Democratic Underground  


APRIL 2004

I Will Not Shut Up
April 30, 2004 · Dick and George, don't look for me to shut up any time soon. I've got battalions of dogs in this fight, and I take the loss of even one of them personally. In spite of what you two seem to think, American military are not trained to die, but to live. By Sheila Samples

The "Liberal Media" Fails to Strike Again!
April 30, 2004 · The "rule of law." We know it applies to presidential blowjobs, worthy of a Constitutional crisis when lied about. But the secret, perhaps illegal, expenditure of $700 million of tax payer money to prepare for a war which hadn't yet been approved by the branch of government constitutionally mandated to do so is, apparently, just another one of those things not worth worrying about for the "liberal media." By Brad Friedman

The Invisible Patriot
April 29, 2004 · The GOP machine is currently engaged in a despicable smear campaign against John Kerry. Nothing new. They did the same thing to John McCain and Max Cleland, men who served their country, fought in war, and gave of mind and body. The GOP has no use for such men, especially when they fail to toe the party line or meet the GOP definition of "true Americans." By John Cory

Colin Powell Unleashes Preemptive Strike
April 29, 2004 · My friends, In the past week, a great deal of controversy has stemmed from what I said, or did not say, to the journalist Bob Woodward in preparation for his book, Plan of Attack. Let me be frank. It is frustrating for a public figure such as myself to have his carefully chosen words turned upside-down in the national media. Satire by Randolph Lewis

B.D. Shows His Hair
April 29, 2004 · Doonesbury, whose author is a favorite target of conservative watchdogs moaning about the so-called liberal media, recently offered the first sacrifice of a comic strip character in the alleged cause of Iraqi Freedom. By Kevin Dawson

Preview: Transcript of Bush/Cheney Testimony Before 9/11 Commission
April 28, 2004 · A special sneak preview transcript of George W. Bush and Dick Cheney's joint testimony before the 9/11 Commission. Satire by Bernard Weiner

A Question of Patriotism
April 28, 2004 · I have no doubt that George W. Bush loves America. Why wouldn't he? It isn't everyone who can live the life he's led and still end up in the White House, even if it was through the back door. What's not to love? Yet it takes much more than an appreciation of one's priviledged status in life to deserve the top position in our government. There is the question of patriotism - a quality that always places the best interests of the people ahead of all other interests. By Joe Fields

Ann Coulter vs. Arabs
April 27, 2004 · Conservatives do a lot of whining about how liberals are always quick to label conservatives as "racists" or "homophobes" or "stupid." These assessments, at least for me, are based on what I hear coming out of a conservative's mouth, or what they write. By Scott C. Smith

Your War, Our Dead
April 27, 2004 · It's easy to teach literature these days. Not a day goes by that the White House doesn't illustrate some folly of the abuse of power, an obsessive literary theme for thousands of years. By Luciana Bohne

Sovereignty With Strings Attached
April 27, 2004 · One of the definitions of sovereignty is "freedom from external control." George W. Bush's hypocrisy is all the more blatant when he tells the American people that our military fought and are still fighting in Iraq because we want to give the Iraqi people freedom and democracy. In fact, he is now demanding that the Iraqis can only have partial democracy and basically no sovereignty over their own country until he says so. By Richard A. Stitt

A Little Cold
April 24, 2004 · Suddenly it all makes sense, doesn't it? All those people who've been dismissing the Bush administration's handling of Iraq and the economy, who've been denouncing Bush and Cheney as incompetent and stupid, aren't being proven right by what's happening. They're being proven to be short-sighted. By Pamela Troy

Bush Spends Millions to Lie to America
April 24, 2004 · Because his own record is such a disaster, George Bush has spent over $50 million dollars to spread lies about John Kerry. By Todd Smyth

Bush Makes Earth Day Appearance
April 23, 2004 · In a departure from years past, President George W. Bush celebrated Earth Day this year by appearing before a Houston audience of oil and oil-services business leaders at a campaign fundraiser. Satire by David Albrecht

The Day I Was Asked to Feed an Elephant
April 23, 2004 · On April 21, I finally became part of the establishment. At least the Republican National Committee believes I did. I received a letter from Ed Gillespie. The Ed Gillespie. Chairman of all the Republicans. By Walter Brasch

Bring it On - Bring Back the Draft
April 23, 2004 · On first pass, many of my fellow liberals might recoil at the thought of a draft. As the father of five sons, two of which are at draft age and another quickly approaching, it is certainly not my wish to see them drafted to serve as pawns in Bush's oil war. And that is just the point. By Dan Gougherty

Shallow Throat to Dems: "Time to Go for the Jugular!"
April 22, 2004 · When I got the coded call from Shallow Throat, I was worried. The last few times we'd talked, the highly-placed GOP mole in the Bush Administration was extremely frightened, fearing imminent discovery, so I thought something bad might have gone down. By Bernard Weiner

Fifth Column
April 22, 2004 · It's 2007, and two rich, white, conservative Republican women are discussing truth, justice, and the American Way over $25 lattes at Starbuck-buck-bucks... Satire by Eddie Ruff

