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He'd Like To Buy the World a Coup
June 27, 2002
By Beth Henry

Democracy is a fine thing, according to our unelected Simba-in-Chief. Of course, it may not necessarily be determined by votes representing the will of the people. It may easily mutate into martial law and unilateralism in our own country, while retaining its nominal nobility, but only in the event of an undeclared war with no objective and no forseeable conclusion. Democracy is sacred to George W. Bush, even though it proved a nuisance to his own corporate-financed coup.

This devotion to democracy has led him to keep adding to the list of heads-of-state he would like to see ousted, by popular vote, of course, all over the world. They may already be there by popular vote, but that's a mere technicality. In a true democracy, it doesn't really matter how they got into power unless they have the Bush dynasty seal of approval.

Saddam Hussein, of course, tops the list. Little Bush is determined to succeed where Big Bush failed. Hussein, to be sure, is a "bad guy." He was a bad guy when he was our buddy, siding with us against Iran, while using chemical weapons with impunity. He was an even worse guy when he invaded Kuwait, endangering the fortunes of our petroleum industry and threatening the "American Way of Life," in which massive consumption of energy and just about everything else is perhaps even more sacred than democracy.

Then, of course, there's Castro. Cuba, it seems, is in the grip of a dictatorship in which elections are fraudulent and free speech is strangled by surveillance and oppression. That's okay, though. What really, really irks the Shrub, who admittedly would like, and is garnering, dictatorial power, is that the Cubans are not capitalists. They are being deprived of the joy and fulfillment of enriching the global corporate interests to which our administration is single-mindedly devoted.

Oh, and let's not forget that opposing Castro pleases those whom brother Jeb must please in Southern Florida. A bit more Bush family business, which now seems to dominate American policy and interests.

Hugo Chavez of Venezuala, elected by the majority of the vote there, hangs onto his office and his life by his fingernails following a corporate-sponsored attempted coup supported by Bush, Inc. In his back-pedalling response to questions about his support of this new kind of democratic process, Baby Bush first sputtered denials, then began to admonish Chavez concerning democracy, and then unaccountably segued into his usual jingoistic rant against "terrr..."

Afghanistan is a done deal. No more Taliban. After all, they were evil. They harbored Osama, were mean to their mamas, and, horror of horrors, actually thought they could bargain with Unocal to get the pipeline the company wanted to build through their country to supply some of their energy needs, and to help them rebuild their infrastructure. Had they been more forthcoming, the pipeline would have supplied natural gas to Enron's power plant in Dabhol, and poor Linda Lay would never have had to lower herself to a humble retail job.

So, even though the ideology and the culprits in the terrorist attack on our country could be traced directly to Saudi Arabian and Egyptian al-Qaeda operatives, the Taliban had to go. Now, minus a few thousand starving civilians, Afghanistan is in good hands, hand-picked for oil industry friendliness by Bush & Cheney, Inc. Another triumph for democracy!

This week, George the Younger added Yassir Arafat to the list of leaders who needed to be ousted by the people in a fair and democratic election. Does he have a replacement in mind? What if Palestinians, on the way to the polls, are shot down or arrested by Israeli troops? How, if practically all Palestine is under virtual house-arrest, will there be campaigning or voting? These are details to be worked out, of course.

Given the alchemy of political terminology at which Bush seems to excel, I'm sure he will come up with a brilliant and creative way for a country to hold elections in the path of tanks and bullets, under perpetual curfew, and surrounded by barbed-wire and checkpoints.

Who knows? We may need that very blueprint for our own elections in 2004.

Email Beth Henry at

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