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Yellow Alert! Yellow Alert! Yellow Alert! Yellow Alert! Yellow Alert! Yellow Alert! Yellow Alert! Yellow Alert! Yellow Alert!'"
September 27, 2002
By Bob Boudelang, Angry American Patriot

Yellow Alert!

Who is not relieved to hear that Our Great President George W. Bush has downloaded from Orange Alert! to Yellow Alert!? Well, not Mr. Munchino at the barbershop, who refused to let me put up a yellow flag to let everyone know it was safe for his customers to go back to their humdrum meaningless lives. As a result I had to wear the yellow woman's scarf that signifies Yellow Alert! (which I did too pay for even if I do not have the receipt) just as I did at the bus station, although I got called names by the guys who hang around listening to the race results and telling dirty jokes at the barbershop.

Still the tree of liberty is watered with the blood of patriot guns, as Thomas Jefferson should of said.

And Mrs. Rosenfeld just snickered when I told her.

But I was glad to hear that the Orange Alert! that had been called by Our Great Attorney General to warn that Alkaheeda was about to attack America in Indonesia or Malaysia was no longer in force, and not because the Alkaheeda actually did set off a car bomb in Indonesia anyway.

So now we are back to Yellow Alert! and we should only panic a little. Something may happen sometime somewhere, but at least we will know that Our Great President has warned us in advance and is not covering up warnings, not that he was doing that before, no matter what the stories in the newspaper said.

This ought to be the time when we rise up and follow Our Great President's swell new doctrine of striking first wherever we feel like it. Today Iraq, Tomorrow the World! But instead, we have the DemocRATS quibbling and asking questions instead of falling into line.

Al Bore even had the nerve to openly question our swell new war against Sodom Husane by saying we should go after Osama Bin Laden first. Does he not know that George W. has said Osama has been margerinalized and that nobody cares any more where he is? It is almost as silly as pretending that anyone cares about the anthrax terrorist anymore. Those two are long forgotten and they should stay that way.

Really. Al Bore must think that just because he got half a million more votes than our Great President did, people care what he thinks. Well, they don't. So there.

And then Tom Dasshole had the nerve to demand a public apology from George W. just because Our Great President courageously pointed out that Democraps care nothing for public safety and the defense of this great land of his.

If they did they would let George W. have the Homeland Security Department he used to be against but now is for, without rights or benefits for the people who work in it. And they would get down on their knees and let George W have his war with Iraq instead of asking for evidence or asking what we will do after we push Sodom out. Like George knows or cares. He doesn't and neither do we.

As Our Great President says "We will speak with one voice soon." And then we will not be saying "NO" like we are now.

Meanwhile it was sad to note that Strom Thurmond made what might be his last speech as a Senator proving that he was not dead yet, and it was touching to see that the newspapers did not mention how he smelled. He has been a great Senator ever since he showed how Harry Truman was a communist agent for integrating the armed forces.

The other day, Our Great President said, "People say, how can I help on this war against terror? How can I fight evil? You can do so by mentoring a child; by going into a shut-in's house and say I love you."

Well, I thought that was a good idea and decided to put it in action. But the only shut-in I know of in this neighborhood is Old Mrs. Henderson, and when I went to tell her I loved her she raised holy hell and accused me of breaking in and stealing her radio (which I was only looking at). All I can say is that it is a good thing she does not know my name or where my trailer is. And the police came and warned me about approaching children. So I guess there is a lot more work to do before we get to George Bush's America, but we will keep fighting on. Amen!

Bob Boudelang is a Republican team leader and it just looks like the radio that old crazy woman had, honest.
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