The Original Trifecta
April 21, 2004 · What is The Original Trifecta? It is the three forces primarily responsible for George W. Bush's ascendancy to power, as well as the setting of policy, both foreign and domestic. By David Fitts

Ornithology 101
April 21, 2004 · For avid bird watchers, here are some interesting and rare species that can be observed almost year-round (except for occasional migrations to undisclosed locations). By Richard A. Stitt

What Tax Cut?
April 21, 2004 · Any long-term financial benefit anticipated from the Bush tax cuts has likely gone right out the window to the rising cost of health insurance and out-of-pocket medical expenses. By Evelyn Pringle

The Good Soldier
April 20, 2004 · Colin Luther Powell is a good soldier. Few know just how good, because Powell is a walking dichotomy - very adept at showing only his illuminated side to moonstruck supporters. Americans who so generously bestow political capital upon Powell are either unaware of, or do not believe, the deadly murkiness of his dark side. By Sheila Samples

Bush Tax Cuts Hurt Nation's Security
April 20, 2004 · While Bush mesmerized us with tax cuts in one hand, the other hand was busy cutting federal funding to states, forcing them to negate income tax relief by raising property and sales taxes. And those remedies still haven't been enough to make up the difference in federal funding. By Joe Fields

A Tale of Two Bushes
April 20, 2004 · I think Bush could make a tape recording of himself snoring loudly, play it back for conservatives, and have the conservatives remark about how "articulate and on message" the president was in his snoring. By Scott C. Smith

United States to be Exported
April 17, 2004 · Following years of American employers exporting jobs overseas, the Bush administration announced today that all 50 of the United States will be auctioned and shippped abroad under a new international trade policy. Satire by Art Howard

Don't Treat the General Election Like a Primary
April 17, 2004 · Kerry was not the first choice for all of us, but Bush was not the first choice for many who still support him and understand what a general election is. We have two choices now, and the gap between them this time is wider than usual, not narrower. By David Swanson

The Two Elephants
April 16, 2004 · America's rapidly growing oil consumption is obscenely out of proportion with its percentage of the world's population. But even worse, American military actions, foreign policy, and environmental policy have all been hijacked by this addiction, wildly twisted onto a self-destructive collision course by the contortions necessary to feed a reckless dependency on oil. By Nancy Waterman

Up, Up, and "B.S. Away!"
April 16, 2004 · The Silicon Valley scientist-friend who introduced me to "B.S. Away" several months ago invited me to visit again for a second tryout of his new truth-spray invention. After watching Condoleezza Rice's slip-and-slide performance before the 9/11 Commission, and the U.S. military spin on the unraveling events in Iraq, I couldn't resist. By Bernard Weiner

Like Spinning Plates
April 16, 2004 · Lately it seems that every time we hear about a scandal in the Bush Administration, we've barely had an opportunity to inspect, much less digest, the one before it. Could that be part of the plan? To create so much static from so many nefarious acts that not one can be focused on long enough to hold anyone's interest, nor hold anyone accountable? By Jack Frost

It's the President, Stupid
April 16, 2004 · At his recent press conference, George W. Bush denied being driven by polls. But it was more than a coincidence, in the face of flagging public opinion and pressure by members of his own party, that Mr. Bush chose this week to grace members of the press with his presence. By Joe Fields

The Ultimate Failure
April 15, 2004 · With the rapidly approaching anniversary of his ignominious display on the deck of the USS Abraham Lincoln of ego run amuck, one thing has become brilliantly clear: George Bush is as much of a failure as a "war President" as he has proven to be in everything else he's ever attempted. By Michael Shannon

Facing the Music
April 15, 2004 · The time has come to forget fanciful visions of vindication or even redemption, and view the Iraq situation as it is, a pile of bleached bones and a river of blood whose nature has been decided, but whose magnitude is still, for now at least, under our control. By Raul Groom

Investigating Condi's Claim About the Aug. 6 P.D.B.: 'Warning' or 'Historical Information'?
April 15, 2004 · An investigative reporter nominates and confirms three people to his "Independent Commission" to determine the difference between warnings and historical reports. Satire by Marc Grobman

Cheney and Scalia Protest Too Much
April 15, 2004 · If Dick Cheney wins the legal battle to keep the records of his energy policy meetings secret, the Supreme Court will effectively be saying that oversight of the executive branch is limited to only what a president and vice president decide to permit. Such a decision would represent one more blow in the Bush administration's assault on American democracy. By Evelyn Pringle

Unclear on the Concept
April 14, 2004 · The White House has prevarication through misinformation, subterfuge by photo-op and purely partisan lying down to a fine science. They think that works - and it does, on the part of the population that simply won't think for themselves. By punpirate

Bush's Quiet War
April 14, 2004 · With the war in Iraq, the 9/11 hearings, and the economy, the media have little time and space left for other important issues. While it is imperative to underscore the ramifications of Bush's disastrous foreign policy, there is another war that his administration is waging, which many feel has as much or more cause for concern. It is the war against our environment. By Joe Fields

