April 29, 2005
Compiled by Delilah Boyd, A
Fractured Fairy Tales
For right-wingers, this should be the best of times: their fairy
tale dreams of establishing One Nation Under A Narrowly-Specified
Religious Interpretation Of The God Of Abraham, completely destroying
both The New Deal and The Great Society, and living happily ever
after in a country governed by a single political party are well
They've installed a witless cheerleader
(be sure to scroll down that page for the seriously funny stuff!)
in the White House, whose mind is a total blank until they point
him in the direction of the teleprompter's carefully-scripted right-wing
talking points. They've rewritten rules to suit their ethics-challenged
situations. Best of all, they've created so much havoc, both nationally
and globally, that the revelation of a Republican gay
hooker/fake journalist roaming freely in and out of (no pun
intended) the White House barely rates a mainstream media mention.
So why are Republicans still so unhappy? To them, it's also the
worst of times: Take a hike, Veruka
Salt! They want it all. And I mean ALL. Fortunately, they're
having trouble convincing even their own supporters that their path
to Happily Ever After isn't thorny, and their tactics aren't bordering
on Deliverance-style banjo-picking instead of glass-slipper
glamour. Consequently, this has been a week of BushCo Fractured
Chapter One: George W. And The Tanking Approval
Blogging for the right, The
American Thinker blames the Republican penchant for
backing down as the reason for George W. Bismark's sinking poll
numbers. Meanwhile, those Elmer Fudd Wannabees at Blogs
For Bush celebrate their
weekly Wictory Wednesday (I'm not making this up!) by begging bloggers
to "support an important Republican campaign." This week, it's the
destruction of the filibuster, of course.
Chapter Two: Justice Sunday Holy Rollers Meet
Commotion - not exactly a left-of-the-dial blogger
- gives us the good ("This was a slickly-produced show"), the bad
(almost everything else about the whole thing), and the ugly ("Perkins'
best line, repeated every few minutes, was '...and if you don't
know who your Senator is, just call the Senate Switchboard at...'").
Civil Commotion strongly recommends viewing this (cough) show (available
for the low, low price of $15)
and studying it if you want your message to
reach large numbers of people effectively.
Currie reviews Just Us Sunday with the watchful eye
of a United Church Of Christ seminary student:
No one who opposes the president should be accused of not being
religious simply because they do not share his view of policy
- or theology. Those who sponsored "Justice Sunday" will be remembered
for dividing our nation on religious lines in an unprecedented
manner. That will be their lasting legacy.
Chapter Three: Billy Goat Frist And The Curiously
Clever Poker Player
As a native Texan, I recognize a hand of Texas Hold 'Em when I
see one, and Senator Harry Reid showed absolutely no tells whatsoever
when he offered Frist The Cat Killer an olive branch this week.
Naturally, Frist folded like a cheap accordion, shook his Snidely
Whiplash fist, vowed to ram every radical right-wing activist judge
down America's throat, and walked away from the table.
Here's the funniest part - the game ended with even more BushCo
supporters wondering why their guys are acting so mean. Hint: Just
because you're a Mormon doesn't mean you're not a poker-savvy politician.
claims that Republicans were "outgunned in the rhetorical debate
over the filibuster issue," and Al Franken quotes Senate Minority
Leader Harry Reid, D-NV, on a conference call with bloggers:
"They're great with names… On Social Security, they've been trying
to call private accounts 'personal accounts.' They can talk about
the constitutional option all they want. It's privatization, and
it's the nuclear option. They created thse (sic) terms, and they're
going to wear them around their necks from now till Doomsday."
For more on Senator Reid's conference call with bloggers, check
Left and MyDD.
By the way, Josh
Marshall has cataloged numerous references to Trent
Lott coining the phrase, "Nuclear Option." Did you hear that giant
cracking sound? Even right-wing bloggers like QandO
are embarrassed by Lott:
Someone in Washington just needs to slap Trent Lott for ever
calling this the "Nuclear Option." Can we all agree that Trent
Lott shouldn't be allowed to name things anymore? In fact, there
should be a checklist of things Trent Lott can no longer do, and
right at the top, it should say "Name things," right above where
it says "Talk about the Segregation Era."
Chapter Four: Cindersleezza
In a post called "Lies, Damned Lies, and Condoleezza Rice," The
Stinking Desert (whose blog name, I hope, is an homage
to Firesign Theater's "Temporarily Humboldt County"),
asks the question: is there a reality distortion field that pervades
the Bush regime? Seems so, as the BBC passes on:
Data withheld from an annual report on terrorism by the US state
department show a sharp increase in attacks in 2004, a top Democratic
lawmaker says. Henry Waxman, citing official briefings given to
congressional aides, said the number of "significant" attacks
had risen more than three-fold in a year. [...] In June 2004 the
department was forced to double its original estimate of terror
victims in the previous year. It said 625 people had been killed
in attacks worldwide in 2003 - not 307 as stated in the annual
Patterns of Global Terrorism report published two months earlier.
