August 16, 2002
By Joan Healy
I have been pondering what makes Bush so intent on going
to war with Iraq. The whole world, allies and enemies alike,
seems to be against his mad passion for this war. Many of
our military leaders find this war not to their liking, and
even though the media is still obsequious and never questions
his wisdom, the public is beginning to wonder. Yet still Bush
and his administration ratchet up the war rhetoric daily.
What, pray tell, is the reason?
Then the light struck and I knew the answer: poor George
is feeling guilty! He missed his chance to show how macho
he really is during the Vietnam war. He probably was anxious
to serve in combat when Poppy found a spot for him in the
National Guard (even though there was a long waiting list).
I can hear him telling George, "Son, war is just too dangerous.
You stay right here and protect Texas."
And that he did. Well for a while anyway, until that mixup
in Alabama. He was probably kidnaped by some liberal democrats
who just wanted to make him look bad if he ever ran for elected
office and anyone - media take notice - cared to check out
his service record.
So now to erase the blemish from his record, he has decided
to engage in his own war, albeit from the safe post of commander
in chief. But that seems a bit unfair. I think Bush should
be able to experience the full thrill of battle to prove his
He thinks a preemptive strike is called for. I say go to
it George! First I think he should strap a six gun to his
hip. That way he can look the part of the macho Texan that
he tries to project. Possibly some friendly country will offer
a plane to fly him to Baghdad. If not, one of our jets could
fly over and he could parachute out. Wow! Think what that
would do for his image.
But wait - I almost forgot about his hawkish advisors. They,
too, are probably all feeling a little left out as it seems
most of them missed their chance to go to war in Vietnam.
Let's see, Cheney says he had "other priorities". Just think
now he's almost in charge so he can just say the word and
he, too, can go. John Ashcroft was busy teaching business
education. Tom DeLay we know wants to go this time.
He said he really wanted to go to Vietnam, but alas, all the
spots were filled with minorities. It must have been that
nefarious affirmative action.
John Bolton, who now says we go to war if Iraq whether they
let weapons inspectors in or not, also dodged serving in Vietnam.
Paul Wolfowitz probably became one of Bush's most hawkish
advisors because he, too, avoided his opportunity to serve
his country. Jeb Bush seems to have missed the fray in Vietnam
- but I don't know if two brothers should go in the same company.
Elliott Abrams and Ted Olson and many, many more are champing
at the bit. They want to do their duty since this is a very
patriotic crew. I'm sure they will come up with a great acronym
for the gang.
I can see them marching behind their leader, Bush the conqueror,
into Baghdad to right all wrongs and rid the world of evil.
After they finish up there - it shouldn't take long, I heard
this war would be a "cakewalk" - they can pull out the wanted
posted: Osama Bin Laden WANTED DEAD OR ALIVE. And finish the
job that Bush said he started in September.