Gay Marriage: What Are Conservatives Afraid Of?
April 10, 2004 · Republicans are so threatened by the possibility of gay marriage that they're ready to amend the Constitution. And let's be honest, some of the more vocal Republican voices speaking out against gay marriage do not exactly have a great track record with this institution. Newt Gingrich comes to mind. By Scott C. Smith

If Bush Is So Weak, Why Is He So Strong?
April 9, 2004 · The primary rule in any contest is "know your adversary." Study his strengths and his weaknesses. Strengths can, judo-like, be turned against the foe. Weaknesses, if skillfully exploited, can subdue the enemy. This is especially true when the enemy is himself unaware of his own weaknesses. By Ernest Partridge

Rambling Rice
April 9, 2004 · Condoleezza Rice faces a tough interrogation at the September 11 Commission hearing. Can she provide the answers to the questions that are on everyone's lips, or will she explode under the pressure? Satire by Larry S. Rolirad

The Truth Hurts
April 9, 2004 · When Senator Ted Kennedy said that Iraq is George Bush's Viet Nam, he struck a nerve. The Republicans have been squealing like stuck pigs ever since. The truth hurts. Obviously the reasons for the two wars were different. What is not different is that we are once again trying to force our way of life on people who don't want it. By Vicky Davis

A Question for Condi
April 8, 2004 · Under its agreement with the White House, in order to have Rice testify the Commission is forbidden to ask any administration official to testify in any future public hearings. So if any of the Commission members wants any White House official to speak to the country about what happened on 9/11, he or she better ask those questions today. By Allan Wood

Where Was the U.S. Focused?
April 8, 2004 · Did the Bush administration make terrorism an equal priority? The diminishment of Clarke's position to a sub-cabinet position would argue that they did not. Did the Bush administration know that terrorism was a growing problem? There certainly were warnings. By Tab Julius

More Questions for the 9/11 Commission
April 8, 2004 · What, exactly, was the longtime head of Saudi Arabia's secret police doing in the United States, while fifteen young Saudi professionals were carrying out their attacks? Did Ms. Rice, or anyone in national security, even know that he was in the United States? And why was he allowed to leave just days after 9/11? By Margie Burns

Bush Scandals Are Roiling: Turn Up the Heat!
April 7, 2004 · As John W. Dean, President Nixon's counsel, titles his new book: It's Worse Than Watergate. Far, far worse; most of the Nixon crimes involved trying to cover up a scandal, but the Bush Administration has turned its extremism into permanent national policy, with horrifying consequences. By Bernard Weiner

An Easter Sermon
April 7, 2004 · The fundamentalist brand of Christianity boils down to an ecclesiastical winnowing process where only the select few can get into heaven. Fundamentalists view God as a Donald Trump figure, who at the end of our life says, "You're Fired," and sends most everybody to hell. Fortunately for most of us, that's not the kind of Christianity practiced by Jesus Christ himself. By Jeffrey Ritchie

Life Imitates Art in the State of Bush
April 7, 2004 · What do George Orwell, Jack and the Beanstalk, westerns, and professional wrestling all have in common? Bzzz. Time's up. The answer is that you will find elements of these artforms and more in the Bush administration. By Joe Fields

The Beginning of the End?
April 6, 2004 · Dismissing the events of the past weekend in Iraq will be nothing more than whistling past the graveyard. As anyone with eyes, both on the ground in Iraq, or reading a newspaper or watching television anywhere else can plainly see, this is the manifestation of the nightmare scenario for the American occupation. By Michael Shannon

If Royko Were Here...
April 6, 2004 · I often wonder what Chicago's late, great Mike Royko would think about Dick Cheney. Cheney is literally snickering up his sleeve at the direction he's managed to steer the independent (sic) 9-11 Commission, to effectively cover up what he and others in the administration knew beforehand. By Sheila Samples

Bush Signs Unborn Victims of Securities Fraud Act
April 3, 2004 · Surrounded by Wall Street brokers, anti-abortion activists and SEC attorneys, President Bush today signed into law a measure, popularly known as "Madison's Law", making corporate crimes affecting the unborn federal offenses. Satire by David Albrecht

The Bush Administration: What, Me Ethical?
April 3, 2004 · Bush promised a new era in Washington, with an administration dedicated to meeting high ethical standards. On Jan. 22, 2001, Bush urged his new staff to avoid "even the appearance of impropriety" and to conduct themselves with humility and civility "at all times." The road to hell is paved with good intentions, right, George? By Scott C. Smith

Iowa Iraq Kansas Why Statehood Makes Sense
April 3, 2004 · Iraq, by most measures, is a mess: car bombs in Mosul, anti-American demonstrations in Karbala, very bad hummus in Tikrit. The democratization of this war-torn country could take decades if we follow the current course. But there is another way. Satire by Phil Lebovits

Defeating George Bush's Assault on American Jobs
April 2, 2004 · You don't have to go far to realize that an economy tenuously on the rebound for Wall Street is very much in the dumps on Main Street. Just check out the proliferating dollar stores and paycheck loan providers that both owe their existence to far too many of us being too poor to shop at "real" retailers or to go through a month without running completely out of money. By Dennis Rahkonen

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