October 28, 2005
Compiled by Delilah Boyd, A
Bibbity Bobbity Blog! Blog Box Hallowe'en Edition
Are you obsessed with the Plamegate investigation? There are 10
telltale signs you might be. Have you printed out your Rove-O-Weenie
mask yet? Now's your chance! Can you define Rove Rage and Fristianity?
Better check the 2005 Beltway Dictionary. Are you qualified to replace
the "Boy Genius?" It could be time to dust off that resumé...
Auguring Made Easy
For the latest blog posts (changing faster than Superman in a phone
booth right now) on BushCo indictments, upcoming trials, Patrick
Fitzgerald's expanded office space needs, the early demise of Harriet
Miers' Supreme Court nomination, and the spirit of Republican spin
yet to come, the easiest way to keep up today is to consult Technorati.com
and type in any of the following search words: Rove, Plame; Fitzgerald;
White House; or Politics. I'll bookmark the juicy ones and track
the developments for next week's Blog Box.
Meanwhile, while we've been waiting for BushCo indictments to
be announced, Democratic
Veteran was burning
the midnight oil (or a Bette Midler black-flame candle) crafting
his wickedly wonderful 2005 Beltway Dictionary. A few entries:
Rove Rage: The act of being pissed off
before you can be pissed on.
Miller-Culpa: Lying about lying to make
previous lying seem less substantial.
Scootering: Taking a grudge as far as
constitutionally possible, and then just a little
Kellerism: Claiming to have been blindsided
by an event only a blind man could not have seen.
See also: Miller-Culpa.
Fristianity: Making a religion of deliberate
analytical errors, induced by presidential aspirations
and a desire to be Dobsoned.
Delayed: Just fucked.
Exspecterate: To orally reject an unqualified
Supreme Court nominee by a president of your own
Condying: Never being held responsible
for anything. And making sure your husband isn't
Also bookmark and printout worthy is Think
Progress's excellent post, "Right-Wing Myths About
The Leak Investigation," nine frighteningly stupid wingnut claims
- deftly vivisected with those pesky little things called facts.
Too many BushCo Hallowe'en mask choices (posted on my blog A
Scrivener's Lament) and not enough heads? Be sure
to thank Virginia at I
Love Karl Rove (Don't be bewitched by the blog title!)
for the Rove-O-Weenie mask, suitable for wearing while robbing small
children of their Hallowe'en candy. Virginia has a life-size PDF
printable version available.
Speaking of Rove, can The Emperor Worm be replaced? Craig's List's
DC job board has published
an ad (by an anonymous poster, of course) for Karl Rove's replacement:
Excellent career opportunity!!!
Seeking Deputy White House Chief of Staff to
take over all United States domestic affairs!
Run the entire country from your office in the
West Wing. Direct and instruct POTUS, CIA, and
top journalists (NYT, Time, etc.) on all issues
of national importance.
You must have excellent contacts with evangelical
Christians, NASCAR fans, true patriots, and angry
white males. You are equally friendly with billionaire
corporate raiders, oil barons, and godless capitalists.
The ideal candidate is very comfortable speaking
exclusively on "deep background" and avoiding
public appearances. You are the kind of person
who does not have to say anything publicly - you
make journalists, folks at town hall meetings,
and American troops say it for you.
Note: We will only consider applicants with
a flair for dramatic and patriotic settings, including
but not limited to aircraft carriers, Mount Rushmore,
Ground Zero, rustic ranches, and well lit statues
(Liberty, Andrew Jackson, etc.). Need to be skilled
at supervising POTUS bike rides, brush clearing,
video conferences, and segway rides.
Experience with push polling and direct mail
Job may start as soon as NEXT WEEK!!!! Maybe
even sooner. Please send your resume and references
to email@example.com, with "Boy Genius"
in the subject line.
What better time for a cat fight than Hallowe'en week? The
Peking Duck is my latest temporal New York Times
Select backdoor find, and the reader comments posted after Maureen
Dowd's aim-for-the-eyeballs column, which clawed at Judith Miller's
shallow-as-a-saucer-of-milk behavior, are priceless. Click fast,
though. The link is apt to disappear in a puff of smoke, and no
amount of spellcasting will likely resurrect it.
I'm not one to add insult to injury, but I'll make an exception
just this once: I would be remiss not to mention Frank Pitz's excellent
post, "Judith Miller: Centerfold for the presstitutes" at Online
Toil and Trouble
Former paper of record the New York Times might as well
catch the ten o'clock broom to oblivion, because The
Huffington Post has become the must-read of the day.
Jeff Cohen's "Weaponsgate
Is a Media Scandal" slices and dices what he astutely calls
"elite journalism." Bruce Kluger lights our path through "The
Da Libby Code" in a post worthy of Brother Cadfael and/or Dan
Brown. Also this week, beloved Rep. John Conyers lays out the "Pre-Emptive
War Against Patrick Fitzgerald," and Alec Baldwin asks, "Why
are contemporary Republicans so full of shit?" in his post, "What
Happened to the Party of Lincoln?"
