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Iraqi and Bullwinkle
March 19, 2003
By Kevin Dawson

Well, here we go: Operation Desert Sequel. Keep your arms inside the car at all times. Do not attempt to exit until the car has come to a full and complete stop. And remember: this is the kind of theme park ride you can't sue over if you happen to get hurt.

Surprisingly, Our Great Leader only asked for Saddam Hussein's exile in order to avoid war. Perhaps it's a measure of his "compassionate conservatism" that he didn't demand that Saddam commit hari-kiri (perhaps that would have been the next step if Saddam had agreed to exile; if he'd actually agreed to suicide, Bush might have decided, "No, first you have to put on this Marilyn Monroe costume and wig and sing 'Happy Birthday, Mister President'").

The newspapers report that the polls indicate an increase in war support. Maybe people are just plain tired of the same old arguments and want the damn thing over with. Are you as weary as I am of the Hitler analogies, offered by people who weren't even alive when Hitler was around?

"We could have stopped Hitler much sooner!" (How? It was the conservatives who fought FDR over America's entry into that war, many giving the same reason that got Jim Moran into so much trouble recently.)

Or: "Where were the war protesters when Clinton dropped bombs on Iraq in 1998?" Actually, that's a fair question. Here's another one: when that was going on, where was "Saddam Hussein is an evil dictator and must be taken out at all costs"? Where was "We're at war and must stand behind the president" when the World Trade Center was hit the first time?

And why the sudden interest and concern for the Iraqi people? We certainly didn't see any evidence of it during eight years of Clinton-bashing. If the Republicans had been as intent on bringing down Saddam Hussein as they were Bill Clinton, we wouldn't be in the situation we're in today.

They've countered the "rush to war" charge with "Saddam has had 12 years to comply with UN resolutions." Funny, but they had the same 12 years to notice that he wasn't doing any such thing. Instead of calling for a weapons inspection back then, they were too busy investigating Bill Clinton's sex life. Oh, and bragging over the "victory" of the first Gulf War. (That Stormin' Norman sure put Saddam in his place, didn't he?)

And now that France has joined Iraq, North Korea, and California as part of the Axis of Evil, one has to wonder when Reps. Jones and Ney (the ones who got Freedom Fries put on Washington DC menus) will start calling for the burning of French-language Bibles.

One thing Bush said in his March 17 address (isn't it cute how Tony Blair, considering Britain's relationship with Ireland, chose St. Patrick's Day as the deadline for Saddam to disarm?) resonates: The tyrant will soon be gone.

Which is a reminder that the next presidential election is only a year and a half away. Let's see him pooh-pooh "focus groups" and "polls" then.



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