September 23, 2005
Compiled by Delilah Boyd, A
Presstitutes, Satan's toy dinosaurs, felonious cronies, and Bumvertising™
- oh, my! This week, bloggers held cable news anchors' feet to the
fire, leaked Karl Rove's "off the record" remarks, and resurrected
Jefferson's "divide the counties into wards" idea. Even right-wing
bloggers weren't exactly happy with their chosen ones, either.
From Media Whore To Presstitute
Once upon a time, there was mediawhoresonline.com. Now, there's
a daily dose of presstitution with a twist: Presstitutes will pay
you if they post your contributions of BushCo media whoredom. Here's
Miles O'Brien Has Balls - When It Comes To
Attacking New Orleans Mayor
O'Brien is a loyal Bush-propping Pre$titute,
but he discovers his inner journalist when it
comes to bashing New Orleans Mayor Ray Nagin on
CNN's American Morning: "This is a time of crisis
and you have to expect more from your leaders."
Imagine O'Brien saying that about his master?
Not in this lifetime.
Get a PayPal account, check out Presstitutes, and alert
them when you witness obvious examples of BushCo-media circle jerking.
For insight into the genesis of skepticism, Matt at Pooflingers
Anonymous shares his own fundie faith-based grade
school experiences with his fundie teachers and their asinine fundie
answers to his dinosaur questions. The first time Matt asked a teacher
about dinosaur fossils, this was the answer: "Fossils are a trick
of Satan," he said, without even a hint of irony. "Dinosaurs never
existed." Later, when Matt asked the same question, another teacher
replied, "Dinosaurs were made by Satan," she said. "God killed them
all in The Flood because they were evil."
Of course, Matt knew that dinosaurs weren't mentioned in the Bible.
Eventually, Matt slew the Fascist Fundie teachers with his fourth
grade wit and wisdom (you really have to read how he did it). Many
a fundie teacher surely muttered "smartass" every time they checked
the roll and Matt was present.
Hey, did you hear the one about the FEMA Fundies? Johnson
City Forum, a team blog, tells the tale of the mortician
who almost walked away from body recovery efforts because FEMA insisted
on praying over each corpse discovered in Hurricane Katrina's aftermath
before continuing the search for others:
FEMA holds up recovery of THE DEAD - insists
bodies are PRAYED OVER
In the most macabre mishap, the chief body collector
nearly pulled out of New Orleans over a dispute
with FEMA. Kenyon Worldwide Disaster Services
dispatched a small team and a mobile morgue to
New Orleans as Katrina hit. With the death toll
rising, Kenyon offered more staff and morgues
if FEMA could broker a deal with Louisiana.
But FEMA and the company argued for two weeks
until Kenyon finally gave the Feds an ultimatum:
Work out a deal or find a new mortician.
The issue raised by the Feds that Kenyon found
distasteful: an instruction that chaplains bless
recovered bodies. A company source said the Feds
are insisting on this, and the first chaplains
are supposed to go out this week. Asked if that
was mixing church and state, a FEMA spokeswoman
responded: "A prayer is not necessarily religious.
A prayer is not religious? Everybody prays? Here's where I just
have to add: "'and dinosaurs aren't real,' muttered the FEMA spokeswoman."
Can it get any weirder than this? If it concerns Republicans, of
course it can.
At least one right-wing blogger is sick of science bashers. The
Politburo Diktat has penned (or keyboarded) "The
Wedgie Document," the rational person's answer to the fundies' "Wedge
Document." Politburo Diktat writes:
The purpose of The Wedgie Document is very specific:
to provide rational people (defenders of science,
evilutionists, whatever) with guidance in presenting
persuasive arguments in internet debates. Someone
once observed that 90% of the people reading these
debates have their minds made up. It's the other
10% of potentially open-minded readers that this
document will help you address.
Thanks, Politburo Diktat! Most of us have been relying upon the
old "using science to disprove science makes you look really stupid"
Felonious Safavian Follies
Ellen Miller, posting at TPM
Cafe, asks the million dollar question:
If Safavian knew that Abramoff personally was
paying the bill, how is it that Rep. Ney was duped,
as he claims?
(David) Safavian's emails also highlight another
problem. How is it that Bob Ney thought the National
Center for Public Policy Research was paying for
the trip when Safavian made no mention of the
center in his emails seeking permission to take
Bob Ney lied.
By the way, David Safavian was the Bush administration's procurement
chief UNTIL LAST FRIDAY, for cryin' out loud. Did you notice how
the corporate-owned media referred to him this week as "a former
Bush administration official?" For the record, Daily
Kos has started a dkosopedia file on Safavian, who
might as well be Grover Norquist's conjoined twin. Oh, and...
