court, or what Halliburton gets out of it all.
Bob Boudelang is a Republican team leader who wishes he had a Concertina Rice action figure to go along with his action figure of Our Great President which he wishes still had its own head instead of the Barbie head that was glued on, and it is not a dolly dammit! If you would like to send him a Concertina Rice action figure or even better the money for one which would really go for a Concertina Rice action figure and not booze and slim jims and some cigarettes and an adult magazine, contact me at firstname.lastname@example.org.