Also experiencing a major growth in popularity is Josh Marshall's
Points Memo and his group blog TPMCafe. For example,
Paul Begala's TPMCafe post, "What
It's Like," explains how it feels to be on the receiving end
of an investigation. (In the Clintons' case, make that endless investigations
and no convictions.) The blog's gone big time, folks. Devilishly
Another wonder of wonders - Facing
South exposes the latest Sixth-Sense-BushCo-Loving
scam suddenly permeating newspaper editorials. Republican Astroturf:
it's not just for letter writers anymore...
What do this
newspaper editorial, this
one, and this
one all have in common?
All of them are unsigned editorials, which makes
it look like they're original opinion pieces for
each paper. (The Colorado Springs Gazette even
says it's "our view.")
Where's that headless horseman when you need him? At the very
least, these modern day Ichabods need a little good clean Brom Bones
From Ghosties And Ghoulies...
And you thought your childhood neighbors were scary on Hallowe'en?
Andy Singer, at So
May It Secretly Begin has posted his definitive nightmare
on GOP Street...
1. You agonize in public and online that it shouldn't
be called Plamegate. Unfortunately people have
not caught on to your choice which happens to
be Traitors Gate. You complain that they just
don't get the nuances.
2. You are in the process of putting together
your very own timetable of who did what when just
in case you catch something that Fitzgerald missed.
3. Your first thought in the morning is to get
to your computer to see if anything happened while
you were sleeping. Alright maybe you make coffee
first, but that's while the computer is booting
4. You have Fitzgerald's web page bookmarked.
Moreover you have personally analyzed the html
code in this website for hidden clues to what
he is going to do even though your knowledge of
html is cursory at best.
5. While walking through the liquor store, you
have a powerful urge to buy a bottle of champagne.
You decide not to buy it because you don't want
to jinx the case like you did back on election
day. You are convinced that Kerry lost because
of your lousy bottle of Korbel brut.
6. Your family changes the subject whenever
you launch excitedly into the latest developments.
Your spouse has lately been browsing mental health
and deprogramming websites.
7. You have recurring fantasies involving Dick
Cheney, Karl Rove, Scooter Libby, a roll of duct
tape and a 300 pound tattooed lifer named Bubba.
These are not pleasant to have near mealtime.
8. You flip through the news channels thinking
"Why the hell are they so obsessed with this hurricane
crap? I want to hear what Cheney said to Libby,
9. You almost post an update of a list of employees
and titles to your employer's website that includes
the name George W. Bush and the title Unindicted
10. You have been caught walking out of your
place of employment humming "It's Beginning to
Look a lot Like Christmas" or is it Fitzmas?
Bone chilling, bklyncowgirl! Have you been spying on me? If not,
I bow before your powers of observation!
Blog Box Correction
Just put me in the iron maiden and slam the door. Last week I cited
the site dedicated to exposing that putrid piece of mutilated monkey
meat known as Rep. Richard Pombo. ActBlue had actually linked to
fearless Pombo fighter Matt at Say
No To Pombo. This week, Matt shares some of what
he's learned so far in his struggle to rid the country of Pomboism:
Link roundup: What I have learned about Richard
Pombo in the last couple of days.
His Grandma Pombo taught him how to tell a good
story. Too bad she didn't teach him how to tell
He's always looking for a way to "deflower"
the virgin wilderness.
For him, "sustainable boating" is all about
how to sustain your speed when you run over a
manatee with your boat.
(I also decided that Pombo kind of resembles
a manatee. Or is it just me? Must be the mustache…)
Click on over to Say No To Pombo and learn how Matt handles anti-Pombo
fundraising, campaign investigations, and exposing Pombo's ties
to Tom DeLay. Faust would sell his soul to possess this man's courage
and tenacity. If you're trying to rid your district of a pesky Republican
menace, he might be willing to take you on as an apprentice. Kudos,
More Blog Box Kudos
To Steve Clemmons at The
Washington Note. Not only has Steve's reporting on
BushCo's desperate hole digging (you know the adage: the deeper
you dig, the harder it is to see daylight), The Australian
has published his opinion piece on Brent Scowcroft's scathing attack
on the Bush administration. I'd warn Steve to beware small planes
and seemingly random car/pedestrian accidents, but it's already
too late. By the way, Steve is sure that the driver wasn't aiming
FYI: Fitzmastide, now slated to run through most of 2006 (and
hopefully straight through the November mid-term elections), could
easily surpass Festivus as my favorite Alternative-To-Republican-Fascism-Lifestyle
holiday. Send me your Fitzmas celebration and gift ideas, and we'll
put Fitzmas on the
map calendar, where it rightfully
Happy Hallowe'en, and just say no to Republican tricks. Instead,
demand decent Democratic treats - and I'm not just talking about
full-size Hershey bars, damn it!
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