Karl Rove Is Still A Traitor!
Huffington Post posted the list of crappy-assed Karl
Rove comments spewed during his weekend in Aspen (while New Orleans
continued to drown, and HE was in charge):
On Katrina: The only mistake we made with Katrina
was not overriding the local government...
On The Anti-War Movement: Cindy Sheehan is a
clown. There is no real anti-war movement. No
serious politician, with anything to do with anything,
would show his face at an anti-war rally...
On Bush's Low Poll Numbers: We have not been
good at explaining the success in Iraq. Polls
go up and down and don't mean anything...
On Iraq: There has been a big difference in
the region. Iraq will transform the Middle East...
On Judy Miller And Plamegate: Judy Miller is
in jail for reasons I don't really understand...
On Joe Wilson: Joe Wilson and I attend the same
church but Joe goes to the wacky mass...
Also posted is the short list of movers and shakers in attendance.
Hmm. I wonder which one(s) dropped a dime on Turd Blossom. One name
screams, "It's payback time, BushCo!" Guess which one.
Adding to this week's Rove Report, The
Gadflyer notes: "And, does anyone take seriously
Bush's vows to erase the legacy of poverty, racism and inequality
in the reconstruction of New Orleans? Putting Rove in charge of
that operation sure sends the right signal about the President's
Mission Speechifyin' Not Accomplished
Junction says it best:
Lights, camera, empathy! The Bush administration
has gone to great lengths and great expense to
create just the right image... from the "magic
hour light" Mission Accomplished speech aboard
the USS Abraham Lincoln to hiring a small floatilla
of barges with floodlights to illuminate the Statue
of Liberty, to sticking his head on Mount Rushmore.
It seems a bit absurd, however, to spend a huge
amount of money to bring in lighting crews and
massive theatrical floodlights to bathe a building
blue in the middle of a humanitarian crisis. They
even took the time to reset the clocktower back
to the correct time. Why didn't they just use
the building's existing white lights instead?
Did they need the lights to match the president's
shirt? Note that his sleeves are rolled up and
his collar is unbuttoned. It sure is hard work
rebuilding New Orleans, isn't it?
Found On One Of George W.'s Internets
Is this real?
Having been fooled more than once by fark.com, I'm asking readers
for confirmation of this post from bumvertising.com:
Bumvertising™, or the use of sign holding vagrants
to advertise, is a development of PokerFaceBook.com's
most recent advertising campaign. Homeless men
are able to provide a valuable and tangible service
to a company, while receiving an additional revenue
stream in combination with their normal donations
This reminds me of the depression-era socialites' scavenger hunt
for a forgotten man in My Man Godfrey. Of course, one step
above Bumvertising would be George W.'s most recent photo-op. That's
right, folks! The BushCo banner is back! Photoshopping may now commence!
Bush Be Gone!
I've recently become a big fan of Stevie Magruder (Nexus
Stevie), who has crafted a scathingly brilliant Bush-Be-Gone
Index to measure the public's "should he stay or should he go" mood.
The index is based on a simple web search using the same five phrases.
By the way, Stevie has written a fan letter to Cindy Sheehan, which
is both poignant and Bush-butt-kicking. Way to go, Stevie!
The Jefferson Plan
How do we beat the right-wingnuts? Easy. Joe Costello at Of
By And For tells us to recreate the ward system.
In the last decades of his life, Jefferson's
final political theme was, "divide the counties
How do we renew self-government in the 21st century?
We can start at the beginning of the 21st century
by looking at each individual and asking what
do (sic) each of them need in order to be healthy
participants in self-government. We know they
need food, shelter, health care, and education.
But also, what is their role as citizen?
Wards work sort of like Neighborhood Watch, without that "fascist
busy bodies with flashlights searching for signs of stranger-danger
minorities" thing that defines most suburban neighborhood attempts
to involve citizens. (Not exactly what Jefferson had in mind.) But
then again, Jefferson never envisioned a corporate-owned press,
extensive voter intimidation and fraud, or an administration so
completely out of touch that the president had to watch a DVD to
find out that the city of New Orleans had been destroyed several
Returning to the ward system is an interesting idea. At least
we'd know which neighbors are committed to community involvement
and promoting the general welfare. And we'd know their political
party affiliation, too. Maybe bloggers will run with this idea and
blog the strengths and needs of their ward neighbors. It worked
once without the Internet. Why not again with the help of bloggers?
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