Time with Bob Boudelang
For Strom Thurmond, The Hero of Right Wingers Like Me Who
You Cannot Prove Are Bigots!!"
December 6, 2002
By Bob Boudelang, Angry American Patriot
is about time that all of America celebrated what a great
white person Strom Thurmond has been now that it is his 100th
birthday and he still seems to be alive. I think his birthday
should be made a public holiday, so there! After all, the
black people have had the Martin Luther King holiday for tolerance
and it is about time we had one for the opposite!
That is only justice. After all, we are talking about the
man who proved that Harry Truman integrated the Armed Forces
because Truman was a communist. Who can forget how bravely
this great Senator fillibustered for 47 days just to keep
Negroes from voting? Later he knocked down another Senator
to keep him from oppressing white people by voting for civil
rights. That is a fighter to be proud of!
Just a few years ago, all of America was excited to see him
ring his little bell to impeach Slick Willie Klintoon. How
happy and awake he looked! And I am sure he did not smell
too bad, either. Yes, Slick Willy was not thrown in jail do
to a legal technicality (He has relied all his life on legal
technicalities like "no evidence of wrongdoing) but that was
not Strom Thurmond's fault.
In his career, he has cast more than 15,000 votes, and you
cannot prove all of them were "No." And unlike radical "do
something" Congresspersonalities like sHrillary or Dasshole,
he has never sponsored any laws that anyone knows of. That
is conservatism in action, doing nothing!
Contrast that with the ordasity of LIEberalism! Just the
other day, Senator Kerry had the nerve to suggest
that a tax break be given to workers instead of the rich people!
Does he not see the Bush economic miracle breaking out like
a fever all around him? Does he not realize that if million
dollar inheritances are taxed again, we run the risk of sliding
back to things as they were before George W. was named president?
Besides, Kerry has expensive haircuts.
Meanwhile who is not proud that instead of the Democraps
tired old ideas and washed-up losers like Mondale and Lautenburg,
the Republicans can offer exciting new dynamos like Henry
Kissinger? He will do an excellent job making sure that the
probe into the September 11 attacks will not get bogged down
into irrelevant side issues like the warning memos Our Great
President covered up, or why there were only four
fighter planes on the East Coast, or the Bush family being
in business with the Bin Ladens. Instead it will focus on
what we can learn about future attacks and why they will be
Bill Clintoon's fault.
It is disgusting to see some people calling Henry Kissinger
a war criminal just because he is wanted by four countries.
Yes, he helped overthrow the govenrment in Chile
and murder their ambassador here, but that was a long time
ago and I am sure you will not be able to prove he would do
Meanwhile, could there be any better demonstration of how
untrustworthy Muslins are than the announcement by Alkaheeda
that they would strike us again? "Oh American people, you
are the victim of your leaders, but you are also a partner
in the war on us. The gift
for the holiday is on its way," they said. Could there be
any better proof that they are ignorant savages? Do they not
know that they have been margarinealized by Our Great President?
Do they not know that Our Homely Director of Security Tom
Ridge, who has not been fired yet, has said we are only at
The world has moved on, but these backward primitive camel
jockeys do not understand. They are so "last year" as the
cool kids say. Now the only war that matters is our upcoming
War with Sodom Husane where we are not stealing oil but liberating
the Iraq people by dropping bombs on them.
It is just like our jenius president says, "They hate our
freedom." And why not? Every day we are becoming more free.
Now, for example, American citizens are free to get killed
by the CIA without a trial or any other inconvenience if Our
Great President says so secretly. Back when our Four Fathers
wrote the Constitution they would scarcely of thought of changes
There is no question every American had a lot to be thankful
for this Thanksgiving thanks to George W. Federal workers
did not get raises, unemployed people will lose their benefits
at Christmastime, and right wingers will get big raises
for being right wing. It is sure different than the dreary
years of peace and prosperity that the Dumbocrats gave us.
Thank goodness the country has had enough of their dictatorial
attempts at progress and tolerance. An example of their meddling
ways is that Mrs. Rosenfeld put a plate of turkey and sweet
potatoes and stuffing and gravy and corn outside my trailer
on Thanksgiving Day without asking me did I want it or not.
A conservative would never of done that, and we all know it
Give a man a fish and he will eat fish, but teach a man to
fish and he will eat even more fish (and never worry about
cancer from the pollution since that is just treehugging ecowhacko
hysteria junk science). Not that I had a fish, but Mrs. Rosenfeld
did not know that.
In fact, I am getting sick of fish, not to mention cats,
and it is horrible to report that although Mrs. Rosenfeldıs
vicious watchdog Cujo will not let me on the porch he will
not chase away those cats that follow me everywhere either.
They would of ate my turkey if Mrs. Rosenfeld's son had not
turned the hose on them earlier in the day.
However, I am thinking of leaving the fish market in search
of brighter horizons of hope and promise, and am glad to report
that thanks to the Bush economic miracle I got a part-time
job at the CheapMart store as Santa Claus for this holiday
season and maybe longer. I cannot wait to see the little tykes'
grimy faces as I tell them about Our Great President and what
they can look forward to if they grow up.
Ho ho ho!
Bob Boudelang is a Republican Team Leader who is easily
mistaken for Kris Krinkle, especially at CheapMart. You can
send him your Christmas wish at firstname.lastname@example.org.
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