Democratic Underground

Equal Time with Bob Boudelang
September 7, 2001
by Bob Boudelang

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In the interests of fairness and impartiality, we've decided that it's about time the conservatives had a voice on this website. So here he is - Bob Boudelang, American Patriot, with this week's rebuttal:

Phil Gramm Is Another Tragedy for America But That is Not Why I am Sick

This Democrap war of truth and activity has got to stop! Now I am physically ill and upchucking over it. And it has been a week of triumphs for our Great President George Bush, too, if only America had any clue instead of shouting nonsense about recession and the surplus.

Phil Gramm - what a tragedy for America he is. I do not have to say more. Think of all he has done for America in his career. It is hard to even say. Wherever there has been the threat of public schools or Medicare Phil Gramm has fought to stop it. It is scary to think of all that might have been done if Phil Gramm had not been in Congress. Now he is going off into the Golden Sunlight like Jesse Helms and Storm Thurmond although he is not dead yet.

The rumor is that next Fred Thompson may leave and go back to Hollywood. Why someone would leave Washington, with exciting and interesting people like George W. and Trent Lott and Tom DeLay, just to hang out with stupid losers like Julia Roberts is beyond me. And when will Alex Baldwin go to France already like he promised? Barbra Streisand and Rosie O. Donald too. She wants to take away everyone's guns, and yet she went and got an armed bodyguard just because of a few letters. What a hypocrite.

And it was horrible that the El Presidentey of Mexico Vincent Fox said that George W. should give immigrants amnesty before the end of the year. Who does he think he is to come from his little country and talk to our President like that? Was it not enough for George W. to call them guest workers instead of wetbacks? It is bad enough they will not learn English, like the people who founded Texas, Arizona and New Mexico, but now they want to have rights like they were Americans. No one is complaining about the good Mexicans, but some of these people have broken immigration laws coming here to take jobs like fruit-picking and garment-sewing away from Americans.

I am happy to see that after the miracle of the tax cut which put this country on the road away from where the past eight years have gone, our Great President is talking with Trent Lott about another tax cut for capital gains. This will benefit lots of workers like me and you with more money for the rich to make more jobs.

It is as plain as California where deregulation did not cause an energy crisis because it was not true deregulation. What the Californios needed was MORE deregulation, instead of the phony LIEberal and moderate answer of price caps, which only provides a solution. What we need to fix the tax cuts is more tax cuts.

Don't you realize that times have changed and the old progressive notions like helping the poor are out of date? A new wind is breaking in the country, and conservatives are responsible.

But there is no outrage to which LIEberals and Moderates will not go to spread their gloomy message of tolerance and progress. What is worse is that they are able to dupe the public with the truth instead of listening to our "story." I blame the vicious left wing media which has stopped running stories about how Gary Conduit killed that girl and got away with it because there is no evidence, and is distracting us with stories about recession, and Social Security and patient's rights and other trivial concerns.

Mr. Padnavatham lets me watch his television again as I have caught up in the rent, but he will not watch Fox News so I cannot tell you the latest.

However, I hope that you have paid attention to George W.'s crafty tactics visavee China. First he said he would encourage them to build missiles and more atomic bombs, then he said he would share the missile defense program with them, and then he said he would not and he was not encouraging them. Are those tactics or what? Once again the sinister puppet masters of Bayjing have been outwitted by our own. It is like when George W. fooled them into thinking he had apologized when he only said "I'm sorry." No wonder you see those bumper stickers that say "Bush is a Jenius."

It is sad to report that I am even working with a bunch of DemocRAT socialists too. A couple weeks ago someone drew a Hitler mustache with a magic marker on my autograph picture of Colonel Oliver North that was in my locker at the bus terminal.

And then just before Labor Day someone stuck a subversive flyer in my locker about unionizing. It was very disloyal to the bus company's fine CEO Liston McIntire who has been spending the summer in the Riviera researching mass transit there. It complained about him getting a big raise and a interest-free loan from the company even though there have been layoffs and stock prices are down. Good God, talk about class warfare!

The flyer quoted him complaining about how small his raise was in Forbes magazine and pointed out that he had put in an executive dining room with a four star chef and an executive spa with a swimming pool. Well excuse me for breathing, but is he not entitle to some comfort after a hard day of meetings and paperwork?

You would think that especially before Labor Day people would give a thought to our hard-working millionaires and multi-millionaires who have built themselves up from nothing to provide us with jobs, as Mr. McIntire and his father before him and his grandfather before him have done, instead of this nonsense about unions and benefits. When was the last time you got a job from a poor person?

I said as much to Mr. Hernandez-Garcia who hired me although he is not a qualified candidate, and he said something in Spanish and sighed. He does that a lot, and I think it is because he knows he has been appointed to the job and is not up to its demands thanks to the tyranny and bigotry of affirmative action.

I did not think Mr. Hernandez-Garcia was going to get to the bottom of things, so I sat right down and wrote the following letter to Liston McIntire and sent it to company headquarters:

Liston McIntire:

Do not worry about laying off workers! You will get what is coming to you! Enjoy your four star dining room. Be careful in the pool. Hope you had fun in France.

You will get what is coming to you! Do not forget that! "The blood of patriot guns cries out for freedom."


A Friend

P.S. The check is in the mail! George W. Bush will get what he deserves too!

I did not say Dear Liston McIntire because I did not want him to get the wrong idea and think it was from a GayoAmerican. I got the address off the customer complaint cards that we hand out here at the terminal to the passengers, who throw them on the floor, the bastards. I also put the friendly PS to let him know I was a fellow supporter of our great President Bush, as he was. Mr. McIntire even went to the Inauguration Ball!

Well, you would not believe it but this week the bus terminal has been swarming with undercover cops and even Secret Service, as some subversive DemoCrap sent Mr. McIntire and President Bush a death threat! Yes, there is no cowardly depths to which these dirty un-American dogs will sink!

I got to know one Secret Service agent, Agent Brown, really well as he and me had a long talk for hours. I asked him if he wanted me to bring my gun to work just in case of trouble and he looked at me funny. I guess he did not expect that much cooperation, dealing as he does with dangerous crazies all day.

I had put this picture of George Bush that was in the newspaper and on the internet up on my locker door, and Agent Brown wanted to know why.

I told him that I wanted to put it up to show the dangerous Socialist Democraps that I worked with that our Great President George Bush was an ordinary working guy that you or me would probably like to buy a few drinks for if you had money and he could still drink.

"But he looks like an idiot with that glove hanging out of his mouth," said Agent Brown.

That made me angry, although later I realized he was just trying to rile me up to see if I was cool under pressure. "Did you not ever have to take your glove off when you had something in your other hand?" I roared. To demonstrate I took off my own workglove like George W. Unfortunately I forgot I had just been cleaning the men's room, and so I have been home sick upchucking ever since.

Enclosing let me say, America support our Great President George Bush and his brother who didn't steal the election so stop saying that. I hope you will look at his picture every day and remember you never saw Bill Clinton or Tom Dasshole or Richie Gephardt like that. And now I have to go upchuck again.

Bob Boudelang is an Angry American Patriot who hopes every rich person and Republican gets what they deserve and that you feel the same way, although you are not upchucking like he is.

Read Bob's other rebuttals