Democratic Underground

Equal Time with Bob Boudelang

"So Long Almost Everybody But Concertina Rice, We Hardly Knew Ye!"

November 13, 2004
By Bob Boudelang, Angry American Patriot

Well, already the Second Successful Term of Our Great President is underway, and nothing could show what a success the first term was then the number of people who are leaving their jobs in such a hurry.

Pretty much every one is gone except Concertina Rice, who will take over Colon Powellís roll as Secretary of State and will soon be going around from country to country explaining to them what George W. means when he says stuff like "We thought we were protected forever from trade policy or terrorist attacks because oceans protected us." She will also explain that he does not mean anything when he walks around with his pants open.

Concertinaís first big test will be dealing with the mess in the Ukrain, where the election was a fraud. That is as plain as the nose on my face because the exit poles did not match the election results.

Secretary of Defensive Donald Rumfilled also has not been fired yet. So the two people who did so much to protect us all from terrorism (if you donít count September 11) and make the war with Iraq such a success (if you donít count the bombings and killings and corruption) will still be with us, do not fear.

However, our great Attorney General John "The Eagle is Sore" Ashcroft who is not a dangerous nut has left us. During his rain he protected America from such dangerous criminals as Marsha Stewart, Cat Stevens and either Cheech or Chong. And no, he did not get a single conviction of any actual terrorists but he did do a good job of protecting their Second Amendment rights when dragonian Democraps wanted to see if terrorists bought guns.

To show what a jenius Our Great President is, he is replacing John Ashcroft with a Mexican, which will mean the next Attorney General will do more work for less pay, and doesnít that help hardworking taxpayers like you?

Homely Secretary of Security Tom Ridge is also leaving, having given America a swell color chart and duct tape, which was not funny so stop that laughing! Without his important work, America would not of known that terrorists were about to attack every time Our Great Presidentís popularity went down in the poles.

Our new Homely Secretary of Security will be Bernard Carrot, who used to work for the king of Saudi Arabia and will be an inspiration to high school dropouts everywhere. And yes, he did swipe money while selling cigarettes in prison, but to be fair, there is hardly any cigarette sales in his new job.

Also Don Evans who they say was Commerce Secretary is leaving, and who can forget all he did to bring about the Bush Economic Miracle, what ever it was? He will also be replaced by a low paid Hispanish person, Carlos Gutierrez. And yes, Gutierrez threw hundreds of people out of work when he closed a cornflakes plant, but so what? Carlos made millions himself, and that is what is most important.

Meanwhile, Health Inhuman Cervix Secretary Tommy "Tommy" Thompson has stepped down after a job well done. And yes, while he was in office the country did not get flu vaccine, and yes, while he was in office the FD & A okayed drugs that were dangerous and then tried to hide the evidence that they were dangerous, and yes, while he was in office Medicare got screwed up and his department lied about how much it cost, but gee wiz! The man is only human, or so it seems.

And so now all of America can look forward to another four years of advances under the leadership of Our Great President and the Republican Party. Let us give them our full support as they work hard to make sure rat poison is no longer childproof or that teenagers are told fibs to prevent safe sex, or that millionaires can hide their money in places like the Cayman Island without paying tax.

You would think that even a diehard LIEberal socialist DemoncRAT like Mrs. Brown Rosenfeld would realize that it is time to shut up and knuckle under to Our Great Presidentís every wim, but no! It is still as bad as Communist Canada here at the Daisyview Trailer Park. For example, when George W. showed how sincere he was about reaching out to Democraps by going to the Klintoon library and not kicking or hitting any, I was so proud of him I cut this picture out and put it up on my trailer.

And she said "Guess Chelseaís not afraid of a little drip" and would not explain what she meant.

I celebrated Thanksgiving by putting up this picture.

And she said "Most people like him choke a chicken" and would not explain what she meant.

Well let her say whatever it is she says. I am proud to be a Republican team leader. Support Our Great President, as it says in the Bible, even when his pants are open, which could happen to anybody.

Bob Boudelang is a Republican Team Leader who has spent a great deal of time thinking about the direction this country should take in the next four years and was not just off getting drunk. He can be reached at

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