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January 13, 2005
Compiled and written by Delilah Boyd, A Scrivener's Lament

Who's Your Republican Daddy?

George W. Bush says, "Don't question my war, you traitors!" Supreme Court wannabe, Samuel Alito says, "Trust me when I say I can't remember hating minorities, the disabled and women, but trust me to remember minute details of case law from the same time period." And Republicans scrambling to distance themselves from Jack Abramoff and Tom DeLay are screaming, "Don't worry your little heads about our ethics problems, children. Big Daddy Republicans will make everything right as rain again!"

Of course, Bush, Alito, and the Republicans running from Jack and Tom didn't actually use those exact words. But that's what sane people heard.

Call Me Irresponsible?

Asshattery of the first order! George W. Bush (the professional backdrop prop) says I'm "irresponsible" and "giving comfort to our adversaries" for questioning his war. Well, George can't tell me what to say or what to think, even though he'd certainly like to. Life In Bush's America speaks for me:

I think what is irresponsible is not those that are critics but an administration that lies us into a WAR, drains the bank of all our money, totally screws the war up and them attempts to cry about it when people point out that HE has caused all this.

Bush is Irresponsible, not those that point it out, this is a last ditch effort to use 9/11 to stop people from pointing out a failure.

You have rode that horse till it's dead, Mr. Bush. Move along and do something that is good for Americans for a change.

Of course, this is the same George W. Bush who insinuated that the U.S. Supreme Court needs Alito to gain some class and dignity. Crooks and Liars has the video. And unfortunately, the president has no moral qualms about endorsing a dishonest liar. Hughes For America has the sordid details.

Alito's Choice: Lie or Claim Amnesia

Michael Coblenz, blogging for Interventionmag.com, writes:

During Judge Alito's confirmation hearings yesterday, he was asked about some of his rulings in the area of criminal law. Apparently he once ruled that the police had the power to search anyone in a house when they were serving a warrant, even if that included strip searching a ten year old girl. That was just one of many rulings where Alito ruled in favor of broad police authority.

Digby at Hullabaloo, in a post called "Freeping the court," also speaks for me: "I just had a chance to see Alito's opening statement and I have to say that I think he came off as an asshole." If you missed any of the excitement, Firedoglake has been live-blogging the Alito confirmation hearings, beginning with the opening statements and inserting blah blah blahs when appropriate. Professor Bainbridge, however, offers a more visceral description of the hearings:

After catching up on the first day of the Alito hearings, one conclusion seems inescapable; namely, that Alito is more machine now than man; twisted and evil.

Also funny (as in a Sammy Alito-weird way), Blame It On The Falling Sky laments:

Another "I can't believe the bastard said that" moment.

This week's 'moment' brought to you by shameless lover of democracy-buying business interests, Lindsay Graham.

ALITO: Hello, Senator.

GRAHAM: That was an interesting exchange.

GRAHAM: I guess there's no rule against beating a dead horse, or we'd all have quit a long time ago. (LAUGHTER)

So in the next 30 minutes, I'm going to ask you the same questions you've been asked for a whole day. (LAUGHTER)

And I hope you'll understand if any us come before a court and we can't remember Abramoff, you will tend to believe us. (LAUGHTER)

For a "first person" account and more than a few chuckles, be sure to check out The Right Honorable Samuel A. Alito, Jr. (being the official, sanctioned, most righteous blog of the man who is going to get past those pesky senators. The A Stands For Awesome). Well worth repeated clicks!

Finally, The Corsair gives us the Alito Drinking Game (for those late-night C-Span reruns of the hearings):

Take one drink if:

... Starre decisis is mentioned
... The word subpoena is mentioned
... A Republican refers to Alito as "consistent" and his opponents as "desperate"
... The audience breaks into fake Washingtonian laughter.

Take two drinks if:

... Someone says "White Boys Club."
... A heated argument breaks out between Senators/ A Senator loses his or her temper
... Brown v. Board of Education is brought up.
... Senator Specter, adrift on a sea of chaos, pedantically reminds everyone, "I am the Chairman of this Committee"

Pound it if:

... A Senator drops the "Scalito" bomb.

Funny you should mention the Scalito bomb, Corsair. Want to watch Republican Box Turtle Man, Senator John Cornyn, call Alito "Scalito?" Daily Kos has the link.

Alas, Alito appears to be skating toward confirmation. Never mind his written record on sadism (torture), spying (on American citizens), and sperm (Roe v Wade). Unless Senate Dems have some fourth quarter Hail Mary plan to expose Alito's "I can't recall" and "that was then" testimony, Sandra Day O'Connor's wishy-washy swing vote legacy will fade into oblivion, possibly for decades, and access to the precautionary arts, education and career advancement will once again be a privilege of birth and means.

