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Equal Time with Bob Boudelang

"I Am Off To The Republican Convention (Where I Am Sure I Will Get In Despite the Smell)"

August 28, 2004
By Bob Boudelang, Angry American Patriot

All right America! I hope everyone is as excited and gimpy as a schoolgirl over the upcoming Republican Natural Convention, which is coming up in the next upcoming week! Because I certainly am, and I donít care who knows it! (Although do not tell Secret Service Agent Brown, since I promised him I would not leave again without telling him. But he would probly tell me not to go if I did.)

Yes, soon I will board the trailer of a truck full of auto parts to head to the Republican Natural Convention, thanks to my friend Shifty Lenny who arranged it all. And I am sure they will let me in at the Convention even though the James Addiction T-Shirt still smells funny and so do the fish guts because I am a Republican Team Leader and respected conservative punjab. However, one good thing, is that even though Mr. Rabinowitz makes me stand in the alley and not in the fish store most of the day, the smell from the T-shirt keeps the cats away that used to attack me when I took out the fish guts. So another problem has been solved, just as if Our Great President had solved one.

And so even though there is so much to write about, like the underhanded way John Kerry is trying to pretend that those shadowy Swiss Boat veterans have anything to do with Our Great President just because his lawyer is their lawyer and so forth. I would not have put it past John Kerry to have put together a phony war record with fake medals and people who claim he saved their life just so he could get people who got caught lying to come out and say so, just so Kerry could make it seem like George W. and Dick Cheney had "something" to do with attacks on his war record. For shame, John Kerry! For shame!

Besides, the problem with those ads is not that they are being made by liars who used to meet with Our Formerly Great President Who Was Not A Crook Richard Nixon and plot to discredit John Kerry in 1971, or that they are paid for by somebody who is throwing a fundraising dinner for Bush during the Convention. It is all the fault of those shadowy 527s, which besides being shadowy and unAmerican by letting people speak out in public, are shadowy.

And yes, George W. did create those 527s when he signed the Campaign Finance bill, but Gee wiz! Who can blame him for that?

And Max Cleveland also ought to be ashamed of himself for attacking Our Great President by showing up in his wheelchair during Our Great Presidentís only vacation this week and trying to give him a letter urging George W. to say that the Swiss Boat ads should not be running. No wonder George did not come out to see him, which was not hiding because he was afraid to face Max Cleveland. Really. The reason George W. did not come out to meet Max Cleveland was not because Our Great President is any sort of coward. It is such a simple reason that it would be insulting your intelligence if I said what it was. So I will leave it that because I do not want to insult you. Or anything.

And there is so much else to talk about, like the latest good news in Iraq, or the Bush economic miracle or the good news about health care.

But sadly it seems, not everyone is happy with Our Great President and willing to get down on their knees and obey his every wim. And much of the unrest comes from a certain element, if you know what I mean, which "some people" refer to as gayo-Americans, but you know who I mean. And they have attacked Our Great President with a vicious lie by putting out a shirt saying George W. Bush is a homie!

Can you believe it! Bush a homie!

Well, I guess some people are stupid enough to think some people will believe anything. But I think anyone who sees some smart alex wearing one of these shirts ought to go up and give them a good big laugh, because that is all they deserve. So there!

Well, I hear the horn blowing outside, so I am going to sign off now and head for the convention! See you in Philadelphia!

Bob Boudelang is a Republican Team Leader who can be reached at and I am coming! Hold your horses! Sheesh!

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