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Equal Time with Bob Boudelang
Ha! Ha! Ha! Dumborat Morans! You Are Doomded!"
March 13, 2004
By Bob Boudelang, Angry American Patriot

Well, now the election season has begun in dead ernest and at last our Great President has taken the boxing gloves off and started swinging.

And already people are talking about his great campaign commercial, which is unfair to those of us who wanted to have a discussion about September 11 without bringing up George W. sitting motionless at a school reading to children until he jumped up to run and hide. Which he did not want to panic those children, and anyway he was not running because he was afraid but only to be safe. And anyway, people have forgot about him lying about Air Force One being a target, which was not a lie but a miss statement, so do not bring that up again! Gee wiz!

You would think the victims and the firemen would be proud of Our Great President using such a divine moment in his ad instead of saying ugly things like "molesting the dead" or "grave robbing." But then some people are never satisfied and always want more. They should be satisfied with great leadership and not ask who knew what and when, or why someone was on vacation for a whole month, or why nothing was done about terrorism between the inaugeration and 9/11, or why Concertina Rice will not testify, or when subpeenas are going to be issued, or other trivial matters.

And yes, he did not use real firemen in the ad, but that was to create jobs. Now some actors have been paid to pretend to be firefighters who support Bush, just as if there were really ones. And Dennis Miller is also hiring people to sit in his audience and pretend to laugh at his hilarious conservative jokes. So who says there are no jobs under the Bush economic miracle, accept for the economists, and what do they know?

Speaking of hilarious, who did not get a chuckle when they heard John F. Karey had the nerve to call Republicans the most crooked lying group he has ever seen. Really! Imagine calling Our Great President a crook and a liar!

Yes, George W. has been arrested and convicted and yes, he made millions while his businesses went bankrupt and yes, he said there were weapons of mass distraction in Iraq and there do not seem to be any, but those are all blood under the sand, as far as I am concerned. And you cannot prove any sort of payoff from Halliburton so do not even try to look. Really. Do not even try.

I think John F. Karey owes an apology, not just to honest hard-working Republicans like me, but honest non-crooked people like Dick Cheney, who you cannot prove got the energy task force case fixed when he went duck hunting at the private lodge of an oil millionaire with Judge Scalia.

And he owes an apology to Ken Lay, who has not got indicted and that is as good as being honest. And he owes an apology to Tom Delay, who is sinnonimous with honesty and fair play, even if you cannot prove those rumors about his daughter, the lobbyists and the hot tub.

What shocking disrespect for the office of the president John F. Karey shows! Back when Dan Burton said Slick Willy was a scumbag and Trent Lott said Klintoon was a rapist and Jim Hansen said he should be assassinated and Jesse Helms said Clinton "better watch out," it was all said with respect.

Even Mrs. Brown Rosenfeld, who is such a LIEberal extremist that she supports public schools and wants health care for everyone, was outraged when she heard me explain what John F. Karey had said and how I wanted to respond, and she even donated a sheet so I could paint my sign. And she had her son get a tractor and drag my trailer up to the front of the lot so people driving by would see it.

So now everybody driving by the DaisyView trailer park can see my trailer with a big sign on it that says "George W. Bush: Crooked Liar! Who is Not Outraged!" The Democrats are doomded when Mrs. Brown Rosenfeld endorses messages like mine.

And from the number of people who honk their horns or give a big thumbs up as they drive by, it is clear Our Great President will continue to have smooth sailing like he has so far, if you do not count all the problems.

And who is not proud of the way the Republican party is moving like a oily machine? Just last week, they all switched their votes from yes to no at the drop of a hat when the Natural Rifle Association told them to. They were trying to protect freedom and liberty by keeping crime victims and frivolous parties like Chicago from suing the gun industry. But when it appeared a fanatic band of Moderates and Liberals were going to add background checks at gun shows and other wild-eyed schemes, they moved in unicycle, like wild geese in flight or precision machinery, and voted down their own bill.

Now fresh from that triumph, the Republicans are going to reclassify jobs at fast food restaurants as manufacturing jobs, which will not make more of them or make them pay better but will seem like good news and make everybody who does not know any better more upbeat. And the GOP has introduced a bill to keep people from suing fast food manufacturers like McDonnells. Now when Ronald McDonnell sends them an email telling them to vote the bill down, the entire country will be impressed again!

The Demoncrats can not match that and will not even try. And that is why I think some people are going to be mighty surprised on election day, and not just because there will be trouble at the polls in Florida (and you will not be able to prove Jeb had anything to do with it, no matter how it looks). Amen!

Bob Boudelang is a proud Republican Team Leader who would not sue no matter how many Chicken McNubbins you bought him. If you want to invite him to McDonnells or even Taco Belle to see, you can send him an invitation at

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