Poor Cindersleezza! No prince (he's married to Laura), no glass
slipper (most photographers zero in on her Olive Oyl head), and
no cuddly white mice (the corporate media never reports on Dr. Rice's
Chapter Five: The Prince And The Pea Brain
This week, DUers took a snicker break as George W. Bush Texas Two-stepped,
with Saudi Prince Abdullah through the bluebonnets. Once upon a
time, President ManDate promised to "jawbone the Saudis" if gasoline
prices rose. Mark
Adams' archived post "Scare Tactics? Feh!"
recorded that quote for posterity:
The(y) said the(y) would institute a more "humble" foreign policy
except if gas prices got too high in which case they would "jawbone"
the Saudis to get the prices back down.
Collar explains that whole "George W. Pretends
To Have A New Energy Plan" thing:
"...let's let Prince Bandar [Bush] rip us off, let's build unsafe
nuclear power plants [that insurance companies won't touch, so
Bush proposes that the taxpayer pay for any disasters and hold
the nuclear industry harmless - which sure won't do much to make
GE worry about the future safety of their nuke plants], let's
lower clean air and clean water standards and let's build more
refineries. Osama can go on vacation; we'll be wiping ourselves
Be sure to check out the entire post, "Penny Wise, But Pound
Foolish?" Blue Collar lists five important reasons why situating
refineries on closed military bases is a truly terrible idea. Meanwhile...
Chapter Six: Tom, Tom The Thumbsucking Son
Republicans brazenly changed the Ethics Committee rules to protect
poor Tom from being further admonished for his dastardly deeds.
Ironically, as long as Dems refuse to accept the changes Republicans
can't use the Ethics Committee to clear Tom of his dastardly
deeds, more and more of which are crawling out of the Bugman's woodwork
even as I type.
Noise Blog posts the best graphic to describe Dunkin
Denny's retreat and synthesizes the situation quite succinctly:
"The Right Wing still doesn't get it. We don't want DeLay to be
censured, or to step down - we want him arrested."
Mechanics adds: "This marks the second time that
a Republican-made change to the ethics process has been rescinded
for being unethical. The other was the creation of the 'Delay rule,'
which would have allowed an indicted leader to maintain his position."
Chapter Seven: Winkin' Bolton And Blogs
International credits blogger Steve Clemons with
blocking Bolton's nomination thus far. "His blog, The
Washington Note, has served as a clearing house for
information on Bolton, and has been a safe haven for honest and
dedicated people in the State Department to come forward with the
truth about Bolton and other neocons. Steve is fulfilling the role
that the free press used to play in our country."
and Piece adds, "If they can't win playing by the
rules, then their next move is ... to change the rules. Still a
fairly astonishing loss of face with a ruling party majority in
both committee and the floor, one that will be noted at the UN and
around the world and erode Bolton's legitimacy should he get there,
as well as the Bush administration's." Even sweeter is Charging
Rino's Bumiller blast:
Elizabeth Bumiller writes the somewhat expected piece beginning,
"Republicans close to the West Wing acknowledged that a rejection
of Mr. Bolton would be politically damaging for President Bush."
Bumiller reports that Cheney and Karl Rove are "playing a central
and aggressive role in trying to salvage Mr. Bolton's prospects,"
both making phone calls and having meetings with various actors
in the Bolton melodrama. Typical for Bush & Co., who as you'll
recall are incapable of error: "Republicans close to the administration
also said that a powerful motive for the White House was simply
showing strength and an unwillingness to back down, particularly
after Colin L. Powell, the former secretary of state who often
warred with the hawks, expressed private doubts to Republican
senators last week about Mr. Bolton. 'It would mean that Colin
Powell had influence to block someone...'"
(Don't judge the blog by its title!) brings us George W.'s heartwarming
memory of Splash Day in Galveston:
Splash Day once marked the end of school and the beginning of
summertime fun. The city backed off from it many years ago when
it turned a little too wild, says Christy Benson of the Galveston
Chamber of Commerce. It later became a party day for gays and
lesbians. Drawing another round of laughter, Bush said: "I'm not
saying whether I came or not on Splash Day..."
Pro-war ends with a simple prayer: "Please, dear God, let there
The moral of today's Fractured Fairy Tales: Mission F&#king
Not Accomplished! Keep 'em on the run, DUers!
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