Equal Time with Bob Boudelang
Our Great President Promised Osama Would Be Dead or Alive — And Now He Is! "
November 15, 2002
By Bob Boudelang, Angry American Patriot

Who is not proud of the way that Our Great President has ignored Osama Bin Laden all these months? Even the news that Osama Bin Laden is alive and has put out a new tape recording has not made George W. Bush do anything.

Our Great President has kept his eyes firmly fixated on not appeasing Sodom Husane instead of wasting time on someone who has been margarine-alized as Osama and his Alkaheeda have been.

Fortunately we have people like our Great Attorney General John "The Eagle is Sore" Ashcroft, who is not a dangerous nut, working on the case, so that when Osama said, "Just like you kill us, we will kill you," they will analyze the tape to find out what he really means. "What might be signaled in the wording of the tape?" Our Great Attorney General wondered out loud the other day, and that does not mean he is an idiot either.

And yes the terrorist "chatter" is at the same high level that it was before September 11. But that does not mean that Our Great President was lying when he said that they struck without warning. What it means is that when he does not do anything again and they strike this time, we will have to redouble our efforts to blame Slick Willy Klintoon for it.

Besides, we now have the fine color warning system that our Great Homely Director of Security Tom Ridge, who has not got fired yet, drew up, so that when it is too late to say "Red Alert," we will know it was a Red Alert we should have had and not a Chartroose or Lavender Alert. Now are you not glad that no-one asked Homely Director Ridge where the $38 billion he spent went?

And you cannot prove that Osama released this tape after the elections because he and Our Great President are in cahoots. So do not even try, and do not bring up the Bushes and Bin Ladens working together, since hardly anyone knows or cares. And that is why there is no reason to have a public hearing into September 11, as it is all blood over the damn.

Meanwhile it is good to see that George W. is not falling for the latest sinister plot by Saddam to allow weapons inspectors in and is going ahead with his plan to have a war with Iraqand take away all the oil. And yes, the U.S. Bishops said the war was immoral, but what do you expect from people who are not saved?

Fortunately, responsible religious leaders like Jack Van Impe know that George W. starting a war with Iraq will bring about the end of the world that was prophesied in the Bible. We can all look forward to that!

It would be a shame if we were "distracted" from that happy day by some phony scandal like the one about Janet Renchquist, the daughter of our Great Chief Justice Renchquist who you cannot prove got her job as a payoff for Our Great President being appointed. Yes, Janet fired 19 senior executives who were rooting out fraud and kept a gun in her office, but what is crazy or crooked about that? And yes, she held back the audit of the Florida pension plan which lost $300 million on Enron until after Our Great Brother of the President was re-elected, but do people not realize that might have caused problems? I mean, really!

It is scary to think that some people are suspicious of our fine Republican Party officials just because some voting machines in New Jersey would not let people vote for DemocRats, or some voting machines in Texas accidentally said the Republican who should of won did instead of the Democrap who should not of won, or three Republican candidates in the same local election each won by exactly 18,181 votes. I guess it is the Gassy Noel society at work.

Enclosing let me just point out the great plan by some right wing intellectuals to attack Canada so they will stop embarassing our great country by being peaceful and having their own ideas and working with the United Nations. After all how will they ever know they have enemies if we do not blow them up?

Bob Boudelang is a Republican Team Leader who wouldn't smell like that except for the fish. He can be reached at bobboudelang@yahoo.com.