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Equal Time with Bob Boudelang
"Forget the Sex Scandal and the Cursing - It Is the Democraps Who Are Wide-Eyed!!
June 26, 2004
By Bob Boudelang, Angry American Patriot

At last the lid of the truth of the whole story has been ripped off by us Republicans and the entire world can see what wide-eyed raving fanatics those moderate and liberal Democraps really are!

Imagine comparing George W. to Hitler out loud! Yes, Our Great President DID dress up in a military uniform to celebrate a war for no reason against a country that had not attacked us and he DID torture people to death, but gee wiz! Is that any reason to be rude?

It is heartening to those of us like me who have a fanatical devotion to Our Great President to see he is hitting back again before the DemocRats do. The last ad for George W. had Ronald Reagan in it and this one has Hitler in it! Maybe the next one will have Jesus in it saying "Vote for George W. or go to H-e-double hockey pucks!" At least that is what I hope.

And that is why every true American who goes to the poles this November to vote will vote for the Republicans who curse and have kinky sex and not the wide-eyed democraps who do not. And that is because we Republicans curse and go to sex clubs with honor and dignity and family values and optimism. And by sex clubs, of course I mean the Great Almost Senator from Indiana or Someplace Like That who was unfairly railroaded out of office before he could be elected to it, just because he made his wife go to sex clubs so other people could watch. I mean gee wiz, it is not like she is anything but an actress.

Does this look like the face of a man who does anything indecent?

And yet he is now under the sheets in disgrace while Slick Willy Klintoon is making millions for his "so-called" book. Friends, the hippocracy is amazing, isnšt it?

But at least Our Great Almost Senator has Resigned With Honor so he could spend more time with his family, if he still had one. And I do not care what socialist Democraps and other perverts say, I myself would be proud to go with him to a sex club any time, as long as he understood I only wanted to watch and he paid.

Especially the one with the whips and chains. Not that torture is all right, even if the memos say so. But Rush Limbaugh says it is harmless fun and that is good enough for me, as long as I can watch and don't have to have any.

And by cursing, yes, I meant Our Great Vice President Dick Cheney who has not been indicted yet, did curse at Senator Leaky (haha) in the Senate, but he deserved it because Leaky had the nerve to mention Halliburton in public.

What an outrage it is that the same people who are pretending that there is no link between Sodom Husane and Alkaheeda just because there is no evidence are also pretending that there is some sort of link between Halliburton and Dick Cheney just because he is still on their payroll and Halliburton got billions of dollars worth of no-bid contracts and somebody in Cheney's office wrote a memo approving the deals. Gee wiz, better put some more tin in your foil hat before you start spreading these wide-eyed theories like firebrant moderates and LIEberals do!

It is a crying shame that a tiny minority want to derail the progress that has been made so far in this country. For one thing, Our Great President is on the verge of handing over sovrinity in Iraq to someone over there next week, assuming they live until then.

For another thing, the Supremes on the Court have ruled that Our Great Vice President can keep the people he met with from Enron a secret, so no-one can prove he met with Enron. Nothing to see here, move along.

And Our Great Health Inhuman Services Secretary Tommy "Tommy" Thompson has announced a swell new plan where one out of every ten lucky people with cancer will actually get medicine for it! What could be fairer than a lottery like that?

Perhaps Mrs. First Lady Bush (who only killed that one guy and I wish you would not bring that up) will dress up in an evening gown like Vanilla White and read the numbers off the ping-pong balls on national TV, so people at home can find out whether they are going to die or not.

But there will be 50,000 lucky winners. Of course, they will still have to pay for the drugs, but at least they will be able to, assuming they will be able to.

Wala! You would not of had an exciting game like that with DemocRats in charge. I think we all know that.

Sadly, that kind of thinking is not enough for our wide-eyed LIEberal running-dog yellow media journalism, which is suing to get Our Great President's National Guard records instead of talking about how John Scarey faked his war wounds and got a Silver Star he did not deserve when he was hiding from the draft by volunteering for Viet Nam.

Speaking of wide-eyed "blame America first" hatemongers, nobody at all wants to see Michael Moore's new propaganda film, which is why it makes real American patriots like me sick to see the lines at the movies. There are even longer lines for this one than there were for the last film of his that nobody wanted to see. I do not know why he does not move to the country formerly known as France as Alex Baldwin promised he would do.

It is a disgrace that in the land of the free that this "person" should be allowed to say what he wants, and that even blocking distribution of the film and hiring PR agencies to conduct letter-writing campaigns and sending death threats to theater owners and trying to get the government to stop the ads for it leaves us Republicans powerless to stop him.

And the saddest part of all is that like the 9/11 commission it could easily have been averted. But no.

I asked my friend Kenny who used to be in my malicious but now is the Ku Klux Klan if he would like to help me protest Michael Moore's unAmerican film at the Lowe's Amblyopia downtown. But his mom would not drive him as she wanted to stay home and watch the Crocodile Humper on the T and V, and Kenny will not take the bus anymore since the time on election day we had a little problem. As if it is my fault he has asthma and hammer toes and cannot run away like I can. Crikey!

So I took the bus myself, and I thought I would wear my hood like the guy at Abu Ghariff so people would remember what Our Great President did there which was no worse than a fraternity plank. Also I thought it would help me get in since there was a contratomp last time when I tried to see the Passion of Mel Gibson. And it was utterly unwarranted I must say, because how did theater manager know that wasn't a real student ID when I kept my thumb over the picture? (For that matter, how did he know that wasn't me when I was younger and a girl? I still think it is ageism and sexistism at work)

Well, the bus driver would not let me wear my hood on the bus, and then I left it when I reached the stop. It was my plan to sit there until the half way part and then demand my money back in a dramatic protest. But I could hardly help myself from shouting out "Our Great President is not a liar!" soon after the movie started.

Unfortunately, some dedicated leftists sitting behind me complained that they could not hear what the donkey was saying to the green giant (a donkey - tell me that is not a hint that this was Democrap propaganda of the worst sort) and the ushers threw me out in the street like yesterday's noose.

And worst of all, the manager would not give me my money back. And so I had to walk home all that way. And it rained. But at least I was not wide eyed. So there!

Bob Boudelang is a Republican Team Leader and military veteran who will punch Michael Moore in the nose if you hold him and this cold from the wet sock where my shoe has a hole goes away. He can be reached at

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