Equal Time with Bob Boudelang
"It's Haspa Nabisco to Californnia, Baby!!"
October 18, 2003
By Bob Boudelang, Angry American Patriot

Who is not glowing with pride like an oiled naked muscleman in the sun with the news that Arnold Schwartzenabor is the new governor of California? Well, not Democrap Californios, that's for sure. But let them wine and snivel that now the state is being run by somebody with no experience except pretending to do stuff and posing with baby oil on. They make that sound like a bad thing! Imagine!

But the rest of us cannot help but be inspired by the Arnold Swatzeneeber story. He arrived in this country from his native Australia as a poor but penniless immigrant. And now he is governor of California and will soon take away drivers licenses from other immigrants. Who says America is not the land of opportunistry?

But instead of being the bad sort of immigrant who put his kids in public schools and demands minimum wages, he was the good kind of immigrant who posed almost naked on stage in front of other men who liked to look at that sort of thing, which is not in the least homo or sexual, and if you did not have a dirty mind you would know that.

And now he will "be back" to the capital in San Diego, even though he has never been in office before. And let us hope the Turbinator will be as affective as he was when he said he would be back in the movies, just before he killed all those cops and burned down the police station.

Sad to say someone who will not be back is Rush Limbaugh who is not a racist or a drug addict, so stop saying that. And he did not get fired, but quit with honor, like Newt Gingrich.

It is a sad sign of the moral quagmiler that America has begun when a fine person like Rush who is not a junkie cannot call a jigaboo a spade without the LIEberal media jumping down his throat.

And make no mistake. There would not be as many Negro quarterbacks as there are if it was not for Liberals. Nor would there be as many blacko-American doctors and lawyers and businessmen without the help of liberals. Everybody knows that. I think even black people would admit that, if you knew any.

But only patriots like Rush and me have the guts to point it out in public, like a white man would. That is not because we are racist, so stop saying that. Next you will say that Republican in Texas who told a Hispanish-American woman to stop acting like a Mexican did something wrong.

And yes, Rush has admitted he is a pill addict, but then he never denied it either. But will Democraps treat this great broadcaster the way he has treated so many others who life has handed hardship or problems? You could hope so but I am afraid it will not be so.

Poor Rush. He is just another victim of the politics of personal discussion.

Meanwhile, now that his job is open I hope all of you from EPSM who are reading this will consider ME. As you can see, I am as football-savvy as Rush, if not even more savv, and I will not quit even if you make me sit next to one of the black guys. And I am sure the fish smell will go away after a few weeks.

Please call here at the Daisyview Trailer Park, which is worse than Red Canada. I think Mrs. Brown Rosenfeld will be as glad to have me go as I will be to escape, which I cannot do because one of the wheels has fell off my trailer, which is why it leans over like that. I also think her son is the one who is throwing those eggs.

There was another ugly scene here just today, I am sad to report. I had been at the library (where I am too allowed in despite the fishy smell) where I had been excited to read about General Boynkin, who is helping Christians beat the Muslins because our God is bigger than theirs. He said many of the things I have been saying all along, so there.

For instance, this was in the story:

This summer, Boykin was promoted to deputy undersecretary of defense, with a new mission for which many say he is uniquely qualified: to aggressively combine intelligence with special operations and hunt down so-called high-value terrorist targets including bin Laden and Saddam.

Boykin also routinely tells audiences that God, not the voters, chose President Bush: "Why is this man in the White House? The majority of Americans did not vote for him. Why is he there? And I tell you this morning that he's in the White House because God put him there for a time such as this."

I was so excited to read this that I printed it out (yes I used a real quarter) and showed it to Mrs. Brown Rosenfeld. Do you know what she said? She said, "Yeah, being able to brown nose that outrageously with a straight face is a unique qualification, all right."

I was furious and started to tell her she was a Satan-appeaser when her savage watchdog Cujo seized Our Great Toy President and ran off with him again. I think she trained that dog to do that.

This time when I found my George W. Fighting Action Figure that you cannot prove I did not buy and lose the receipt for, his little head was chewed right off. Secret Service Agent Brown promised he would fix it, and I was not crying, either.

But what Secret Service Agent Brown did was glue the head from one of the Barbie Dolls that Mrs. Brown Rosenfeld's niece had outgrown on Our Great Toy President. So now, yes, George W. has a head but he looks like a girl and not manly.

I am almost ashamed to carry it around in public now. What I did for a wile was walk around shouting "George W. is not a girly man," and "He lost his real head," but people began to point and throw things.

It is especially sad to have the wrong head on Our Great Toy President at a time when things are going so well in Iraq, which people would know if not for those filters and the soldiers getting killed and wounded and all. Why do people pay attention to a few crybabies wining about missing husbands and fathers and brothers and sons and the like and ignore good news, like exterminators in Texas getting $125,000 contracts to spray for bugs in Baghdad? I think you know why: LIEberal hate and intolerance.

Fortunately the Natural Rifle Association and Charlatan Heston have put together a list of people to hate for patriotic Americans like myself who love guns. It is filled with shrill extremist hate mongers like Hallmark Cards and Jane Pauley.

It also has the Kansas City Chiefs football team. But some idea of what extremists they are is that they are anti-gun even though it was not them but the Pittsburgh Steelers who had a player get shot. Imagine being such a busybody that somebody else getting shot for nno reason would bother you! No wonder us patriots hate them.

Finely, pay no attention to the problems about leaks, since no-one can prove yet that any CIA agents got killed by the leak. Our great president is going to stamp them out, according to unnamed sources, and I am not making that up.

Bob Boudelang is a Republican Team Leader who did not shoplift Our Great Toy President and is too allowed back in the toy store. I just choose not to go, that's all.