Democratic Underground  

Equal Time with Bob Boudelang
Another Week of Triumphs For Our Great President If You Don't Count the Shootings, the Economy or the North Koreans!"
October 18, 2002
By Bob Boudelang, Angry American Patriot

What a triumphant and great week it was for Our Great President who is working miracles bringing this country back to what it once was if you don't count the sniper and the economy and some other things that only the moderates and the LIEberals and the tree huggers and the gays and the blacks and the femiNazis and the Hispanish and the Orientals and the gun-grabbers and the union sympathizers and the human rights mongers and the public school pimps and the atheists and the Jewish leftists and the appeasers and the sixties values crowd and the rest of that tiny minority care about.

And yes, the Maryland sniper is still at large and there are new snipers in New York and Ohio, but that does not mean our Homely Director of Security Tom Ridge, who has not got fired yet, is a complete failure, or that Congress should ask what happened to the $38 billion he spent. That is just blood under the damn, like the anthrax killer we have all forgotten about, and we should let bygones be bygones and concentrate on what is really important: how Bill Clinton is responsible for all the problems we have now. After all, who is ex-president? I ask you?

After all, even the head of the CIA says Alkaheeda will strike at home again, and not because George W. and Osama are in cahoots and trying to arrange something for the election, so do not even say that. Which does not mean Our Great President was a liar when he said they were margarine-alized and no the run. After all, he did not say they were not running toward us again.

But instead, the leftist running dog lackey yellow lickspittle hysterical media keeps harping on guns as if they are the reason the sniper is able to shoot people. Really! Do they not realize that if guns were registered the jackbooted thugs would even now have been breaking down the door and found him hiding in the closet like little Eennie-o in Miami?

Do we want to live in that kind of country? Or do we want to live in the country Our Great President and Our Great Attorney General John Ashcroft (who is not a dangerous nut) want to have, where we are just waiting for somebody who knows the guy or someone like him to turn him in via an enonimus telephone tip? That is the American way, all right.

What is worse is the fear that this could cause a "do something" Congress to actually take action and create a ballistic database. This could lead to the horror of gun control like they have in communist Australia or red Canada. Fortunately George W. is going to only have a study which he can forget about. That is real action, Republican-style!

But America is still beset by enemies of freedom like the Demoncrats, who underhandedly voted to give George authority to go to war in Iraq instead of being unpatriotic in public. Do they not realize there is an election coming up? How will Americans do the right thing and elect Republicans if the DemocRats do not cooperate? Is that the spirit of togetherness? No, it is Democrats being divisive by acting reasonable.

That is why the war with Iraq has gone to the back burner while George W. has gone to raise money for the Great Brother of the President, Jeb

To make matters worse, now we have that other hotbed of radical Muslinism, North Korea, announcing that it has nuclear weapons just a few months after Our Great President gave them money for a nuclear program and pulled out arms inspectors. Fortunately that was in April and nobody cared then. Of course now it shows the failure of Bill Clinton again.

Still things are looking up from sea to shiny sea if you don't count California, Illinois and New Jersey and the other states where democrats will win.

Plus I have a new job at Mr. Rabinowitz's Fish Market, proof positive of the Bush economic miracle and not just because he is Mrs. Rosenfeld's cousin and her son makes me work there to catch up with the rent so stop saying that. Anyway, he is not so tough and I would tell him so if not for my bad back.

You would think someone would care about a wounded veteran who helped The Great Ronald Reagan protect America from the Tyrants of Grenada by catching a round in the ass from friendly fire but no! Instead I am being forced to put ice on the fish and put the fish guts in the dumpster out back and fight off the alley cats while I do so.

What is worst is that when I go out into the alley to not goof off and drink but to meditate on the Greatness of Modern Conservative Thought, the cats attack me because I smell like fish, so I have to stay in the store where we cannot listen to Rush Limbaugh on the radio but have to hear violin music all day.

But still I will carry on. The blood of patriot guns cries out for freedom, as Thomas Jefferson should have said, and no amount of cats can stop me. Not even the big mean yellow one.

Bob Boudelang is a Republican Team Leader, and who would not be surprised if that scratch is getting infected. He can be reached at

Read Bob's Other Rebuttals

Printer-friendly version
Tell a friend about this article Tell a friend about Bob Boudelang
Discuss this article
Democratic Underground Homepage