And Mrs. Scalito will continue to cry on cue when those mean women and minorities protest her hubby's 12th-century rulings. Gee, I wonder if that little strip-searched girl cried, Mrs. Alito?

In other legal news, Gennifer Flowers lost her bid to sue Hillary Clinton for some stupid thing or another. Boo-effing-hoo, Jennifer. As usual, bloggers took this story and ran straight to Google.com with it, looking for "where is she now?" material. As luck would have it, we now know a lot more about Gennifer's cash-cow husband and personal backer (since 1990!), Finis Shelnutt.

Remember the guy in New Orleans who sat outside and drank champagne while people perished around him? The guy who started the rumors about looters shooting at police officers? Yep, that's Gennifer's husband. Rigorous Intuition has the whole story, and it isn't pretty. Most notable Finis Shelnutt quote: "Most importantly, the hurricane drove poor people and criminals out of the city."

Sad News From the Blogosphere...

In Memoriam

San Francisco blogger, Gary Rhine

Gary Rhine (Rhino's Blog) died in a plane crash in Lancaster, California, on Jan. 9th. Funeral arrangements are detailed on his blog. You will be missed, Gary.

Mourner's Kaddish...

My Phone Records, My Privacy

John in DC at AmericaBlog notes: "If you had any question whose side Republican Congress is on, now you know: the side of big business and the telemarketers." John in DC goes on to cite a Chicago Tribune article on selling your private phone records without your knowledge. Would a Dem-controlled Congress do that?

Speaking of privacy rights, the NSA has been spying on yours truly, along with other Quakers and Unitarians in Baltimore. The details are on my blog, A Scrivener's Lament. And while we're on the subject of spying, the "good guy" spies aren't allowed to expose their neocon puppeteers, but one of them is, at least, offering hints.

Gagged whistleblower, Sibel Edmonds, says Wot Is It Good 4 is getting hotter and hotter in the game of "Hot & Cold: Brewster Jennings, Edelman and Grossman." Hmm. Curiouser and curiouser. It's just a shame that we aren't allowed to learn the truth without playing games (because Big Daddy Republicans say so).

Truisms really do make the best joke material, y'all. Case in point, Chris Hanson's latest Bush joke:

After numerous repetitions of "We don't know if Osama is still alive," Osama himself decided to send George Bush a letter in his own handwriting to let him know he was still in the game.

Bush opened the letter and it appeared to contain a single line of coded message: 370HSSV-0773H

Bush was baffled, so he e-mailed it to Condi Rice. Condi and her aides had no clue either, so they sent it to the FBI. No one could solve it at the FBI so it went to the CIA, then to the NSA. With no clue as to its meaning they eventually asked Britain's MI6 for help. Within a minute MI6 cabled the White House with this reply:

"Tell the President he's holding the message upside down."

Pat Robertson & The Kiss Of Death

Really. Pat has been shunned by Israel for his lame-assed "God smote Ariel Sharon for dividing Israel" comment. Does this mean that Pat's $50 million Jesusland Theme Park, scheduled to squat on Sermon on the Mount acreage, might not come to be? Pat has certainly set the Jesus Tilt-A-Whirl project timeline back several cubits - and bloggers are, naturally, having a picnic. She of the Wandering Attention Span writes:

11th January, 2006. 2:08 pm. Memo to Mr. Robertson

Dear Pat:

Perhaps you should have a disciple wash those feet before putting them in your mouth.

XXXOOO,

Me

And Kemp at The "Bush"-Whacked Administration reminds Pat that there are indeed consequences:

Israel will not do business with Pat "What-can-I-say-next-to-make-me-look-&-sound-like-an-absolute-idiot?" Robertson after the evangelical leader stated that Prime Minister Ariel Sharon's stroke was divine punishment for the Gaza withdrawal.

--SNIP--

All I can say is; Karma baby!

Karma, indeed. (By the way, Kemp, That scrolling headlines code in your blogger.com profile section is way cool - I am so stealing it!)

Silly me... I thought Republicans despised "big government," reveled in the honor of the U.S. military's treatment of prisoners, and believed without a doubt in a citizen's right to privacy. Boy, was I wrong. Bush's government is bigger than every other administration's in our history, the Pentagon is now known as Torture Central, and the right to privacy only applies to Republican Anglo-Saxon males and their wives (if they can cry on clue).

I was one of those lucky Scouts with a yellow dog Democrat/Atticus Finch father. Even if I hadn't been so lucky, I certainly don't need a spying, stealing, torture-loving Republican to tell me what to think and what I can or can not say. This is America, Bush! Bite me, asshat!

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