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That's Entertainment!
May 20, 2003
By Mary Pitt

When it comes to sheer entertainment, this Republican administration takes a back seat to nobody. Not Ethel Merman belting out "There's No Business Like Show Business" or Phineas T. Barnum's "Greatest Show on Earth" can hold a candle to the spectacle to which we have been exposed for nearly three years.

It opened with the great act of a common man, a compassionate conservative, rousing the crowds and whipping them into a froth of anger over the shocking sexual habits of the sitting President and continued through promises that "I'm a uniter, not a divider" that rang with the echoes of "TROUBLE! Right Here in River City". This act was followed by a daring show of ledgerdemain which resulted in the disappearance of voter's rights as well as that of the Electoral College, replaced with the Supreme Court of the United States which was received with great applause by the masses of ignorant rubes.

Immediately we were deluged by the cries of the hucksters, a miraculous surplus which disappeared with the something-for-everybody tax cuts and was replaced with a recession and ballooning deficit as far as the eye can see. Soon the deficient, despondent, and underfunded military was turned into the world's greatest fighting machine with nothing more than the wave of a magic wand by a "real leader."

This was followed by the spectacular disappearance of a national landmark, (which had been earlier damaged by a despicable attack and was never quite adequately repaired), due to a band of merry men who had failed to completely demolish it several years before. This was a shocking surprise to the people, although the leaders appeared to take it in stride as just another act in their reportoire. However, the end was not yet! There followed the total destruction of a small nation in Asia as retaliation, resulting in great civilian casualties in the name of freedom and democracy, even though the leaders of the group escaped to the wings to dress for their next act. Unfortunately the heroes did the same and the other participants in this great show of strength were given their pink slips and retired to their former oblivion.

But wait! The show was far from over! Another bad guy lurked in the wings, complete with a mighty army and weapons of mass destruction which he was about to unleash on the good old U.S.A.! Our armies roared into action and, destroying everything in sight, sped through another country. This act was a little disappointing to some, because the weapons of mass destruction were never found, but, by this time, the crowd was in such a fever of enjoyment that they were forgiving of that slight lapse. Even the failure to find the leader of this mighty opposing force did not dampen their ardor as they waited for the next act, particularly when their hero appeared, flying onto the deck of an aircraft carrier, posing and orating in a well-rehearsed depiction of a victorious warrior.

After a brief respite, the first band of warriors has bombed another country. The hero is spechifying and posturing about this terrorist, and ready to fly off and invade the nation that now holds the remnants of the original bad guys (and a few friends that they have picked up as the result of anger over our compassionate treatment of the people left behind in the already-conquered nations). The audience are sitting on the edges of their seats awaiting the next feat of derring-do by the hero who appears before the favored few to accept their plaudits while his stage-director prepares for the next act of liberating the oppressed and bringing freedom and democracy to the beleaguered citizens of the world.

The down side is that this production is much too long and the endless scenes of blood, gore, and ultimate victory are beginning to wear on the audience who are more than ready for an intermission in order to attend to their personal needs as well as to count the money after the frequent passing of the hat at every interval. Most are awaiting in anticipation the final words of this extravaganza: "Peace" and "FINIS"!

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