Democratic Underground

Equal Time with Bob Boudelang
"Trade Is the Economy, So You Cannot Prove Our Great President Was Drunk Stupid"
January 18, 2002
by Bob Boudelang, Angry American Patriot

In the interests of fairness and impartiality, we've decided that conservatives should have a voice on this website. So here he is - Bob Boudelang, American Patriot, with this week's rebuttal...

Now we see the retched awfulness of the Socialist Democraps. While our Great President is trying to get the important message that trade is the economy, stupid, they are distracting us all with focusing on poor George fainting due to a pretzel. It could happen. Really.

People faint from pretzels all the time. It is as plain as the bruise on George's face.

I myself once fainted from a pretzel at the Red Bear Lounge, and the partisan left wingers there spread the lie that I had been in a fistfight because I had taken someone else's beer. You cannot prove that is true just because there are witnesses, since they are probably moderates and other LIEberals.

No one believed ME either. I guess getting shot in the ass by friendly fire or being appointed president means nothing to people anymore. But I am not bitter and neither is George Dubya Bush, although damn it, we ought to be.

And I am too allowed back in the Red Bear Lounge and the Post Time Tavern too. I just choose not to go is all, so stop saying that.

We should all focus on the big picture instead of these details. It is not our Great President's fault that Osama Bin Laden and the anthrax guy have got away, and you cannot prove it is because he was drinking either. That was a pretzel.

I see that there will be increased security at Groundhog Day, which is not silly so stop laughing. For all you know the groundhog hole may be the other end of the cave in Bora Bora. Maybe Bin Laden will poke his head out and we will have six more weeks of George Bush. I would love to see the look on you LIEberal's faces then - ha ha.

And doesn't everyone see that it is the economy we ought to be worried about, not whether George Bush got drunk stupid?

Our Great President said, "I'm worried about jobs." And it is true, and not just because of Enron and the people he put in jobs in his Administration. Good God, do we have to be distracted from important issues with these endless witch humps? It has been going on since last week. Why can't we let these important rich people do their jobs in secrecy without asking them questions about where the money went and who called who for favors? The way some of these leftists go on, you would think lying to investors and employees is wrong, instead of business as usual in the Bush economic miracle.

So what if Bush did Enron favors or not? It is not like he should be impeached over sex, or anything. It is just an ordinary stock swindle involving a friend of the president who was helping him subsidize the energy industry and get rid of pollution laws. Wake up and smell the coughing. It happens every day.

There are even some hotheads who want to limit the amount of stock a company can make employees take in their Special 411k's. Don't they realize if the employees don't get stock they will get money? You would think these poor CEOs are made of money the way some people want to rob them with taxes and worker benefits. I would take all the stock I could in my own Special 411k, if I had one.

Ted Kennedy even wants to raise taxes by taking away the Bush tax cuts that have done so much for us all already. If he does that, it will be like Osama Ben Laden has won, and not because George let him get away so stop saying that. It is a simple question. Who in America will want to work hard at their jobs and become a multi-millionaire if their sons and daughters will have to pay taxes on their big inheritances when you die? I wouldn't, and I am a part-time free-lance custodial-engineering consultant. I don't have a son, but if I did I don't think he would want to work hard either. Neither did anyone hanging out in front of the liquor store yesterday, in an informal pole I took yesterday. I don't think anyone else would either.

I would ask at the bus station if they would if I could, but Mr. Hernandez-Garcia will not let me talk to the passengers, which if he was a real American he would know is not harassing them.

By the way, I know that you are as glad as I am that Rush Limbaugh is coming back although I should have replaced him dammit. He has got an ear transplant of some sort, and a human one too, so stop making those jokes. I thank God, who the DemocRATS have not outlawed, that we live in a country where Rush Limbaugh can get this operation because he is rich, and not a communist country like Canada or Denmark, where any just deaf person could get it with socialized medicine. Then what would be their incentive for working hard and getting a radio job where they could tell the truth about why Enron is Ann Richards' fault? I ask you.

Instead, people laughed at Our Great President when he told them it was all Ann Richards, just like they laugh at me at the bus station when I come in with a black eye and cut lip and tell them I fainted from a pretzel. But we will see who laugh lasts.

I am sorry to say that Deputy Jack Oliver has not sent me another e-mail and so me and the rest of the Republican team leaders have no letters and phone calls we can spontaneously make this week while pretending to be Democrats like we did last week. But I am not the kind of person who needs to wait around. I believe in action, as our great president does.

It is only a miracle that those pretzels did not bring this nation an unspeakable tragedy, not that Dick Cheney in charge is one, but you know what I mean. It is time we get our great president Bush a safety helmet, and not just for pretzels but for all snacks.

I went to Kinko's (see, I am too allowed in there) and put a photo of our great president on two pieces of cardboard with thsee words:

I have been wearing it front and back as a sign as I do my work in the bus station and as I walk around the streets.

Secret Service Agent Brown laughed out loud in approval when he saw it. I think he is embarrassed that the Secret Service did not do more to protect George W. from the pretzel, as he just laughs and waves me away when I try to talk to him.

I hope everyone who sees it will send money to the White House so that he can have his snack safety helmet. I thought of the idea so I shouldn't have to.

The only person who said anything bad is Mrs. Rosenfeld at the Daisyview Trailer Park, who said, "Good thing they didn't give him an ice cream cone. He'd have poked his fool eye out." That is a horrible thing to say, and I am convinced she is a Communist or something.

Enclosing let me say this. Support our great George W. Bush. Just because he injured himself eating a pretzel is no reason not to trust him with free trade authority. And Enron has nothing to do with him so stop investigating. Amen.

Bob Boudelang is a patriot and Republican Team Leader who does not get drunk either so stop saying that. Send money for the snack helmet or look for the man with the sign at the bus station.

Read Bob's other rebuttals

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