If Bush Were a Democrat...
July 20, 2004
By Steven Vincent
Come, my friends, to an alternate universe where the same people
are in power in a place called the United States but some of their
political affiliations have been switched.
This is what it would be like if George Walker Bush (D) and Vice
President Dick "Effin" Cheney (D) presided over a country still
run by a Republican-controlled Congress and a right-wing media attack
Bush Seeks Support in Impeachment Hearings
WASHINGTON D.C. (AP) - President Bush on Friday sought allies in
an increasingly hostile and vitriolic impeachment process. The pleas
to members of the Republican controlled house fell on deaf ears.
"There is a reckoning coming," stated House Majority Whip Roy Blunt
(R-Mo.), "and it is time for Mr. Bush to pay the price for his his
reckless disregard for the truth."
"This President has done enough damage to our country's security
and military with his distortions and outright lies that I see no
alternative to impeachment and possible criminal charges," stated
House Majority Leader Tom Delay (R-Texas).
The anger is hardly limited to the House of Representatives. A
panel of all 51 Republican US Senators today approved a no-confidence
measure against the Democratic President.
Said Senate Majority Leader Bill Frist (R-TN), "I can't in good
conscience, support President Bush when scandal after scandal has
revealed what type of miserable failure he is. I would be guilty
of dereliction of duty if I did not do everything in my power to
remove this man from office."
From the massive deficit spending which is a strong issue with
the traditionally Republican fiscally conservative crowd, to the
increasingly disturbing information about the reasons given for
going to war, there is a movement within the political community
to hamstring President Bush so, in the words of Congressman Ernest
Istook (R-Okla.), "...he can't do any more damage".
Rush Limbaugh Recovering From a Stroke Suffered on Air
FLORIDA (UPI) - Rush Limbaugh is recovering from a stroke suffered
on air. Millions of fans were shocked and saddened when the conservative
talk-show host went into an apoplectic fit while ranting about the
scandals of the Bush administration.
"He started off calmly enough," said longtime producer James Golden
(aka Bo Snerdley), "but by the time he got to Medigate, Curveballgate
and Plamegate he just, sort of, turned purple and started foaming
at the mouth."
Mr. Snerdly further stated, "I blame the Bush administration".
NEW YORK TIMES BESTSELLER LIST
1. MY LIFE by Bill Clinton
2. BUSH IS A TREASONOUS, TRAITOROUS DRY DRUNK by Sean Hannity
3. MY BUSH (Would Be a Better President) by Ann Coulter
4. YOU SHOULD CHOKE ON A PRETZEL by Michael "Savage" Wiener
5. MARRIAGE IN CRISIS (How Pro-Gay Activist Judges are Destroying
the Institution I Hold Sacred) by Rush Limbaugh
Bush Was AWOL from Alabama National Guard Unit
WALL STREET JOURNAL - Documents obtained by the Wall Street Journal
under Freedom of Information Act clearly show that President Bush
was AWOL during the period he was supposed to be attending his Guard
unit in Alabama.
Further investigation points to a massive cover-up attempt by people
within the Bush administration and possibly George Bush himself
to destroy damaging documents that relate to his misconduct.
The resulting evidence will lead to criminal charges being filed.
Libby Convicted in Plame Case
WASHINGTON (AP) - Vice Presidential Chief of Staff, Lewis "Scooter"
Libby began serving a 20 year federal prison sentence for his part
in releasing the name of undercover CIA agent Valerie Plame.
The release, according to testimony in the case was a direct attempt
to punish Plame's husband, Ambassador Joe Wilson for refuting a
claim made by President Bush during his 2003 State of the Union
Mr. Libby received a relatively light sentence (he faced the death
penalty for treason) because of his cooperation with prosecutors.
Although it still hasn't been made public, Mr. Libby's testimony
is believed to be the reason for the sudden and unexpected resignation
of Vice President Dick Cheney. Cheney reportedly stepped down because
of health issues and because he wanted to spend more time with his
openly gay daughter, Mary.
Sources inside the prosecutor's office claim that Scooter "sang
like a canary" and implicated Cheney in the illegal release of information.
Sources also state that Mr. Libby "peed his pants a little," and
"cried like a scared baby" when he was led away in handcuffs and
shackles to begin his sentence.
Bush Rated Worst President Ever
ZOGBY (Poll) - Bush is rated worst president ever in recent poll
and only second to Hitler as most despised leader of all time.
Poll has a margin of error of +/- 4%
There you have it, my prediction of how things would be if Bush
were a Democrat. Of course, if Bush were a Democrat he probably
couldn't have done the things he has with the impunity and arrogance
he has shown.
The media, Congress, and special prosecutors all turn up the heat
on a Democratic president. The watchdogs of democracy, the checks
and balances of our great society must provide the same high standard
of scrutiny to all of our elected officials regardless of the letter
that falls behind their name or the real or imagined dangers we
face. They have failed us as much, if not more, than the leaders
who have gotten bolder with each successful scam, ruse and lie.
Shame on them and shame on us if we allow it to continue for four