Equal Time with Bob Boudelang
"Ho Ho Ho! Trent Lott Is No Racist and Anyway Who Can Deny He Was Right?!?"
December 13, 2002
By Bob Boudelang, Angry American Patriot

Who is not offended at the bigoted way the LIEberal running yellow dog media lackeys are creating a phony uproar just "because" Trent Lott said a few things to offend a handful of blacko-Americans? I mean, really, does everything have to not offend the rabid tiny pro-integration crowd and their PC feelings?

What is terrible is that it has managed to overslobber all the good news coming from Our Great President and his great Administration which is not a dismal failure in every way.

For example, George W. has selected the famous and successful business personnel John Snow to be our new Treasury Secretary. Snow replaces Paul O'Neill who was fired but not because the economy is a disaster so stop saying that. I was so excited by this that I could hardly keep from telling everyone. I even put up a picture of the ceremony where he was named on the wall at the Fish Store, and Mr. Rabinowitz wrote on it "The eyes are the mirror to the soul." When I asked him to explain he told me to take out the fish guts, which is how I got these new scratches from the cats.

Snow made $50 million while his company did not do well, and I do not know how much more successful an executive you can be than that. And yes, he nearly sank the railroad with the debt he ran up, but that will be good practice for Our Great President's budget.

And despite what Mrs. Rosenfeld says, Snow does not look like the Creature From the Black Lagoon. I do not know where she gets these ideas sometimes!

Our Great President also named William Donaldson instead of me as Security Exchange Conspirator to replace Harvey Pits who was fired but not because the economy is a disaster, no matter what you say. He is a good choice since who knows more about corporate fraud from the inside than him, being part of one and all? He will do a good job keeping the Harken and Halliburton files away from people and reporters.

George W. also fired his economic advisor Lawrence Lindsey but not because the economy is a disaster, which you cannot prove so do not try and any way it is Clinton's fault. He has not replaced him yet but I hope it will be me or Ken Lay.

Kenny-boy knows all about economics and is already familiar with the ins and outs at the White House, having been in for many months until Enron hit the headlines and he had to go out. Still now everyone has forgotten about that except a few soreheads in California. Cut some wine to go with that cheese!

I have no background in economic matters but I will be a loyal supporter of Our Great President and I am sick of the smell of fish, which will go away in a week or two. Also George W. has two dogs, which will keep away those cats.

Speaking of dogs, who was not surprised and delighted to see Our Great First Lady Laura Bush, who only killed that one ex-boyfriend, in the news, and not talking about her daughters drinking either. She is honoring Our Great Pets of Our Great Presidents in the White House this year, and even though only important people are allowed to see it, and not the scum of the earth like you and me, it is still heart-worming.

And yes, Laura Bush did not honor the Klintoon's pets in the White House, but that is not because she is a petty bitch, no matter what Mrs. Rosenfeld says.

Meanwhile a judge that George W. had named threw out the lawsuit against Dick Cheney but not because the fix was in. He said there was no president about Congress suing the White House to find out who they met with behind closed doors while there was alleged price-gouging that some of those people have allegedly pled guilty to, and an energy crisis going on, which might come back again now that the DemocRATS do not control the Senate.

It is important, especially now that Emeril Poindexter (who was only convicted that once) is looking at everybody's in the country's secrets, that the White House not be distracted by having to explain what they talked about when they secretly met with Ken Lay. Otherwise it will be like the terrorists have won, and not because Our Great President is in cahoots with Osama and the anthrax killer.

Speaking of Osama and the anthrax killer, which no one is so stop fussing about that, what better proof could their be of how devious and dangerous to us Sodom Husane is than him turning in the report on his weapons of mass distraction on time before the deadline. Worse yet, it was 1,300 pages long because he had the ordasity to tell who sold him weapons and when and how they were destroyed! Fortunately, Our Great President had the presents of mind to take the report and censor it, so the rest of the U of N could not see it.

For a moment it looked like that other hotbed of Muslin fanatacism from the Axle of Evil, North Korea was selling Scud missiles to Iraq, but they were not. North Korea was selling missiles to Yemen and so Our Great President let them go ahead and do it. I blame the Spaniels for the mess, which shows they should stay in Spain where the belong.

It is time we put our foot down and stopped pretending that Iraq is not a menace just because neighboring countries say it is not and the weapons inspectors say it has no weapons and we are patrolling the skies above that country nonstop. Rome was not burnt in a day, after all. How is the American public going to learn what a Great Wartime President George W. Bush is, if he cannot find an excuse to have a war he can win easily? Do you want to have a war with Pakistan or Saudi Arabia instead, where there might be problems?

And who was not excited to know that an aircraft carrier will be named after The Great Father Of Our Great President! And it will not be called the One Terminator, either, but the George H. W. Bush. This is a great honor, and it shows no one can actually prove that George W.'s father was a coward when he panicked and jumped out of his plane leaving others to die in World War 2.

The Air Force will also name a cargo plane after Strom Thurmond as well, and put seats in the back for the black pilots.

Which leads us back to this brew-ha-ha just because Trent Lott wanted to honor a man who fought against black people all his life.

Strom Thurmond fought all his life to keep blacko-Americans out of decent people's neighborhoods and jobs and schools and voting places and so has Trent Lott. What's more, everyone knows it too. Who can deny we would not have heard the complaints about Republicans trying to keep black people from voting in the last election if they could not vote in the first place? That is the sort of problems Trent Thurmond could have prevented and which Strom Lott meant, and yet the newspapers and TV do not mention that!

Why even Jesse Helms says Trent Lott's remarks are not racist? Now who would know better than Jesse Helms?

Even Our Great President was forced to knuckle under to these PC tyrants. "Any suggestion that a segregated past was acceptable or positive is offensive and it is wrong," George W. Bush said, even though he had just stood there and grinned when Trent Lott said it.

Let me ask you this. How come no one was offended when Slick Willy Clinton honored William Fulbright? Conservative black people who never make a fuss like Concertina Rice and Colon Powell would have been just as offended by that if someone had told them to be, even if they never mentioned it until now. Yes, Slick Willy did not say he wished that Fulbright's racism had prevailed, and yes, he mentioned that it was wrong, but that is what makes Klintoon so sinister. It is time for Dan Burton to get to the bottom of that!

And what about Robert Byrd. Who used to be in the Ku Klux Klan. Yes he denounced the group years ago, and now civil rights groups say he works hard for civil rights, but look at the sort of person who belongs to those groups? If you compare Robert Byrd to Strom Lott or Trent Thurmond, you would find out the truth.

People at the CheapMart store would know the truth too, if they had come to sit on Santa's lap, but very few kids wanted to, and those that did wanted to yammer about what toys they wanted instead of listening to the truth about Our Great President and the turnaround he has caused in This Great Country of his. Skip, the night manager at the CheapMart, says that it is because no-one wants to see a Santa who is all scratched up and smells like fish angrily mumbling to himself, but his mind has been corrupted by LIEberal college professors and he is just bitter because he cannot find a better job.

I will work on him, perhaps with a positive attitude like mine, he will. In the meantime perhaps he will let me borrow a gun from the Sporting Goods department in case of shoplifters or an attack by Alkaheeda terrorists. We can only hope.

Bob Boudelang is a Republican Team Leader who would rather have eight tiny reindeer than these damn cats, which some of them are in heat. You can send him your Xmas wishes at [email protected].